A Second Honeymoon
by bluegirl-783
Summary: Sequel to 'The Honeymoon'; Set six months after the wedding, Joseph and Clarisse are struggling to find a balance in their marriage... will they be able to work out their differences and live happily ever after?
1. Prologue

_A/N: I'm back with the sequel, and I must warn you that it might not be quite as happy as the last story..._

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

**January- six months after the honeymoon**

January was usually a cool month in Genovia, a month when there was an occasional snow storm that blanketed the country and thus most of it's citizens stayed within their own four walls; a month when parliament was still on holiday, its members recovering from their Christmas and New Year's celebrations, as well as their 'exertions from their unusually eventful year in parliament, as Lord Felix remarked at the dinner held for them prior to Christmas.

It was also the month when the royal family remained in seclusion from the country, spending Christmas, the New Year and much of January at the Winter Palace in Lybitt, an occurance that had been happening since King Rupert had been on the throne, and the two princes were still very young- but this year, the occasion was more unusual and far happier that previous years, for a number of reasons, not that anyone in the country was complaining.

Firstly, Genovia now had a new Queen, Amelia, Phillipe's daughter, and the past six months under her reign had been smooth and prosperous, with the occasional teething problems as the 21 year old settled into her new role, but her grandmother, Queen Clarisse, was still around to support her, as was Mia's fiance, Lord Nicholas Devereaux, the Queen's eldest son Pierre (who was now back within the fold of the family and the country) and the Queen's husband of six months, the former royal Head of Security, Joseph Bonnell; as well as the Mia's best friend Lily and Charlotte Kutaway, Clarisse's former personal assistant and now a member of the reformed parliament.

The previous summer's events- Mia's arrival back in Genovia, her 21st birthday party, Viscount Mabrey's threat to thwart the natural order of accession (unless she was married) and the subsequent search for a husband and, a week prior to the coronation, a surprise wedding whereby, instead of the Princess married Lord Andrew Jacoby, Clarisse had married her Head of Security- had finally faded into recent history and the country, which was running smoothly (with Clarisse's occasional assistance), was settled again, happy that their Queens- past and present- were happy, as were the palace staff, who had witness the secret romance between Joseph and the Queen- but within the palace wall, not everyone was happy with life, not everyone was quite as content...

0

Joseph Bonnell, clad in his tuxedo, poured himself a Scotch and dry from the private bar installed in Clarisse's suite just after their marriage ("not that we drink that much, but it's much more convenient this way!" Clarisse had reasoned with a sly smile, justifying both private bars, one here and one in the palace in Pyrus) and strolled towards the large picture windows to gaze out at the snow covered grounds, rapidly disappearing under the blanket of darkness, to wait for his wife to finish dressing, with a heavy sigh.

It was a week after the New Year, and while the royal family had entertained the members of parliament at the annual ball held on New Year's Eve, there was yet another dinner for some members, and he was getting heartily sick of socializing and entertaining.

He thought that, despite the fact that there had to be some entertaining while they were there, the annual vacation at Lybitt would be a chance to relax and unwind, a chance for him and Clarisse, his bride of nearly six months, to be alone and further cement their almost six month old marriage, and yet...

He sighed again as he stared mindlessly out of the windows, not caring that he too was in the dark, his thoughts far away...

He didn't want to admit, he didn't even like considering it, but marriage was harder than he had expected, and he certainly hadn't thought that marriage to his beloved Clarisse would be difficult, but things hadn't gone quite as he had expected and he didn't know what to do, what to think anymore...

When they had wed, on a beautiful July afternoon, he had thought his dreams had come true- and he still did, in many ways- but after their romantic, isolated honeymoon at the beach and Mia's coronation, there had been a time of bliss, a time for them to settle into marriage, before things between him and Clarisse had changed and had slowly gone downhill, more so in the past two months...

He hated thinking about it, but there had been times in the recent months that he had vague twinges of resentment, vague feelings of unhappiness and the occasional, deeply hidden yet still fully felt, regrets... it wasn't that he regretted marrying Clarisse, but there were times, coming ever more increasingly as time wore on, that he wondered whether their marriage was a mistake, that... that... they truly were meant to be together...that Clarisse really wanted to be married to him and... whether it was time to consider the future... a future that may or may not include Clarisse and himself together...


	2. After the Coronation

_A/N: Thanks to all my readers and reviewers... you all rock! _

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

**Six Months Earlier...**

The morning after the coronation was bright, sunny and warm- a good sign for the start of Queen Amelia's reign, but while the rest of the palace- guests and some of the staff- were still in bed, recovering from the previous day and night's festivities, the recently 'retired' Queen Clarisse and her husband, Joseph, were taking a long, leisurely stroll through the gardesn, in no hurry to go anywhere or be anywhere at a certain time.

"What a beautiful morning!" she said as she stopped to examine some of her roses, bending down to sniff them and then standing and stretching with a contented sigh. "I always love summer mornings like these...the weather isn't too hot yet, but it's still warm enough to wander through the grounds in skirts and shirts!"

"It certainly is a beautiful morning," he agreed as she looped her arm through his again and they continued their stroll. "Now I know why you always tried to get out of your study and out into the gardens at this time of the day!"

"Not that you weren't dying to get out of that cramped security room!" Clarisse retorted and he had to grin at that.

"True... but what really mattered was that we were together, enjoying a little scrap of private time for ourselves!"

"Yes," her smile brightened at that. "That's mostly why I wanted to get out of the study!"

"How do you feel today?" he asked after a moment and she looked puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, yesterday you were Queen and today... you're..."

"Free!" she finished a gleeful, almost girlish look. "Free, free, free! But, in answer to your question, Joseph, I feel... wonderful! I haven't felt this light and free in a long time, not since before Phillipe decided to choose the crown, if not long before that... maybe not since I was young and before my betrothal to Rupert... .It's a strange feeling at my age, but I never truly realized how happy I would feel when I was finally no longer Queen until just now... not that I'm totally free, I still need to be around to support Mia when she needs me..."

"No one would expect that you would do anything less."

"But... this feeling of freedom is not only stemming from my stepping down from the throne- I took my vows seriously and I love my country, I always will... but it also stems from somethins else as well."

"Oh, what?"

"Being able to openlys how how much I love you," she stepped closer to him and touched his cheek with a gentle hand. "I've NEVER been ashamed of loving you, but it makes me happier to know that I can show everyone else... not that I'm inclined to do that very often."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do," he kissed her palm before leaving her hand in his.

"I know that, but I want you to know how proud I am to have you at my side and know that, when I enter a room, I am yours," she said simply. "I know that sounds very old fashioned in this day and age, but I..."

"I'm proud to be able to be at your side and be your escort... and I'm especially proud that you're mine, just as I am yours..." before he pulled her close to kiss her.

After that, they continued their stroll in companionable silence, enjoying the fresh air and the knowledge that they were, virtually, alone in this part of the garden (there were the usual cameras around, but no bodyguards, they all knew Joseph would be able to look after his wife), before Joseph glanced at his watch.

"Much as I'd love to stay out here with you all morning, I believe that everyone, hopefully, is getting up and about and we are supposed to be meeting them for brunch..."

"I'd love to stay out here too, but today, I'm just happy to follow the crowd, letting Mia do what she wants... within reason," she added hastily, but they both knew that Mia wouldn't do anything too wild, especially in the opening days of her reign.

"However," she continued with an unusually sly look appearing on her face. "The rest of the day could be our own... I'm sure we'll be able to find an excuse to slip away..."

"That sounds like a plan, my dear," he said with a grin, tucking her hand through his arm and patting it getnly, tenderly, touched at how she had changed since the wedding.

She had had the tendency to be closed, off, cold and distant, a defense mechanism she had developed during her marriage and one that was hard to break but, hopefully, the real Clarisse was emerging and the honeymoon had started the process off, much to his delight.

He was very much looking forward to seeing the 'real' Clarisse more often- the 'real' Clarisse who loved to laugh, tease others close to her, debate hotly when fired up and open her heart to those she trusted, a Clarisse she had shyly revealed to Joseph as their relationship had progressed, but now that they were husband and wife, he hoped that the 'real' Clarisse would become more permanent.

0

Mia was literally glowing at brunch- she was now Queen of Genovia, a role she had been training for since she was nearly sixteen, and while she knew there would difficulties and problems, she knew she would be able to handle it with Charlotte, her grandmother and Joseph, as well as Nicholas...

Young Lord Devereaux was present at the table when the new Queen and her guests- including Charlotte, at the request of both Mia and Pierre- gathered, and while he looked slightly nervous at being around Clarisse, still feeling guilty at the way he and his uncle had tried to cause trouble and destroy the Renaldi hold on the throne, Clarisse, after receiving the true story from Joseph, as well as her own discussion with him in the kitchens AND seeing Mia's blissful expression every time she looked at the young man, she knew he was trustworthy, kind and intelligent boy, a perfect consort, and she made every effort to make him feel included.

She did it in such a way that most people didn't notice, but Joseph did, and was touched at her gesture, and he could see that Mia too appreciated what her grandmother was doing.

Pierre was also present and Clarisse again couldn't believe that he was there, happily and easily mingling with everyone as if he had never been away, and it thrilled her every time she thought of the fact that he would soon be home permanently.

"Penny for your thoughts, Grandma?" Mia teased, breaking into Clarisse's reverie and Clarisse blushed, embarrassed at being caught out daydreaming. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I was just enjoying everyone being here," she replied with a serene smile. "It's wonderful to be able to share today with dear friends..." she glanced at Charlotte, Nicholas, Lily and Mia's other friends, as well as the Motezes.

"...As well as family..." her eyes wandered over Pierre, Helen and Mia's stepfather as well as Joseph.

"Yes, it's pretty neat that everyone's here," Mia agreed. "I'm so lucky to have so many people here celebrating and willing to support and believe in me."

"You are lucky, but we will always believe in you and will always support you through everything you go through," Joseph added, having listened in on the conversation between Grandmother and granddaughter.

"Absolutely," Pierre chimed in and Joseph was suddenly struck by the fact that if HE hadn't chosen to abdicate, PIERRE would have been King long before this, Mia could have been living a relatively uncomplicated life and Clarisse... her life would have been so much simpler and they could have been together long before now...

Joseph didn't resent Pierre at all for his decision- he was clearly happier doing what he was doing now, and he and Clarisse were now married- but he couldn't help but silently wonder what if... whether Pierre regretted his decision at all, of what if he and Clarisse had been together, legally, a lot sooner...

"If you are anything like Phillipe... or my mother," Pierre gave Clarisse a warm, affectionate look. "...then you are going to do splendidly, and I for one am looking forward to being here to see the differences and changes you make for the better in Genovia!"

"I do appreciate that, and the thought of everyone being behind me..." Mia said with a grateful expression, an expression that quickly changed to one of sly gleefulness as she thought of something else and her eyes met her grandmother's.

"However, I am also glad that the coronation was scheduled during the summer, and that there's still a month of vacation... I've got another month to do nothing but relax!"

"Mia!" Clarisse scolded, slightly shocked. "You do have things to do in regards to your new position- there are papers to be read, people to see, plans to be made..." before she realized that Mia was only joking and had only been winding her up. "Thank you so much, darling," she said sarcastically upon coming to that realization

"You are so going to have to get used to a lot of things, Grandma!" Mia laughed cheekily, ducking as the older woman threw her napkin at her, before Clarisse couldn't resist joining in.

"Be careful, otherwise I may rescind any offers of assistance!" she warned but Mia, still chuckling, clearly didn't believe her.

"You wouldn't do that to me... You're too nice to do that!."

"Oh wouldn't I?" Clarisse challenged, trying to remain straight faced but couldn't keep it up as she joined in Mia's laughter as Joseph, sitting between beside his wife and watching the interaction between them, felt pleased- the real Clarisse was emerging sooner than he had expected, but he was enjoying every moment.

There was finally a lull in the conversation once lunch was over, and Sebastian took the opportunity to tap his glass, effectively silencing the already quiet table as he stood up.

"I know this is not an official occasion, but I would just like to propose a toast to both our new Queen and our...recently retired Queen," he said. "Amelia, I am sure you are going to do a fantastic job as our new monarch- you definitely combine the best qualities of your father and your grandmother- and I look forward to working with you in the days, weeks and months to come."

"As am I," Mia said with a serious expression, although there was a small smile playing on the edges of her lips.

"And as for Clarisse..." he turned to the older woman with an affectionate look. "It is definitely going to be different not having your constant presence in parliament and in meetings..."

"Although she has agreed to stay on in an advisory capacity until I'm really on my feet," Mia intercepted.

"...Which is a good thing, as there will be times when our young Queen will need some wisdom and extra advice," Sebastian threw a warm glance at the younger Queen before refocusing back on Clarisse. "However, as I said the other night, we all appreciate all that you have done for Genovia, but I hope that you will have a well enjoyed retirement with Joseph..." he included Joseph in his look for a moment.

"You have done everything you could and did for our country, but now it's time that you look forward to having a life of your own..."

"Here, here!" echoed around the table and Clarisse blushed as, under the table, Joseph squeezed her .

"So, here's to Amelia and Clarisse... our past and present Queens... long live the Queen!" he declared, holding his glass up in tribute and the others followed suite as Mia beamed and Clarisse blushed even harder, her eyes sparkling with tears but she looked around with a smile, appreciating the gesture as Sebastian sat down again.

Long live the Queen... that used to apply to her, Clarisse thought as the conversation began flowing around her again, but now it applied to Mia, although she would still always be known as Queen Clarisse publicly... still, she was glad that Mia would be able to enjoy the title and all that came with it...

There would be a lot of hard work and difficulties, but there would also be experiences that Mia would never have if she wasn't Queen, and Clarisse had always got a lot out of her experiences...

Yet, despite her feeling of freedom and genuine happiness that all was well in her world and that Genovia was in safe hands, Clarisse couldn't help but feel a small frisson of jealousy course through her and she didn't know why she was feeling like that... why on earth would she be jealous of her own granddaughter... why?


	3. Almost Normal

_A/N: Trouble is looming..._

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

The remaining five weeks of summer seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye, and while the new Queen had plenty of time to enjoy her summer and get better acquainted with Nicholas (with no threat of losing her throne hanging over her head anymore), she also began the necessary preparations for what her job would be when September arrived and parliament reconvened, and while Charlotte, Sebastian and Lily helped in every way they could, there was only one person who really understood the role was Clarisse and she was the only person who could really help a fact she was fully aware of as well as the fact that she was also someone's wife and she had to consider that.

"Are you sure, absolutely sure, that you don't mind me helping Mia out now? It's going to get worse when she opens parliament," Clarisse looked at Joseph in concern one morning as he brought in their morning cups of tea- a habit that was rapidly becoming part of their day- and he smiled as he sat back on the bed next to her.

"I'm absolutely sure, my darling- we both know you are the one person who really understands what she's going through and can give her the necessary advice and support."

"But I don't want to neglect you," she protested in a small voice, feeling ridiculous, but he was genuinely touched.

"You're not neglecting me, dearest- you need to help our granddaughter settle into her role, and I understand that... Scott needs me on occasional, so we're both going to be busy at times, but I have no doubt that we're going to find some time for each other," he said, truly confident that they would both still have the opportunity to make their relationship work, as evidenced by the fact that Clarisse was still wearing the sexy lingerie that she had worn at the beach and was clearly enjoying it. "Although..."

"Although what?"

"Although...maybe you could be available for a long lunch today?"

He already had it all planned- they would take a picnic lunch and two horses out onto the palace grounds, away from the hustle and bustle of the palace and have lunch on the grounds.

He had often wanted to whisk Clarisse off for a private lunch but had deemed it as inappropriate- she was the Queen, at the time and he was her Head of Security- but now that it was different, she only hoped she would be available...

"Of course," she beamed at him, thrilled at the idea- they had had very little privacy in the past five weeks and she wanted to be alone with him. "I will DEFINITELY be available for lunch today... what time do you want me?"

"About noon- but I will understand if..."

"No," she closed down his sentence firmly. "I WILL be available... that's a promise,"before she leaned over and kissed him, their cups of tea forgotten...

0

Mia thought it was adorable that Joe had requested Clarisse's presence for lunch- and a picnic lunch on the grounds sounded even more romantic- and she insisted her grandmother leave early to change- after all, she pointed out, they weren't really doing anything except go over various portfolios and the agendas for their next meetings.

"I'm getting all of this, Grandma, so you should go and enjoy lunch with your hubby."

"Hubby?" Clarisse wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Old man?"

"That's even worse, and you're lucky Joseph isn't around to have heard that."

"Legal lover? Other half? Spouse?" Miat tried again but Clarisse only shook her head in mock despair as she rose from her chair.

"I'm leaving before your imagination gets completely out of control..." but the warm smile she gave her granddaughter removed the vague tone of disapproval. "Will we be seeing you for dinner tonight?"

"Yes, and Nicholas will be coming to... are you really alright about us?" Mia looked momentarily unsure and Clarisse nodded definitely.

"Yes, I am fine with you and Nicholas- and I think you are doing the right thing getting to know each other properly before rushing into a relationship."

"Kind of like you and Joe?"

"Yes," Clarisse said after a moment's reflection, realizing that Mia's comparison was absolutely correct. "Just like Joseph and I."

She was slightly out of breath when she finally arrived at the palace stables, dressed in appropriate riding clothes, but Joseph wasn't bothered that she was late as he sauntered towards her, the reigns of two horses, one including Lady, her horse, in his hands, the horses hot on his heels.

"I thought you were going to stand me up," he teased and she blushed, embarrassed, while taking note of how handsome and casually masculine he looked in jeans and blue and white button down shirt- she was so used to seeing him in black, looking polished and control, that his present appearance was a surprise... but she had to admit he looked just as sexy.

"Well, I... I..." she began, feeling a little guilty that she had been late before Joseph grinned at her.

"I'm only kidding... besides, may I remind you that you informed me that Queen's are never late, everyone else is early."

"True," she agreed with a small smile before she reached out for the reigns of Lady. "Can I still use that reasoning even though I'm no longer Queen?"

"Of course you can!"

"So, where are we going?"

"I thought we might do what Mia and Nicholas did- ride out onto the grounds, into the forest- although not fall asleep out there," he added hastily as Clarisse's eyes began to twinkle mischievously. "...and have our picnic some where where, for an hour or so, no one can find us."

"That sounds nice," Clarisse said with a dreamy sigh before he pressed her against Lady's saddle and kissed her.

"It will be, I promise..." and you know I never break my promises," he added in a low voice.

"That's what I love most about you," she murmured in response before she pulled him close for another kiss.

0

They thoroughly enjoyed their picnic on the palace grounds, away from the prying yet well meaning eyes and cameras of the palace- in five weeks, while they had had some quality time each day (and they were always alone when they retired for the evening), there were still so many people around, filling their days and, inevitabley, separating them, and Clarisse was especially worried what would happen when September arrived.

"Why?" Joseph looked puzzled as they reclined back on the blanket, lunch long over, both of their shirts half open and she had confessed her concerns to him. "We're both aware of what the next few weeks will entail, but we're both committed to our relationship too, so I don't think you should worry- I have every confidence that we will be able to balance everything."

Clarisse visibly relaxed back onto the blanket, her fears assuaged- she wanted her marriage to succeed, but she also wanted Mia to know that she was there for her- but she didn't want the picnic to end... she always had known that Joseph was a careful, considerate panner, but this lunch- a simple horse ride and picnic- had been perfect... and she suddenly, almost fiercely wished that she could disappear with Joseph and no one would know they went... yet, she liked Mia relying on her- she hadn't been able to help her for the first fifteen years of her life- but now, Mia knew that she could... but Joseph also had to be considered.

"Stop worrying," she suddenly heard him say and she realized that he was still watching her, one hand resting on her stomach. "You always worry when you shouldn't."

"How... how...?" she stammered, a little surprised, but she shouldn't have been- he had always been able to read her mind and even now that they were married, he proved that he still had a talent for doing just that.  
"You don't need to ask," he reminded her and she smiled.

"I know I shouldn't, but..."

"I love that you do... but you don't have to..." he rested his forehead against hers for a moment.

"I'll try not to, from now on..." she vowed solemnly before their lips melted together...

00000

September arrived and, with it, the recommencement of parliament as well as the offical start of Mia's reign. The young woman was visibly nervous the mroning she was to officially open parlialment, but Clarisse was there to reassure- her- while she would try to be discreet about her continued involvement with affairs of state, Clarisse would be attending the occasional sessions of parliament, sitting with Sebastian, to give her moral support, as would her closest family members.

"What were you like at your first sitting of parliament?" Mia asked nervously as she and Clarisse rode towards parliament in one car, the rest of the family following behind them.

"I was terrified," Clarisse admitted. "I had almost always been present when Rupert was in charget, but when I had a session on my own, I WAS scared... but it's perfectly natural and normal."

The parliament session went relatively well- Viscount Mabrey had been ousted- and Mia handled it with confidence and aplomb, much more than Clarisse expected but she was very, very proud of her- she could do this and, hopefully, she would come into her own very, very soon... although Clarisse didn't mind helping her, as she continued to do so as September passed...

She had had concerns about neglecting Joseph, but he too with busy with Scott and security- while Shades had been trained and prepared for Joseph's role for the past ten years, he still had questions, which Joseph was happy to respond to and help out, as he would with other issues and problems.

Yet they had always managed to carve out a little time out for each other every day- on Joseph's birthday, in mid September, they had spent much of the day sequested in their suite, as well as going for a long walk around the grounds- and it was time when both Joseph and Clarisse felt that they were a normal life... an almost normal, Joseph reminded himself on occasion, as most newlyweds WEREN'T their ages; most normal couples their age WEREN'T started off in marriage AND; they weren't usually royal or members of the royal family...

But it was only after Clarisse's birthday at the beginning of October- a day that was celebrated in high style, culminating in a party at the palace including the many members of parliament- Clarisse the belle of the ball over Mia, dancing with almost every man there- that things began to change and things began to turn sour between them, although neither of them realized that at the time...

0000000

PRESENT:

"Joseph?" her soft voice cut through the dark room and his reverie sharply and he turned to see Clarisse standing in the doorway, clad in a navy blue gown, similar to the one she wore to the dinner prior the coronation.

"What on earth are you doing, standing at the window in the dark? You couldn't see anything!"

Joseph shrugged, careful not to annoy her- they had already argued once that afternoon- but before he could say anything in the negative or affirmative, she continued:

"Anyway, we're due downstairs for drinks in ten minutes... are you ready?" she inquired as she switched on a lamp in the living room, in preparation for when they returned later that evening, and Joe sighed inaudibly before smiling slightly at her.

"Of course, my dear, I'm always ready," and she smiled back, pleased that he wasn't causing any trouble- their earlier argument had shaken her, but now she was confident that he had realized the importance of these dinners and the associated socializing- their marriage was very important, but he had to realize that Mia needed her too...

"Let's hope it's an early night," she said encouragingly as she slipped her arm through his and they walked towards the door.

"Maybe then we could have some real vacation time..." and he smiled in agreement, not wanting to mention his doubts about them, his remembrances over the past few months and... his considerations of them and for the future of their marriage...


	4. A Bad Decision

_A/N: not quite so happy now... this was a very destablizing decision and we shall see how it affected them a few months later..._

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me_

PRESENT:

Most of the guests were already assembled downstairs in the library for pre dinner drinks when Joseph and Clarisse stepped into the room, her arm through his- the trip down had been a silent affair, but once they entered the room, both of them were keen to keep up the facade that all was well in their six month old marriage.

"Joe! Grandma! I was wondering when you two would get here!" Mia teased as she pulled away from the conversation she had been involved in to greet them. "Were you keeping Grandma waiting, Grandpa?"

"More like the other way around," he replied jokingly, his smile warm yet tight, as was Clarisse's when she gently chided him, a slight edge to her voice.

"Now, now dear, I don't want Mia to think we're always going to be late because of me," before looking around the room, she changed the subject. "Ah, there's Sebastian and Sheila... Joseph, why don't you go and get us some drinks... I'll be talking to Sebastian..."

"Fine," he said amiably, disappearing in one direction, Clarisse in the opposite direction, leaving Mia alone and frowning- she had long since had the sense that her grandparents hadn't been getting along for a while, and this seemingly good natured vignette between the two of them had just confirmed her sense again.

Both of them had been keeping up the happy facade fairly well, especially when around the very intuitive maids but Mia, young as she was, had been watching them for the past month and she was starting to get worried. She had yet to discuss her concerns with Charlotte (who was permanently in parliament), Pierre (who had permanently returned to Genovia in early November) or Nicholas, not wanting to seen as interfering, but things didn't improve...

Meanwhile, Joseph was inwardly fuming at Clarisse's brusque 'order' as he headed towards the bar and returned to find her deep in conversation with Sebastian, dismissing him with a nod, enraging him even further.

She was treating him as if he was a servant to order around and as such, he chose to stay awy from her, chatting with other guests as if there was nothing wrong (and he knew that most of the wives of parliamentarians always loved talking to him), until it was time for dinner and he silently escorted her into the dining room and held out her chair for her before, once she was seated, he went to find his place opposite her and Sheila Motez, wornding why and where it had all gone wrong...

0000000

MID OCTOBER

They spent Clarisse's birthday just like Joseph's- the two of them alone in their suite in the mroing, followed by the party that evening, and it was only when they were alone again when Clarisse turned to him with a warm, grateful smile.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For giving me a birthday I've actually enjoyed... it's been a long time since I've really wanted to celebrate and enjoy my birthday..." she paused for a moment, her mind elsewhere. "It's nice to know that I can look forward to them again."

"As long as I'm around, you will always be able to enjoy and celebrate your birthday," he replied, tipping her chin up to look into her eyes for a long moment before kissing her.

"Now, birthday girl, I have one more surprise for you..." he gave her a sly smile, his eyes twinkling meaningfullly and she had only chuckled before slowly, playfully backing into the bedroom, Joseph advancingon her just as slowly and playfully.

He was so convinced that, after her birthday, Clarisse was finally ready to let go of her former role- Mia had been doing well- and spend more time with him, that her quiet announcement three days later was quite a shock to the system.

"You're WHAT?" he stared in disbelief over the dinner table at Clarisse, thankful that they were alone that night, wondering if he had heard her correctly- Clarisse had just informed him that she was accompanying Mia on her first state visit to France. "You are joking, aren't you?"

"No...it's only for five days and while Mia hasn't said anything to me, I think she would feel more comfortable having me with her."

"Have you told her yet?"

"Not yet, I thought I would tell you first... do you mind me going?" she asked almost timidly and Joseph was momentarily torn between telling her that yes, he DID mind her leaving or that it was fine, Mia DID ned her, both of which were true to him.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked finally, deftly avoiding her question, and she smiled at him warmly.

"I would love that... but this is Mia's first trip and it might not look appropriate to have an entourage with her..." she trailed off, hoping he would understand.

_Yet it's alright for YOU to go with her, _he thought resentfully to himself, hurt that she considered him merely part of the entourage, but instead of pointing that out to her, he swallowed his hurt and anger to to nod briefly at her- he had no choice but to accept she had already made the decision... and made it without him.

"It's alright with me... I'm sure Scott will need me to hold down the fort while he goes with you," before he focused his attention back on his meal, leaving Clarisse somewhat bewildered and surprised at his reaction. He was clearly annoyed about her going but, unlike the many other occasions before they were married when he stood up to her and told her exactly what he thought, this time he simply kept his mouth shut.

"Joseph... I don't _have _to go," she offered shyly and this time he looked up and smiled.

"Clarisse, it's alright to go... Mia needs you and, as her grandmother, I wouldn't expect anything less from you...it's fine..." he finished sincerely and her fears dissipated somewhat, but she still felt uneasy and she silently vowed that, when she returned, she would slow down and spend more time with him.

The five days apart passed excruciatingly slow for both of them, and while Clarisse was pleased at the way Mia was comporting herself- the French were very impressed with her- she was missing Joseph more than she had expected having forgotten that he had, in the past, always been with her on state trips, and she realized, more than ever, that she needed him with her.

However, she was slightly surprised when she discovered he wasn't at the airport when they arrived back, or in their suite- surely he hadn't been that angry, he had never mentioned it during their nightly phone calls- and she was just about to go out looking for him when he suddenly strode into the room and swept her into his arms for a bear hug.

"Hello sweetheart, I'm so glad you're home!"

"So am I," she said wryly, her anger dissipating as she snuggled into his arms. "I didn't realize how hard it would be to leave... leave you, especially after all that has happened between us..."

"Hopefully you won't need to go away with Mia for a while again?"

"Hopefully not... but if I do, maybe you can come with me?" she looked at him shyly and there was a long silence before he sighed.

"As part of your entourage, or Mia's?"

"What?" she looked confused.

"You didn't want me to accompany you this time," he said slowly, carefully moving away from her. "...As you didn't think Mia needed an entourage... what will your excuse be for taking me next time?"

"I wanted you to come with me this time but..."

"Since it was Mia's first trip, YOU were the only suitable person to go with her and I was to stay home," he finished bitterly, looking away, and there was another long silence before Clarisse dared to ask:

"Are you jealous of Mia, Joseph?" and there was only a slight, split second pause before he glared back at her, his eyes gleaming angrily.

"How can you ask me that? How can you even think that? NO, I am NOT jealous of our granddaughter or that she needs you- I've always been proud of you wanting to make up for the fifteen years you weren't there for her- but I want you to remember that you are also my wife now and I need to have some part in your life, and that includes having time with you and travelling with you when you have to go away..."

"I've never forgotten that I'm your wife," she countered, now beginning to get angry herself- how DARE he criticize her for not being with him all the time or not remembering that they were married! It was almost the only thing she ever thought about, but she still had a duty to her country and Mia and he had to realize that.

"How could you think... how could you feel that... how do you think it makes me feel knowing that you feel that way?"

"Just as badly as when you considered me part of your entourage or being jealous of Mia," he muttered sourly before he sighed and glanced at his watch. "I'm sorry, I need to get back... .Shades needs me for a little longer..."

"How? He was with us!"" Clarisse said sharply, stung at his previous words.

"He'll want to debrief about what happened here as well as what happened while he was with you...I shouldn't be too long, and then..."

"Don't worry about me," she said gaily. "I have to unpack and then I have to go through my notes for Mia... Shall we meet up for dinner, here, about seven thirty?" she inquired and he nodded, briefly, lifting her hand up to his lips (forcing her to realize that he hadn't kissed her properly since entering the room) before hurrying out of the room.

It was only after he left that Clarisse sank into a chair, genuinely shocked at what had transpired between the two of them- she hadn't seriously realized how angry he had been over a simple five day trip to Paris, and now she was wondering how she could repair the damage...

0

Clarisse made sure that she was finished her work and waiting in their suite a little earlier that evening, a table for two set up (Mia hadn't minded that they were having dinner to themselves- in fact, her grandmother suspected that she was relieved to be able to have a quiet dinner with HER other half) and dressed in one of his favourite outfits, hopeful that Joseph's mood this afternoon had been a simple misunderstanding and that he would realize that Mia still needed her and would for some time, but he too DID belong in her life.

However, the time for dinner came and went as Clarisse continued to sit in the lamp lit room, growing ever more apprehensive and even more annoyed that he was acting so childishly about her going to Paris- it wasn't as if he had been bored when she had been gone... and she was beginning to suspect that he was proving that he could return to his old job too, even though he was officially retired.

SHE, at least, was still needed in an advisory capacity and always would be, while he, once Shades took full control of the reins, would only be needed on occasion or during an emergency.

Once the clock chimed eight thirty, and she had only picked at her meal, Clarisse summoned her maids to clean up, deciding to have an early night. They were just about out of the room when Joseph strolled in, the casual way he was walking irritating Clarisse beyond belief.

"Sorry I'm late dear," he said calmly as Clarisse tried to remain calm. "I got caught up downstairs and didn't realize the time."

"Obviously," she replied, tight lipped. "Have you eaten?"

"Just a bite... I hope you didn't wait."

"As a matter of fact, I did... I was expecting...hoping you would be here."

"I am sorry..." before he strode over to the small bar to pour himself a drink. "Drink?"

"No thank you..." before she took a deep breath in. "Joseph, about before..."

"I'm sorry I wasn't at the airport to meet you..."

"It's not about that... it's about me helping Mia... you seemed annoyed..."

"I'm not jealous of you helping her, if that's what you're trying to insinuate... again..." his face turned blank.

"I know that, I don't know why I said it...do you honestly think I don't think about us?"

"It doesn't matter, I was just being silly..."

"It does matter, and you aren't being silly... it hurts me to think that you feel as though you're part of the entourage... you're not!"

"That's how I felt when you told me I shouldn't come with you the first time," he muttered under his breath.

"I didn't mean to... I would have LOVED for you to have come with me, but..."

"I know, I know, Mia didn't need both of us there... and you didn't want people to see me coming with you or know that your husband wants to spend as much time with you as he can... which isn't much, in the current climate."

"That's not true...you have had no idea how much I wanted... needed you with me."

"Needed?" he said sharply. "What for? To hang up your coat? To take your luggage to the bedroom?"

"Oh, stop it!" Clarisse snapped, suddenly fed up. "I DO NOT think of you as part of the servants, you never have been, and if you're that insecure that you feel that way... well, there's not much I can do to convince you otherwise, except to say that I love you and I wanted you to come with you!"

She paused to take a breath as Joseph looked as though he had been slapped.

"Is that what has been bothering you today?"

"No, it's not!"

"Then what is it? What have I done wrong? Or is it really Mia?" she added, needling him and his face turned red as he glared at her.

"Don't you dare bring that up again, Clarisse, for heaven's sake... are you really so blind as to not know what has been really bothering me?"

"I must be... so, why don't you enlighten me? Are you angry that I went to Paris with Mia?"

"In a way... I'm annoyed that you made that decision without consulting me..."

"Oh?" Clarisse suddenly felt relieved yet still annoyed that he was acting so childishly because of something so simple. "Is that why? You weren't consulted in the process?" she added sarcastically.

"I am supposed to be your husband, Clarisse, and I thought that husbands and wives were supposed to consult on decisions!"

"I made a mistake, Joseph, and I'm truly sorry that I didn't consult you... would you have let me go if I had asked?"

"Don't be condescending, Clarisse... I just wanted to be included, that's all."

"Well, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you... I'm sorry that you couldn't come with me... I'm sorry for everything!" she shouted as she stood and headed towards the bedroom door. "Next time I have to go to the bathroom, I'll let you know!"

"As usual, you've taken me completely out of context...I just wouldn't mind being consulted occasionally on decisions that affect both of us," he shouted in response- this wasn't going as well as he thought and Clarisse was simply too blind at the moment to understand _why _she had hurt him so badly.

"Is your masculine ego threatened if I make all the decisions?" she jeered, not knowing where this was all coming from but she was suddenly furious at the world- at Joseph, for not understanding that she _couldn't _let go just yet; at Mia, for usurping her role; at parliament, for forcing her to abdicate so soon; and even Rupert, for putting her in this position- if only she hadn't married him, she wouldn't be Queen and want to hold onto a role she had had for over forty years and wanted to let go of desperately so that she could be a woman and a wife, protected and loved by her husband with no worries at all.. "We wouldn't want everyone to think that the woman is more powerful than the man!"

There was a long icy silence after she spoke and Joseph had gone as white as a sheet, before he slowly walked towards her and brushed past her.

"What are you doing? Where are you going?" she sounded hysterical as he emerged seconds later with a change of clothes and his tolietries.

"I'm leaving before we say things that we will regret," he said calmly, pressing his lips against her cheek for a moment before walking towards the door.

"Joseph... please don't go..." her anger suddenly disappeared in a flash as she realized how stupid she had been. "I'm sorry for everything I said, I don't mean to be..."

"Clarisse," he effectively silenced her with a raised hand. "It's just for tonight... we'll talk in the morning..."

"I won't be here most of the morning," she said almost sheepishly, yet defiantly. "I have a session of parliament with Mia, and then I have a meeting in Pyrus..."

"Well...we'll see each other when we see each other then..." he said simply, his eyes shadowed with anger and pain. "Good night, Clarisse."

"Good night, Joseph," she said formally, now gathering the shattered remains of her dignity around her- if he wanted to sleep apart from her, she wasn't going to stop him...


	5. Deteriorating Relations

_A/N: Depressing, isn't it? Not to worry, things will improve very soon... hopefully!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me_

The next morning, Clarisse awoke and lay there for a moment, enjoying the sunlight streaming in through the curtains and feeling happy- she loved that time of the morning...a feeling that evaporated seconds later when she turned over and saw Joseph's empty side of the bed, and everything that had occurred the day before- her return, Joseph not meeting her at the airport or waiting for her in their suite, her waiting for him for dinner and then their explosive argument- and she shuddered.

They had had many arguments over the years, she was used to that, but this one... this one had been the first one as husband and wife, and the things they had said to each other... it had been more than a little frightening.

In the heat of the moment, she had failed to understand why he had been upset- he was right, she had treated him like a servant, although she had never really considered him as such, and if he had REALLY wanted to come to Paris with her and Mia, he could have.

They HAD to sort this out- they had only been married just over three months and she could just imagine the scandalous whispers if anyone knew there was even a HINT of trouble in the marriage... but, then again, she wa sbeing ridiculous, she chuckled to herself as she climbed out of bed- there was no serious trouble in their marriage, last night had simply been an argument, all married couples argued and they worked them out... yet, there was still a tiny part of her that was seriously worried...

"How was your night alone with your husband?" Mia teased when the two women met in what was now Mia's study to leave for parliament together, and Clarisse shrugged casually.

"Fine... we had dinner, watched some television and went to bed early..." she said easily, realizing it was the first time she had lied to Mia but it was important that she never knew what was going on.

"Ooh, is the honeymoon already over between you two?" Mia teased, expecting her grandmother to blush and hotly deny her teasing but, instead, she looked elusive as she smiled tightly, and Mia suddenly wondered... before Clarisse spoke up:

"What did you and Nicholas do?" and suddenly it was Mia's turn to blush and stammer.

"Oh... we had a pizza and watching a movie... he was back in his room by eleven," she added hastily, not wanting her grandmother to think that they had spent the night together, but Clarisse only smiled again.

"That's good," she said vaguely as Mia again wondered what was going on between and her and Joe- she hoped it was nothing serious, as from her observations (and talking to others) it was clear they were meant to be together.

"Anyway, for this session of parliament..." Clarisse changed the subject, focusing on something other than relationships and Mia took the hint- she didn't want to talk about it, and Mia respected her wishes.

The session of parliament and her subsequent meeting nearby took longer than Clarisse had expected- especially as lunch was involved- and the sun was already beginning to cast deep shadows across the lawn by the time the limousine returned to the palace with Clarisse (Mia, having had her own meeting at the place, had returned earlier) and she was more than a little disappointed to discover the suite was empty- she had half been hoping that he would be there, waiting for her.

She had just stepped out of the shower when she heard movement in the bedroom beyond the bathroom, and she quickly dried off and wrapped herself in her robe before stepping out of the bathroom to discover Joseph sitting on the bed, waiting for her.

"Hello," Clarisse said almost shyly as she stood in the middle of the room, exactly halfway between the bed and the bathroom.

"Hi," he replied casually and there was a pause between them, neither of them wanting to talk, before Clarisse realized that she would have to initiate conversation if she wanted this sorted out.

"How was your day?"

"Not too bad... how was yours?"

"Busy... I thought my meeting would never end!" she joked complainingly but he only nodded, remaining serious.

"Meetings usually are always like that," he said flippantly. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"I don't know yet, but I'm hoping to spendsome time with you..." she smiled sweetly yet almost wheedingly into his eyes, and his face suddenly turned regretful. "What? What is it?"

"Shades wants to take the boys away on a four day retreat and... I kind of said that I would go with them."  
"I see," Clarisse looked away for a moment, resigned that he would resort to this, doing what she had done earlier (which she felt was an accident- she hadn't meant to over look him) before she suddenly felt annoyed.

"Is this YOUR response to last night, or in regards to when I decided to travel with Mia last week?"

"It's neither- Shades needed some help with the team building exercises and when I helped him..."

"You decided to invite yourself along," she finished with a bitter twist of her mouth, her eyes sparkling with anger as she met his eyes. "Yes, you are definitely punishing me for going away AND for last night... and to think, I was going to apologize for last night and the way I may have been treating you like a servant!"

"I'm NOT punishing you for anything of the sort, I hadn't even planned on this happening," he snapped back. "This is not about revenge... I'm not that childish!"

"We'll see," she murmured softly. "You're still planning on going, then?"

"Of course- I figure that if you can have your own life- despite the fact you are supposedly retired- and insist on making all the decisions, I can do the same."

"Is THAT what you're really upset about- that I made a decision on my own?" Clarisse was exasperated. "I've been making a lot of decisions on my own for a long time, you know that... it may just take me a little time..."

"I know you've made a lot of decisions on your own, you've had no choice, but Clarisse... I'm your husband, we've been married for three months... so yes, I am upset about you making all the decisions in our life!"  
"Is it giving your ego..."

"Don't you DARE say that," he growled, standing and glaring at her. "You have never been more wrong about me and I hope you NEVER say that again... that was brutal, Clarisse."

"I'm sorry, Joseph, I didn't mean to make all those decisions without you," she said in a concilitory tone. "Thankfully it was only one..."

"One that denied me the pleasure of your company for a week..."

"You were right- you definitely need to be involved and we need to make decisions together."

"So you understand my point of view?" his voice was softer and his expression was softening- he was just about to forgive her...

"Yes... as long as you understand mine..."

"Oh yes!" he let out a loud bitter laugh. "I forgot- Her Majesty must always have her needs put first... her needs have been put first for so long that it must be awfully inconvenient to have someone else to consider... how on earth did you allow Mia to come into your life... that must have been hard..." he finished in a mock posh voice, and there was a long silence before Clarisse closed the gap between them and slapped him, her eyes filling with tears as he looked at her afterwards, rubbing his cheek, feeling oddly vindicated but very guilty and ashamed of himself.

"You accuse me of being brutal about your feelings... well, you're just as bad," she whispered before turning on her heeling and storming into her dressing room, slamming the door behind her.

0000000

PRESENT:

It was dessert time when Joseph finally had a chance to breathe and relax- he had been socializing at functions like this since the wedding, and he was getting used to it, he was even getting proficient at the social niceties of nights such as these, but now he needed a break- and, after talking for most of the dinner, he was satisfied to sit back and let others take the conversations.

Mia, as usual, was doing wonderfully well down at the end of the table- she had inherited her father and grandmother's considerable charm and, nearly six months into her reign, she was doing well- strong, intelligent, independent, compassionate- and he could see that, when her grandmother finally let go of what had been her job and Mia's relationship with Nicholas was more firmly established, they would go far.

She had been incredibly patient with Clarisse over the past few months, accepting her assistance and agreeably allowing her to accompany her on trips and replace her at occasional meetings, but Joseph could see that she was getting fed up, even coming to see him once, very close to Christmas, while Clarisse attended a meeting she had convinced Mia that SHE should attend.

"Why is she doing this? I DO appreciate what she had been doing, but I'm getting more confident and I want to stand on my own two feet... I'm not complaining, but she's supposed to be enjoying her retirement with you, Joe!" she had cried to Joseph and his heart had ached as he had held the girl, sorry for her.

"It's as if she doesn't believe in me... as if the five past years have been training me up to do this job, but then she suddenly decides she doesn't want me to have it!"

"She has always believed in you, and always will... I think she's having trouble letting go of her job, but she will..."

"I hope so..." Mia said sadly before giving him a penetrating look. "How about you, Joe? How are you handling all this."

"I'm fine," he said with an easy smile- the last thing he wanted Mia to to know that relations between him and Clarisse had been shaky since the end of October, and their arguments were almost constant, exacerbating the growing gulf between them.

They were both throwing themselves into their jobs (although Clarisse had, in one of their worst moments, informed him that he was retired and Shades didn't need him, and he had responded in kind) and while there had been some tender moments between them, things were growing increasingly shaky between them and he was beginning to lose hope- he couldn't fight her independence forever.

"Really... I am... and I am more than sure that she will let go very soon..." he reassured Mia again and her expression lightened, confirming that he had done and said the right thing for at least one person in his life.

"...Isn't that right, Joe?" he suddenly heard Sebastian say and he quickly realized that everyone at the table was looking at him in interest.

"I'm sorry, I missed that..."

"I was just saying that the transition from working full time to retirement can be difficult, but there are benefits... and retirement can give you opportunities to do things that you haven't done- for example, I'm sure you're looking forward to travelling as a civilian, rather than a bodyguard on the job."

"I guess so," Joseph said reluctantly, before noting that Clarisse was watching him carefully and he felt an odd, perverse twinge of mischief take over- he had finally had enough of keeping up the facade...maybe it was time others realized how much strain he and Clarisse were under.

"Although... since I've had a lot of time on my hands, I've been busy helping Scott with upgrading technology and keeping up to date with all the new information..."

"I thought you had officially retired at the wedding?" one guest looked at him with a frown.

"I did... but Scott still needs me on occasion, and I figure that since I have so much time on my hands, I am able to help them... as for the travelling, yes I am looking forward to doing that, but we'll have to see when my wife is available..." he trailed off meaningfully, meeting Clarisse's icy blue glare for a moment.

He was going to be in a lot of trouble once the evening was over and they were alone, but at this moment in time, he didn't care...maybe it was about time they finally had their deep and meaningful discussion about their marriage and... their future...


	6. Make or Break

_A/N: A slightly more depressing chapter, hence it's shorter... these chapters are getting shorter, but things will improve..._

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me_

"Thank you very much!" Clarisse said sharply as she strode angrily into their suite, Joseph trailing behind, and threw her wrap down on her sofa before turning to glare at him. "Now _everyone _knows we're having problems!"

"Are we?" he asked innocently, knowing very well that they not only had problems but that he was enraging her even further. "According to you, we don't... and, if we do, we gloss over them and pretend nothing is wrong. Besides, I'm sure no one really noticed what I said tonight."

"At the very least, we do NOT drop obvious hints to people who are half hoping that we will implode within the first year! And... you must be seriously deluded if you think that people didn't notice what you said at the dinner table... the table was silent!"

"Oh yes, I forgot that we always must consider what everyone is thinking about us," he said sarcastically as he tossed his jacket onto the sofa and walked towards the bar. "Drink?"

"No, and I think you've had enough too," Clarisse hissed and he paused for a moment before shrugging off her concerns and continuing on his way and then sitting back on the sofa while his wife, trembling with rage, stood and watched him.

"So...where's my telling off?" he finally asked nonchalantly and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't you dare..."

"Don't I dare what?" he suddenly looked serious as he leaned forward to look at her, eyes gleaming. "Don't I dare allow the facade to slip a little, show that we're human too and that we're struggling, as everyone else does?"

"_**No one**_ should have known we have problems, it's none of their business!"

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" he turned defensive. "It's not as if you're interested in talking to me..."

"I am, I am, but..."

"But what? But... sadly, our relationship has to come second to the country, as it always has," he said bitterly, and tears of anger and hurt filled her eyes.

"That's not fair!"

"No, it's not fair," he agreed as he stood up, setting his glass down and slowly moving towards her. "I could handle it when you _were_ Queen and our relationship _had_ to be in the shadows, but now..." he sighed heavily and Clarisse immediately took offence.

"You're saying that I'm a bad wife now, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not saying that," he sighed again- this was the discussion he had been waiting for months to have, but it somehow wasn't going as he had expected.

"Then what are you saying?" she asked sharply and he considered her question for a moment.

"Well... and if you will just stay quiet without jumping to conclusions... I'm saying... We DO have problems, Clarisse, and the longer we ignore them, the more damage we're doing to our marriage," he finished softly as he stood in front of her and there was a momentary lull as Clarisse thought about his words before... anger took over again.

"So, this IS my fault, isn't it? Because I made one decision without consulting you; because I've thrown myself into work to help Mia's first weeks and months as Queen a success (and may I remind you that you are also doing more work than you should); and getting angry because our problems were aired in a way that I didn't think was appropriate..."

"Clarisse..." he rolled his eyes almost in disgust, an emotion she had never seen on his face in regards to her, moving away from her slightly. "Please..."

"I'm sorry," she suddenly subsided, still annoyed but also feeling a growing sense of shame. "I don't know WHY I'm behaving like this... I'm just..." she bowed her head and went silent, piquing his interest.

"Just what?" he pressed, again stepping closer to her, fully prepared to pull her towards him- she looked so alone and vulnerable...before Clarisse, feeling pressured and embarrassed (despite his best intentions) looked up again, her eyes blazing.

"Leave me alone!" she shouted, pushing him away. "I don't need this right now!" before she strode towards the bedroom doors- it had been a long night and she wanted sleep, before...

"Sweetheart!" came from behind her and she stopped in her trackes and slowly turned to see her husband watching her from where she had pushed him to- which wasn't very far- halfway across the room from her, his eyes sad.

"What?"

"I...don't... this could be make or break for us if something doesn't change... please, Clarisse, I'm begging you... think about us..." and there was a long, awkward silence before Clarisse lowered her eyes, suddenly ashamed of the pain she was seeing in his eyes and knowing that she had caused it.

"Good night," she said quietly before she glided over to her dressing room and closed the door as, behind her, Joseph slowly stepped into the dark bedroom, feeling tired and suddenly old.

"Another night on the sofa, old man," he murmured to himself he retrieved his pyjamas, his pillow and a blanket from the foot of the bed- he was used to it by now- but still, it was going to be a long, sleepless night...

Little did he know that, behind the dressing room door, Clarisse was on the floor, leaning against the door, her face buried in her wrap, the wrap muffling her sobs from the world...

0

The next morning, Clarisse was awake and up earlier than normal- after yet another argument with Joseph the previous evening (and then the subsequent discovery that he had opted to sleep on the sofa rather than next to her, although, even then, they barely touched each other and hadn't since Christmas), she had realized that they really were in crisis and his comments the evening before, while totally inappropriate, had been a hint for her.

She couldn't believe that they had let it get this far... but the one thing she knew was that she wasn't going to het their marriage go down in flames thus she rose from her bed after a few moments reflection, determined to actually LISTEN to Joseph.

To her disappointment and dismay, the living room was empty, his pillow was sitting on top of hs neatly folded blanket on the sofa and there was no other sign that he had been there- where was he? Surely their marriage wasn't irreparably damaged...last night had been awful but surely he hadn't left her...

It _was_ her fault, she though bitterly as she sank down onto the sofa, her eyes stinging with tears, but before she could fully break down, there was a soft knock on the door and Mia peered around the door.

"Grandma? May I come in?"

"Of course, darling," Clarisse looked away for a moment to brush away a stray tear, before standing and turning to greet her granddaughter. "Good morning, Mia... you're up early!"

"I wanted to get some time on my treadmill this morning... and I wanted to see you."

"Me... why?" Clarisse looked surprised as she sat down at the small table that was set up for her and Joseph's breakfast (they usually preferred to breakfast alone together) and poured herself a cup of tea as Mia sank down on the sofa nearby and glanced at the pillow and blanket sitting beside her.

"Well..." the younger woman suddenly looked awkward and Clarisse suddenly realized she wanted to talk about what happened last night.

"...It's about last night...you and Joe seemed rather... tense... and then that joke that Joe made at dinner..."

"We're fine, dinner, we're fine," Clarisse said firmly, hoping she would convey enough confidence through her words to convince Mia and allow her to stop worrying, but she knew that she hadn't succeed when she saw Mia's eyes narrow in exactly the same way that Phillipe's did when he didn't believe her.

"Come on, Grandma... I don't believe you... what's going on?" Mia asked, realizing immediately she sounded demanding and sharp, and she was expecting an immediate rebuff but, instead, Clarisse's shoulders slumped slightly and her face fell, confirming to Mia that her suspicions has been correct. "Grandma?"

"I don't know," Clarisse sighed heavily, setting her cup back down on it's saucer. "Things haven't been going well lately... actually, not since October, when we went to Paris..."

"Since then?" Mia gasped. "Why on earth didn't you SAY something, or even step back from helping me?"

"I wanted your first weeks and months as Queen to be successful... I wanted your transition to be easier than mine."

"At the expense of your new marriage!"

"Joseph understood...at the time... but somehow... I got more and more involved in the paperwork and all of that... and suddenly... all we seemed to do was argue..." she finished softly, half wishing she wasn't revealing all of this to her grandchild, but the relief was so great, to talk to someone, even if it was 21 year old Mia.

"Oh Grandma," Mia breathed sympathetically as she moved over to the table. "I would have coped...you and Joe cannot break up because of this, you can't!"

"I don't know what we're going to do," Clarisse admitted as tears began to swim in her eyes again at the thought of her and Joseph splitting up, particularly after all they had shared and all that they had had to endure to get to this point...

"We had another argument last night, after what you and everyone else saw, and he said... he said we we were getting close to the point where a fight could make or break us... and I'm so afraid that..." she trailed off, tears closing off her throat as Mia dragged her chair across the carpet and wrapped her arms around Clarisse's shoulders, the older woman relaxing back into them.

"Oh Grandma, I'm so sorry..." and Clarisse had to try extra hard not to dissolve into tears in front of her. "What are you going to do now?"

"Honestly... I don't know..."

"Well, I know that you and Joe are going to have some time away from the palace, away from everything... including me."

"Amelia..." she tried to sound firm, but somehow Clarisse didn't have the energy or the inclination.

"Don't 'Amelia' or 'Mia' me, Your Majesty," Mia wagged a finger at her. "As my... second Royal Decree, you and Joseph are going to have a well deserved holiday from the royal court... and, hopefully, you will find it easier to ease into retirement..." and Clarisse knew, despite her kind words and innocent expression, that Mia too had been suffering from her stubborness and willful independence.

"Oh Mia..."

"No, don't cry," Mia squeezed her grandmother's shoulders again. "I've enjoyed every minute of learning with you, having you accompany me to sessions of parliament and trips and I'm sure you will still help me on occasion... but you have a duty to yourself and Grandpa now..." Mia echoed words that Joseph had said to her nearly seven months earlier, and they again resonated with Clarisse.

"You're right," she said, suddenly feeling emboldened and even more determined than ever to save her marriage. "You are VERY right..." but she couldn't help but feel nervous that Joseph might not want to listen to her... but she wanted to hear what he had to say... she HAD to!


	7. Wise Words

_A/N: Thanks to all my readers and reviewers... you all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries don't belong to me!_

After Mia left- to find Nicholas and initiate a snowball fight involving them, Charlotte, Lily, Kip Kelly and, with some luck, her Uncle Pierre- Clarisse pottered aimlessly around the suite, taking a shower when the maids were cleaning up from breakfast (she didn't need their sympathetic glances when they collected Joseph's unused dishes OR the knowledge that rumours would soon again start spreading around the palace) and being absorbed (or pretending to be) in a book when they brought in her mid morning cup of tea, yet there still was no sign of Joseph, a fact she continued to brood on as the morning progressed and lunchtime was approaching- would he be back then, or would he stay away?

Her lack of knowledge in knowing what he would do was disconcerting, but it was something she had always loved about him- compared to Rupert and the other men she was acquainted with, he was delightfully unpredictable and he had never felt guilty about standing up to her over the years- she had loved it, even when it had annoyed her, and now... she was afraid of what she was going to say, but she knew she had to hear it.

It was almost lunchtime- when they were due to meet Mia, Nicholas and their previous evening's guests for lunch- when Clarisse, who had been trying unsuccessfully to read her book, heard the suite door open and close softly and she immediately turned around to see Joseph standing there, looking remarkably calm and composed... and holding a suitcase in each hand.

"Joseph?" she gasped, suddenly feeling sad and resigned- he had obviously decided that their relationship wasn't worth saving- but before she could say anything, he gave her a slight smile.

"No, my dear, I'm not leaving you," he correctly read her expression and she let out her breath in relief.

"Then why..." she began before he stopped her with a look and she promptly shut her mouth, not wanting to provoke yet another argument.

"I think that it might be... beneficial...if you and I left the palace and the royal court for a few days..." he began hesitantly, wondering if she would fight him on this but he was surprised to discover that she was nodding vigorously.

"Yes, I think so too... only... where would we go? The beach house, while our ultimate destination, would be too cold and..."

"I already have that all figured out," he said calmly as he moved to join her in the middle of the room. "All we need to do is pack and we're on our way."

"So soon?" she gasped and he frowned slightly.

"Do you have a problem with that?" he challenged, not wanting an argument but wanting Clarisse to realize the seriousness of the situation- he didn't want to lose her, but he also didn't want her to feel as though she was trapped in a relationship she didn't want to be in, particularly with someone who wasn't in the same league of a King. "Tell me now if you don't want to go."

"No, I definitely want to go," she said easily, taking one of the suitcases from his hand (and it was from her luggage, she noticed) and headed towards the bedroom, pausing in the doorway to turn and look at him. "Actually..." she began shyly. "Mia as good as kicked us out a couple of hours ago... apparently, she doesn't want to hear from us for at least a week."

"Really?" he was impressed at his granddaughter's ingenuity. "I think Pierre was trying to do the same thing, albeit more tactfully..." he replied, recalling Pierre's gentle probing earlier when they had met in the library.

0

"_Are you and Mother alright?" Pierre began tactfully after a brief discussion on Mia and how they both thought she was going._

"_We're fine...in a way..." Joe replied gruffly, mortified that, despite his brave words the previous evening (maybe he had had too much to drink), everyone did know they were having problems... and he shouldn't have said anything. "I really shouldn't say anything... Clarisse IS your mother..."_

"_Yes, but I am also your stepson and, hopefully, a friend... whatever you say to me won't go any further."_

_I love your mother... it's just that..."_

_"She can be a perfectionist at times... but you have BOTH been working too hard," he looked his stepfather with probing eyes and Joseph realized that HE was just as much at fault as his wife. "I haven't been home too long, Joe, but I have heard things...and I have been looking around, watching...including you two."_

"_Even me?"_

_"Even YOU, Mr Inscruitable Former Head of Security," Pierre teased. "You are especially easy to read whenever you're thinking about my mother or any issues regarding her."_

_"I never realized I was so easy to read," Joe grumbled but he wasn't seriously annoyed._

"_Only when it comes to Mother," Pierre grinned before turning serious. "So, you and her... what's going on? Last night, you both seemed very tense."_

_Joseph sighed heavily, slightly embarrased that Clarisse's own son was inquiring about their marriage, but he somehow didn't seem like a son at this moment in time._

"_We're having a little trouble," he admitted._

"_Most married couples, particularly during the first year of marriage," Pierre looked at him, unsurprised as he sat down on the edge of a nearby chair. _

"_Well, we've been having problems since October, when she decided to go to Paris with Mia."_

_"Yes, that wouldn't have been easy on you... but Amelia did need her then, and I believe she did ask her to go."_

_"Yes, I know- her going didn't bother me, it was that she had made the decision to go without my input... and then after that, everything just escalated," he sighed and looked away from Pierre. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."_

_"It's alright, it's part of what I do," Pierre smiled before he turned sober again. "However, whatever has happened between you and Mama, you need to sort it out... no, don't get defensive on me!" he raised a calming hand to stop Joseph from responding furiously. "_

_Mother has always been independent and strong- I guess she really didn't have any choice, particularly once my father was too sick to make the decisions, so it will take her time to realize that she doesn't have to make all the decisions on her own... but you were just as bad as her, Joe and there have been several times where I have been tempted to bang your heads together! _

_You have had to go through so much to be together, and now that you are, you're letting a few silly issues, your pride and her stubborness destroy what could be a very happy marriage! So, I advise you and Mother to get away from ere and talk out your problems- you two are meant to be together," he finished softly with a warm smile, and Joseph couldn't help but smile sheepishly back._

"_That's what I was planning on doing... and thank you."_

_"Good, then go and pack... it may take my mother a little longer..." he smiled briefly before sobering up again. "But as long as you are both serious about fixing whatever has gone wrong, you can sneak out of here while Mia and I distract the guests... and we're both behind you, as are quite a few people."_

_0_

"Pierre was always wise beyond his years," Clarisse said reflectively, her eyes distant as he stepped closer to her.

"He learned that from you, he said gently as she looked at him with wide eyes. "You are very much alike in a lot of ways, even you thought that he was more like Rupert."

"True, I always thought we were similiar... even though Rupert completely disowned him and didn't allow me to talk about him..."

There was a pause, not antagonistic yet not quite peaceful, between them until he finally spoke up in a much gentler voice that he had used previously.

"So... about this trip of ours... do YOU really want to go? We don't have to if you feel uncomfortable about leaving Mia or don't want to..."

"Let's do it," she said with a slightly shy, timid smile, meeting his eyes directly for a moment before disappearing into the bedroom. "How soon do you want me to be ready?"

"How soon CAN you be ready?" he responded as he followed her into the bedroom with the other case, meaning to be teasing and lighten the mood between them, but he was surprised when she paused to look at him with raw, naked emotion in her eyes.

"As soon as possible... the sooner we get out of here, the better, only..." her expression lightened. "Again, where ARE we going?" and he chuckled.

"Again, you're going have to wait and see."

0

An hour later, after packing, swallowing a quick lunch and saying farewell to Mia and Pierre (who had been chatting together with Mia and Nicholas, and gave each other a triumphant look when they discovered Clarisse and Joseph were leaving), they were on the road, accompanied by another car, heading north and sitting in silence, not touching but they both knew that they were more comfortable with each other than they had been in a long time.

It was only almost an hour into their trip when the cars turned off the main road and began heading down the freshly ploughed track and into the woods and she was puzzling about where they were- they were still on palace grounds- but when she saw a wooden cabin fast approaching in her view, she gasped... it couldn't be...

"Are you alright?" he inquired solicitiously and she took a shaky breath in and let it out slowly before she smiled at him.

"I'm fine... fine... but …..how...?"

"As you pointed out, the beach house is too cold and too exposed, the Winter Palace..." he made a face- once the royal court was gone, members of parliament would stay there for their holidays. "And there aren't too many places we can go where privacy is assured with you around, my darling..."

Clarisse blushed at his words and the almost caress in his voice- it had been so long since he had called her that, in exactly that way, and she had missed it.

"...so, this was the closest, most convenient, most likely place where we could enjoy some privacy... unless you don't want to stay, which I understand completely."

"No, no, I want to stay... it's just that there's so many memories here..." her eyes filled with tears- this was the place where Pierre had wrestled with his decision to stay or not to stay to become King; where Phillipe had been returning from on that fateful day in April; and where, after she had decided to leave Rupert for a week after he had yet again cheated on her (and the newspapers were plastering the news on the front pages of all the papers), she and Joseph had spent a week talking by the fire and playing chess, before eventually declaring their love for each other., as well as the other, occasional times when they had visited for the day...

It was Joseph's own personal property, his retreat when he went on his rare vacations, but he had generously allowed the royal family to use it when necessary... and now they were there to repair their fractured marriage.

"Clarisse," he regarded her gently as the car came to a stop. "We don't have to stay."

"I WANT to!" she cried, a solitary tear rolling down her cheek as she met his eyes. "You know how important this place is to me, and how many memories have come from this place... is that why you wanted to come here?"

"Yes," he said finally, softly, his head bowed. "I don't want to pressure you, I never have, but you were always more comfortable here than anywhere else...I know this is where Pierre wrestled with his conscience, where Phillipe spent his last days and where we... we began our own love story,, but I thought...it was simple, it's away from the rest of the world (aside from our ever present guards) and it's _**ours**_..." he emphasised that word strongly. "However, if this place makes you too sad..."

"NO!" Clarisse shook her head and reached over to grab his hand. "Her is perfect... this is yours..."

"Ours," he corrected.

"Our little place... it's so isolated and private... just seeing this place has reminded me of just how much we, the Renaldis, owe you."

"You don't owe me anything," he said quickly. "It had been my pleasure to have MY home considered a haven or refuge for your family... I very rarely used it, but I'm glad that others could... and now, hopefully, we will be able to use it as our own getaway."

"But this isn't just a simple getaway, is it Joseph?"

"No," he agreed. "But, it also isn't a refuge from an angry, cheating husband."

"Then what is it?" she challenged him, but instead of being exasperated at yet agains she had jumped to conclusions, he looked at her, unperturbed, his gaze almost caressing her all over.

"It's... it's a place where Joseph and Clarisse can get to know each other again and, hopefully, fall in love with each other again," he said simply and her eyes again filled with tears before he leaned over and kissed her briefly. "That's a good enough reason for being here, isn't it?"

She nodded dumbly, more than slightly overwhelmed at her emotions, the memories seeing the cabin had evoked and the fact that they were finally alone together again (as well as the fact that he had kissed her) before he squeezed her hand, reminding of her of where they were- and that there was another snow fall outside the car, cooling the atmosphere in the silent car.

"Come on, sweetheart," he said in a gentle voice as she (despite what she had said about Queens never sliding), slid over the seat towards him, the icy wind from his open door reminding her of where they were. "Let's go inside... there's a roaring fire waiting for us and, after some tea, we can talk."

"We can?" she croaked.

"We can," he affirmed, brown eyes on blue and they both suddenly felt a twinge of hope- maybe, possibly, things WOULD work out for them and they could make it through this rocky patch... neither of them could bear the thought of the alternative...


	8. Memories and Pain Part One

_A/N: Still slightly depressing, but things will slowly get better... it has to, it's C and J, our fave couple!_

_A huge THANK YOU to all my loyal readers and reviewers, both signed and anonymous, and you all rock! It's people like you that make writing so worthwhile!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

As Joseph as predicted, the large main room of the cabin was warm, cozy and comfortable, in most part due to the large fire roaring in the fireplace (someone had obviously been here earlier, preparing for their arrival, Clarisse surmised) and Clarisse could feel herself thawing out almost as soon as she stepped into the room, Joseph behind her with their luggage.

It was only mid afternoon, but was already getting dark outside, possibly because of the snowfall, and once he had set their suitcases down, Joseph switched on a light and the room was suddenly illuminated.

"Why don't you sit down by the fire and I'll organize a cup of tea?" he suggested, gently pushing her towards the large comfortable looking sofa, a blanket slung over the back, and she nodded again, almost dumbly and she did just that, shrugging off her heavy winter coat as sh elooked around the room, refamiliarizing herself with their retreat.

It was only a simple place, as compared to the palace or the beach house, but it was perfect for now, and she had always loved this place- Joseph had been smart to have this house away from the royal court and the royal properties and she felt touched that he had been willingly and generously lent his house to them- specifically, her sons and herself.

The room and house was generally basic ('why would I need to fully equip this place when I'm usually with the royal family?" Joseph had joked on their first visit there over ten years earlier)- the kitchen had all the modern amenities and was only separated from the rest of the open plan room with a long, wooden bench; the bedroom and bathroom were on the opposite side of the room to the kitchen; the fireplace, couch and two other chairs and other wooden furniture (such as the coffee table, table and chairs and the desk, as well as the polished wooden floors) were the main features of the room, but there were other features that softened the room- the bookshelves containing books and DVDs that lined the room, as well as the framed landscapeds, the large television and DVD player resting on a table near the fireplace, adjacent to the plugs, the cushions on the sofa...and several framed pictures of the boys and them...

The closest one sitting on the coffee table being of them on their wedding day, newly married and so happy... obviously someone wanted them to succeed as they put the picture there, reminding of them of what they could be...

How had things gone so wrong between them in the last six months, she wondered to herself although she knew that she had contributed to their problems greatly...

"Here," he suddenly heard his voice and she turned to see him sitting down next to her, two mugs in his hands, one of them heading towards her.

"Thank you," she said with a small smile, accepting the mug, the heat exuding from the mug instantly warming her hands.

"You looked thoughtful... what were you thinking about?"

"I was just reaquainting myself with this place."

"Are you sure you're happy with staying here?" Joseph inquired solicitiously and she smiled- even when he was unhappy with her, he was always so caring and interested in her problems.

"I'm fine... besides, here is perfect for us... only, where are our security team is staying?"

"Nearby... somehwere where they've stayed before... I suppose this place is different to when you were last here?"

"Only a little," she admitted. "Still, I love this place for how you've done it and I hope it never changes..."

"It won't... not unless you want something changed," he said simply and she blushed.

"I also love this place for not only what it represents to us, but what it represents to me, to my sons... here, Pierre chose to give up his right to the throne... and here, Phillipe spent the last days of his life..."

"Yes he did."

"By the way, how was the cabin after Phillipe and his friends were here?" she sounded momentarily amused and Joseph smiled- they both remembered how untidy Phillipe could be, and how crazy he and his friends could be when they were away from the palace.

"They were reasonably tidy and they DID clean up after themselves... but the state of the cabin didn't bother me as much after what happened once they left there..." he trailed off as they both remembered that day and what had happened...

"It was one of the worst nights of my life," she murmured inaudibly. "No parent should ever have to bury a child..."

"No, no parent should have to do that..." he agreed quietly, while also remembering the stricken look on her face when he had informed her of Phillipe's death- THAT had been the worst moment of his life, he had feared that he would lose her to grief and heartbreak... and there was a long sombre silence as they both stared into the fire for a time, lost in their own thoughts about the accident and what had let up to it...

_0000000_

"_Are you really sure you're alright with Phillipe and his friends spending a few days at the cabin?" Clarisse asked as she and Joseph strolled around the garden on a sunny, unusually warm April morning, her morning schedule just about to begin and Phillipe alright preparing for his break away. _

_It had been a trying few months, if not a few years- Phillipe, after Pierre's stepping aside, his recovery from his divorce from the American he had fallen for and Rupert's death, had finally accepted his future destiny as the King of Genovia and his associated duties and responsibilities and the coronation had been scheduled for July._

_Before then, Phillipe had been learning and studying non stop, including accompanying his mother to meetings and sessions of parliament with interest, if not yet enthusiasm, and he was gradually gaining more confidence and interest- in fact, he was working so hard that Clarisse, fearful of him burning himself out before he even ascended the throne, insisted that he have a break for at least a few days- April was a fairly easy, relaxed month in Genovian politics, and he had agreed, although he had been a little concerned about her._

"_Are YOU sure it's alright for me to do this?" he had asked, looking relieved yet a little wary._

"_I'm still capable of running a country, thnk you very much!" she had laughed at him. "I have done it for a quite a while, even before your father was seriously ill."_

_"And you've done an amazing job," Phillipe looked unusually serious for a moment and Clarisse felt a little embarrassed before she decided to change the subject._

"_So... where will you be spending your break- at the beach?"_

_"I don't know yet," he frowned pensively. "I'll have to see..." _

_She had been expecting him to go to the beach, but Clarisse was surprised when he announced, only hours later, that he was going to stay at Joseph's cabin, an hour away from the Winter Palace in Lybitt but she wasn't surprised when she discovered that Joseph had generously offered the place as an alternative to the beach._

"_I'm quite sure," Joseph said calmly, bringing her back to the present. "Phillipe and his friends are more than welcome to use my place... it's good that it's being used since I barely have time to."_

_"Are you saying that you don't get enough time off?" she turned to him with a disapproving expression, but he could see, but the twinkle in her eye, that she was teasing him. "Would you like a couple of days break when Phillipe does, so you can accompany him?"_

_"I'd love it," he growled as he turned her to face him and ran his hands up and down her arms. "...If you could come with me..." he paused as Clarisse let out her breathe- the affect he had on her was unbelievable, before he took one of her hands in his and kissed it. "However, since you are not inclined to have a vacaction, I'm not eager to have one either, so I'll be staying here... and Phillipe will have a good time, although it's a bit isolated from the Winter Palace or Lybitt..._

"_Which is exactly what he needs," she said firmly, convinced that the break was what Phillipe needed. "Thank you for your offer, Joseph, it will do him good," she smiled warmly at him and he felt happy, relieved that he had done the right thing..._

_0000000_

"You have no idea how guilty I felt afterwards," he suddenly admitted hoarsely, still looking in the fire and remaining resolutely so as he felt her turn in her seat to look at him.

"I wish... wished... wish that I had never suggested him going there... the roads were too slippery after that rainfall, the beach house was more accessible to everything...I wish..."

Clarisse was horrified and sad that he blamed himself for Phillipe's accident- she herself had spent many months (and even years) convincing herself that it HADN'T been her fault (after all, she had been the one who had suggested he take the break) and Joseph had been part of that recovery process... and now he was revealing his own guilt...

"Why didn't you tell me?" she finally asked and he finally summoned up the courage to look at her, her expression neutral.

"I didn't want you to suffer any more... you already blamed yourself and we both knew that it wasn't your fault."

"Yet you continued to feel guilty for something that you told ME was an accident..." she said bitterly and he could sense her annoyance.

"Are you annoyed that I didn't tell you at the time... I was trying to protect you."

"Yes, I'm a little annoyed that you didn't tell me...not only because you were trying to blame yourself when, like you said, we both knew it was an accident, but because... because I opened my heart to you and now I discover that you witheld the truth about your feelings from me... you lied to me, and have probably been lying to me all this time!"

"I have NOT been lying to you all this time," he shifted a little further away from her, his own expression even- he had confessed his true feelings about a very painful time in their lives, and now she was taking it the wrong way. "I just chose not to tell you then because you were already in so much pain and I didn't want to add to it..."

"You just decided to store it away until you could make me feel guilty."

"No, I didn't... I very much wanted to tell you long before this but there was never a chance... and I would appreciate it if you didn't continue to jump to conclusions every time I open my mouth," he added with a tinge of sharpness in his voice and, instantly, the atmosphere, which had been cozy and somewhat thawed, changed back to icy as, her cheeks reddened in offense, she stiffened and looked back into the fire, sipping her tea and Joseph mentally hit himself- everything had been fine until then... she had been finally opening up... and then he had to open his big mouth...

"I'm sorry," she suddenly said, surprising him. "I didn't mean to then, and I haven't meant to do it all this time... and I'm sure there have been plenty of times in the past couple of months..."

"Why do you do it?" he asked gently, not wanting to probe as he suspected her answer, but wanting to hear it from her anyway.

"I don't know," she sighed, continuing to look into the fire as he watched her. "I don't mean to, I never have, quite honestly, but... I guess I've been on the defensive for so long, having to look after myself personally and professionally and prove that I was worth being Queen that us... officially and legally... has been an adjustment to me."

"You had to adjust to me?" he queried, feeling hurt.

"As my husband," she said honestly. "As my HOS, I trusted you with my entire life, I got to know you professionally before we became friends, and I knew that your job was to protect me."

"And you feel that my job now, as your husband, isn't the same? That my role is to protect and love you- not as Queen, not as a job that I'm paid to do, but as my wife?"  
"I... I …."  
"Please tell me," he urged, hurt but still wanting to hear everything- in some ways, Clarisse was still so closed off (and the last few months hasn't helped her evolve) and he was hoping that, eventually, the barriers would crumble and she would really, truly trust him.

"It's hard to let anyone into my private life, considering what happened in my previous marriage..." she finally admitted, looking at him with clear eyes.

"It's not that I don't trust you, I do, but there's till a part of me that doesn't trust anyone... I was scared about how much I would change with you, that that was why I threw myself into work again, availing myself to Mia whenever she needed... I wasn't sure how I would be when I finally opened myself up to you and...I'm still not sure..."

There was a long, awkward silence between the two of them, before Clarisse moved closer, her eyes welling with tears- he looked so hurt and so angry, she had never meant for that to happen...

"Joseph? Please talk to me?" she held out a beseeching hand to his- now that she had said the words, she felt much better and much less angry... maybe she could let go and allow Joseph to see everything about her... but she was dismayed when he gently pushed her hand away and stood up.

"I really should see if there is enough wood for the next day or so before the boys leave," he said softly as he set his cup down, reached for his coat and headed towards the door.

"Joseph?" she stood up and watched him leave, and he whirled around to look at her, his eyes angry and wet.

"I can't talk to you right now, _Your Majesty_...I need some time to myself, to think about whether I trust you too...thank you very much for telling me how you really feel..." he snapped before he stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him, leaving Clarisse feeling worse than ever...


	9. Memories and Pain Part Two

_A/N: FINALLY, a tiny ray of hope... here's hoping that it lasts!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers, both signed and anonymous... I'm so glad you're reading the story and enjoying it... _

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

As Joseph had suspected, the boys had left the woodbox at the side of the house completely full of wood- he knew that they wouldn't leave them there without wood- but it was an excuse to get out of the cabin and away from Clarisse, something he had only felt one other time in his life- when he had felt that she had turned him down in the ballroom... but this was different.

Her confession that she was still adjusting to him as her husband and as part of her private life and, as such, was having trouble completely trusting him, had completely thrown him and now he didn't know how to think or feel... how could he _possibly _even look at her again after that, let alone touch her, kiss her or even make love to her if she didn't trust him in that way, as her husband?

It hurt him to realize that she didn't completely trust him, especially after all the years they had had a professional relationship, a relationship that had deepened and evolved over the years, culminating in their marriage, and he hated that realization... yet, there was a small, more reasonable side of him that reminded him that her trust issues _were _justified- her parents had pushed her into an arranged marriage, Rupert had hardly been the ideal husband and almost every other man she had come across had lusted after her or had treated her as if she didn't have any brains.

He had probably one of the few men- aside from her sons- who had treated her as a human being, a woman apart from her title and responsibilities, with needs, feelings and thoughts that were to be respected.

Her job made her the loneliest woman in the country- he had seen the loneliness and sadness in her eyes on more than one occasion- but he had hoped that he would have been able to help her with that when they were married, but now they were both trapped in their own worlds of loneliness and sadness... and it was definitely not what he had imagined when had married her... or before that, when he had first realized he had loved her... she had, at least, trusted him then...

Where had that trust gone, he railed silently to himself as he leant against the woodbox and stared blankly out into the snow covered forest? Surely, it wasn't that big a jump from HOS to husband- as he had pointed out, both of those roles entailed protecting her and caring about her, the only difference being that, as her Head of Security, it was a job that he was paid to do; as her husband, it was something he wanted to do (not that he hadn't wanted to do it while he was her HOS), and took as part of his wedding vows but now, after her confession, he wasn't sure he wanted to do that anymore...

_Don't be ridiculous,_ he silently and sternly told himself, _he would ALWAYS want to protect and cherish Clarisse... it was just that he didn't feel particularly keen to do that at this point in time..._

He suddenly became aware of the fact that the temperature was dropping quite quickly, and while he didn't necessarily want to look Clarisse in the eye at the moment, Joseph also knew that he didn't want to freeze to death outside when there was a roaring fire inside, so he hurried back around to the door he had hastily exited from only minutes before and stepped back inside.

To his surprise, the room was empty- the only signs of life or that anyone had been there were the two empty mugs on the coffee table- and despite his anger and disappointment in Clarisse, he was wondering where she was, although there were only a few places she could be... and he hadn't seen footprints outside...

"Clarisse?" he called somewhat tentatively and the word echoed around the room a second or two before a door opened close by and out of the corner of his eye, he saw her in the doorway of the bedroom.

"I was just unpacking," she explained before stepping further into the room and he could see that she had been crying. "Joseph..."

"I really don't want to talk about this now," he said gruffly as he shrugged off his coat and hung it up on the nearby coat stand. "Maybe later..." he added before starting towards the kitchen- it was probably time to start dinner- before she suddenly spoke up.

"You wanted to talk to me before, what's changed?"

"You know what's changed and why," he said coolly, turning to face her.

"I know you asked me to tell you the truth," she said with a touch of belligerence in her voice and posture. "And now I'm being punished for it."

"I'm not punishing you... I just need a little time to process what you said."

"I am trying, Joseph... I DO trust you very, very much..."

"Yet not enough," he said bitterly.

"Joseph... if I didn't love you or trust you, I wouldn't have told you my deepest, darkest thoughts... I'm ashamed of what I was feeling, but you did want to know."

"Are you sure that my feelings of hurt and inadequacy are my fault?" he snapped, outraged.

"No, I'm not," she said bravely, stepping back a little as if afraid of his anger. "You asked for honesty, I gave it to you... I opened myself up to you, as you have been wanting me to do since our honeymoon... and you..." her eyes began glittering with anger. "...You have the gall to walk out on me- AGAIN- without allowing me the chance to explain!"

"Oh, you had to bring that up again," he muttered disgustedly- only, this disgust was aimed at himself.

"Yes, I did," she said defiantly before her expression softened. "Joseph... darling... please, let's not fight anymore..." her voice quietened down to almost a whisper and Joseph himself felt guilty that he had again started yet another fight but was still nevertheless upset with her, sighed heavily.

"You're right... we've got a week or so to sort out our problems."

"Do you think our problems are fixable?" she asked, her eyes bright with tears and he considered her question for a moment before responding.

"I do... do you?" he gave her a long, probing look.

"I do... very much," she affirmed, eager for him to know how serious she was about this, and he looked at her a moment longer before he glanced at his watch.

"It's time for me to make a move if we're going to have dinner before midnight," he said briskly, continuing towards the kitchen before...

"Do you need any help?"

"No thank you, I'm alright for now..." before he paused and turned towards her, his eyes twinkling slightly. "Although... the table may need setting soon enough..." and, for a split second, they made a connection, a connection that made them both realize how much they had had togther and what they could be again...

0

Dinner preparations and the meal itself were silent affairs, the television blaring the only noise in the cabin, but neither of them dared speak a world- their relationship was now even more fragile after that afternoon's altercation and they were both aware of it, but neither of them were quite sure what to do or say- Joseph was still hurt and angry and Clarisse was bewildered, relieved that she had told him yet also angry and hurt herself.

"I wonder if all those parliamentarians have gone home yet?" she finally spoke up and he shrugged.

"Hopefully they have, although I doubt it- most of parliament like taking as many liberties as possible... I know you're far more generous with them that Rupert would have been."

"Not necessarily... they used to have free, unlimited access to both palaces (aside from our private quarters) and they all made themselves at home quite wello, especially Arthur Mabrey... however, once Rupert became ill, I curtailed everything aside from a week each (and several of them going at the same time) year at the Winter Palace... I'm surprised you don't remember when that happened? There was such an outcry that I was a little afraid that they were going to start a revolution against me!"

"Oh yes, now I do," he frowned pensively before he looked up at her with a small smile. "But you didn't back down in the slightest."

"Just because I'm a woman, it didn't mean that I couldn't be stern and unbendable when I had to be."  
"I always admired that about you- you never gave in."

"How could I, when I had people who believed in me and WOULDN'T let me give up" she said softly and their eyes met and held for a long moment before he grinned, such a broad, happy grin that she hadn't seen in a long time. "What?"

"I just remembered... Phillipe used to tell me that sometimes he didn't dare try and charm you for something because he knew it was wrong and you would say so... remember the time he wanted that motorbike?"

"Of course," she replied with a wry smile. "He was 17, and while Rupert agreed in principle, he told him that I had the ultimate say so..."

"And, of course, you said no and he..."

"Threw a fit, as he usually did at the age... and then wouldn't speak to me for a week."

"But you never gave in," Joseph grinned as his hand crept over the table to rest on top of hers. "And he eventually realized that you were probably right..."

"Thankfully he realized that a motorbike for him, wouldn't have been appropriate or safe... I hated denying him or Pierre anything that other boys had... they already had a hard enough time being Princes..."

"Your consideration of their feelings and needs, as well as your justified concerns about other things, is what made you a wonderful mother... and grandmother..." he said softly and she looked away, a tear sliding down her cheek.

"But not wife," she whispered and he took the opportunity to squeeze her hand, bringing her attention back to him.

"I wouldn't say that at all," he said firmly. "Things may be rocky between us at th emoment... thanks to both of us,"he added hastily, seeing her open her mouth to blame herself.

"But every marriage goes through rough patches, we both know that...but we can work it out- I've waited too long to be with you to give us up... I know that, I hope you know that too... and Pierre told me that I would never want to give this up."

"He's a wise man," Clarisse smiled proudly at the thought of her eldest son. "I am truly relieved that he found the life he was born to lead- he never really wanted to be King and I think- with no disrespect to Pierre- if his father had forced him onto the throne after him, he wouldn't have coped..."

"I really felt sorry for him during that time... he was under so much pressure from everyone- except you, of course- and we were both so worried."

"Rupert was more worried about his precious throne," Clarisse said bitterly, but Joseph felt more reasonable towards the man- although he had never approved of the way he treated his wife.

"Which was understandable, considering the Von Trokans and Arthur Mabrey were breathing down on his neck."

"Maybe so, but Pierre was his OWN son!" she argued. "What kind of man would disown his own child for wanting to follow his own dreams?"

She would never forgive him for that... she could still remember how anguished Pierre had been when he had had to make that decision over fifteen years earlier...

_0000000_

_The atmosphere in the palace was tense, almost poisonous- it was almost as if there was a black cloud hanging over the palace, everyone could feel it, and they all knew why- Crown Prince Pierre was wavering in his commitment to his destiny and future role as the King of Genovia, and his father, the current King, was furious abut his indecisiveness and had made his feelings perfectly clear to everyone through his words and actions, even when he hadn't meant to._

_The Queen, on the other hand, remained almost unperturbed, and was so calm that no one really knew how she felt on the issue- except her loyal HOS Joseph, who was close enough to ask her during the trouble._

"_How DO you feel about all of this?"_

_She sighed as she sat back in her chair and looked away for a moment before looking back at him with a resolute expression in her eyes- she had yet to make any official statements (although Rupert knew how she felt, hence his constant rage) but she knew she could trust Joseph with this..._

"_He is my son, I will always stand by him... nothing else matters to me... whatever he decides, I will always love him."_

_"I knew you would say that," he smiled at her approvingly and she suddenly felt herself blushing at his approbation as they shared a long look, broken only by a timid knock on the door, the door opening on Clarisse's words, followed by Pierre stepping almost shyly into the room._

"_Mother? Oh, sorry Joe, I didn't mean to disturb you..."_

_"You aren't darling, come in, come in..." Clarisse stood up from her desk and walked around, her eyes focused on her son._

"_If you'll excuse me," Joseph began as he started toward the door- he didn't need to be here for this- but Pierre stopped him with a look._

"_No, don't go Joe... please stay- Mother will tell you later anyway... (at that, both Joseph and Clarisse blushed) "...so you might as well stay, although I don't have anything important to say."_

_"How are you?" Clarise asked immediately once she was standing near him and Pierre sighed, running a hand through his hair and looked tireder than either of them had seen him before. _

"_Tired..." before he began to pace his study almost frantically. "I don't know what to do, Mama... Father is always glaring at me when I see him, and everyone in the palace is gossiping, I know they are," he sounded so anguished that the two older adults glanced at each other as he paced, both distraught at how upset he was and so pressured- the atmosphere definitely wasn't helping anything- before Joseph suddenly blurted out:_

_"Stay at the cabin for a few days..." he trailed off momentarily as both Clarisse and Pierre froze as they turned towards him, before he took a deep breath in, ready to state his case. "It makes sense," he continued. "You will be away from everyone and everything here and you will be able to think more clearly without everyone else trying to help you... and, for what its worth, I will stand by you, not matter what, just as your mother would," he finished almost defiantly, not sure he said the right thing, but he wanted Pierre to know that he was supported._

_There was a long silence before Pierre's expression lightened, looking younger than he had moments earlier, and he said one word:_

_"Really?"_

_"Really?" Joseph affirmed. "Give me an hour and you'll be ready to go... and your boys will not disturb you in any way while you're out there... they'll stay at a farmhouse only a few kilometres down the road, so you know where they are."_

_"Thank you," Pierre said in a choked up voice, reaching out and shaking his hand. "Thank you so much..." before, after exchanging a glance with his mother, he strode out of the room, suddenly a different man, and there was again another silence once he had gone as Joseph avoided her eyes before he sensed her near him and then felt his face was guided towards hers._

"_Thank you," she whispered when their eyes met, her eyes shimmering with tears. "Thank you so much."_

_0000000_

"You were always looking out for my boys," she reflected softly over dessert.

"They were good as my own," he said honestly and they both knew it to be true, although it was something neither of them admitted. "Tea?"

The rest of the evening passed quietly as, after washing up, Joseph and Clarisse sat in front of the fire, watching television, both drained by the events of the day- their trip there, Clarisse's confession and subsequent fight, their memories and the fragile truce they had just reforged- and they were both still silent when they retired for the evening in the chilly bedroom, keen for a good night's sleep.

However, while they remained somewhat distant from each other in bed (a habit that had unfortunately become part of their nightly rituals) after the lights had gone off and they had said good night to each other, Clarisse, lying on her side, away from him, couldn't help but blink back a few tears when she felt him move closer to her and, seconds later, felt a warm strong arm wrap itself around her waist... there was hope...there was always hope, however fragile...


	10. A Ruined Moment

_A/N: sorry haven't updated soon, life stepped in again but here's a short chapter... still depressing but there is a light at the end of the tunnel... things WILL get better!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

The next morning, Clarisse awoke feeling slightly happier than she had been in months, and while she was vaguely disoriented for a moment, she quickly remembered that she was in the bedroom of Joseph's cabin (which was fairly isolated and far away from Lybitt and the Winter Palace) and that they (naturally it was they, as she knew Joseph was there with her- as if he would let her go anywhere alone, she thought with a sly smile) were there to work out their marriage- and her smile quickly disappeared at that thought.

It was only six months since the wedding, but they had already had so many hiccups, so many headaches, hurts and fights, so many that she had begun to think that they would never forgive each other or solidify their marriage- yesterday's almost deal breaking argument had only weakened their relationship even more- but she also knew that he was just as determined to save their marriage...

"_Do you think our problems are fixable?"_

_"I do... do you?"_

_"I do... very, very much."_

…. and then they had bonded again over their memories of Pierre and Phillipe, which had led to him snuggling up to her in bed that night, which had signalled hope, hope that things could work out...

Embolded by the thought of yesterday and the hope it had begun to inspire, she turned over with hopes to greet her husband but, to Clarisse's surprise, he wasn't there... and he wasn't in the doorway, bringing in a cup of tea (not that he had done that in months, not that she blamed him)

"Joseph?" she called as she sat up, covering herself with blankets as the room was freezing and, after a moment, she heard him respond from the room beyond, a little muffled, and she quickly wrapped herself in her robe and slippers and hurried into the next room where she discovered... the fire roaring, the television on and Joseph already at the table eating breakfast and watching the television! That had almost never happened, aside from times when either of them had had an early meeting, but now...before she swallowed her disappointment and gave him a bright smile.

"Good morning!" she said brightly and he turned his eyes towards hers for a moment and his expression softened.

"Good morning... I have your tea here," he waved over the table where he was sitting, and where she could see a teapot and cup and saucer.

"But breakfast is whatever you want..." he waved casually towards the cereal boxes and toaster sitting on the counter. "Our bodyguards will be bringing our shopping in later, with our various needs, wants and whims..." he drawled almost sarcasticallly and her cheeks felt hot for a moment in humiliation- he was pretending yesterday and last night hadn't happened- before she again buried her anguish and strolled towards the toaster.

"Toast will be fine for me, I'm not particularly hungry this morning," she said matter of factly, pretending that his casual attitude didn't bother her, before she made her toast (almost half hoping that he was creep up behidn her and embrace her but, since he didn't, she prepared her breakfast quickly) and sat down opposite him. He regarded her for a moment- Clarisse, feeling self conscious, focused on her toast-before he turned his attention back to the television and the meal progressed in silence.

It was only after they had finished their respective coffee and tea when Clarisse was suddenly struck with an idea and she immediately blurted it out.

"I'm going for a walk after breakfast," and the announcement surprised her just as it did Joseph.

"What? Where? Why?"

"I'm just going for a short walk," she repeated calmly. "I just want to step out into the forest for a breath of fresh air- I feel as though I've been stuck in stuffy buildings and palaces for the past month."

"Did you want me to come with yout?" he asked, confident that she would say yes, but she surprised him with her next words.

"No thank you," she smiled sweetly at him. "You're not my bodyguard nor my head of security anymore," she chided him gently but also with a sting in her words. "I'm perfectly capable of going on a brief stroll on my own... besides," she added gaily as she reose from the table and took her empty plate, cup and saucer to the sink. " You have to be here when our bodyguards arrive with our shopping."

"But... but..." he stammered, very much taken aback at the split second decision she had made and also feeling a little guilty- yes, he had been acting distant towards her this morning, not because he really, really wanted to, but a part of him didn't trus her at the moment, as well as the fact that they had been practically doing this for the past few months, but he hadn't wanted to push her away THIS far.

"I'll be fine," she said glibly as she headed towards the bedroom- she could see her spontaneous decision was bothering him but, in an odd perverse way, she liked seeing him squirm, seeing him struggle between the indifference he had adopted over the past months and the protective instincts he had always felt around her, an instinct he usually acting upon but, in this instance, wasn't...

"I'll be back before you know it," she said semi comfortingly once she had re-emerged, fully dressed up for her walk in the snow. "I just need some air... but I'll be back," she patted his shoulder briefly before floating out of the room, ignoring the scowl on his face- was she really playing mind games with him?

0

Five minutes passed since she had left... Joseph was still sitting on the sofa, breakfast cleaned up and his eyes glued to the screen, but he was on the alert, constantly listening for her- surely she wouldn't go too far... and he comforted himself by ensuring that she had taken her winter coat with her...

Ten minutes after she had left... he suddenly found himself pacing the room, tv still on but he wasn't paying attention to it at all, wondering where she was... surely she couldn't have gone too far...

Fifteen minutes after Clarisse had gone for her walk, he was fully dressed and out the door, furious at her and himself- she had wanted to prove her independence, disguising her distress at his indifference to her; and he had wanted to pretend to be indifferent, to disguise the fact that he still loved and cared about her desperately, despite their argument and mini cold war.

"CLARISSE!" he shouted almost as soon as he stepped out into the snow- there had been another snow fall over night- and shivered momentarily, his body adjusting to the drop in temperature, before it adjusted and he strode confidently in the direction her footsteps were headed, his footsteps crunching through the crisp fresh snow.

"CLARISSE!" he shouted again as the cabin disappeared behind a grove of trees and he increased his speed as he got deeper into the forest- it had snowed, it was cold, they weren't as young as they used to be... he couldn't bear thinking about the consequences of this...

"I'm here!" he heard her call back and he looked around to see his wife calmly walking back towards him from the east. "I told you I would be back soon."

"It wasn't soon enough!" he said in irritation and her expression changed from one of bewilderment to one of annoyance.

"I TOLD you I would be back, and I would be... see, I was heading back now... you weren't particularly interested when I told you where I was going earlier!"

"Not true, not true!" he argued heatedly, relief at finding her safe and sound fiercely fighting against his angery. "You KNOW I don't like you going anywhere alone!" he suddenly shouted.

"I KNOW that you're no longer my bodyguard so you don't have to remain in that role!" she almost screamed back at him. "You're my husband, not my HOS!"

"Which means that I take protecting you even more seriously... and that includes not letting you go for walks alone!" he snapped, softening his voice- he had never meant to should at his wife andhe now felt awful.

"Oh ho, ho... well, I thought you didn't mind me going this morning!"

"I changed my mind... actually, I wasn't all that pleased but you were out the door before I had a chance to say anything!" he snapped back before they stood and stared at each other for a moment, breathing heavily from their brief, heated words and the atmosphere, before Joseph, feeling guilty, held out a hand.

"I'm glad I found you, though... let's go back..." but she snatched back her hand at his words.

"I'll go back when I'm good and ready!" she almost growled, her eyes sparkling angrily before her husband, still angry at both of them, suddenly, roughly pulled her into his arms and crushed his lips down on hers and kissed her with so much fury, passion and roughness that she momentarily struggled against him before, overwhelmed by her own feelings ofanger, desire and passion, she relaxed into him, kissing him back with just as much fervour as he was giving her.

Neither of them could remember the journey back to the cabin, only briefly pausing on occasion when they stopped to kiss again- but once the front door closed behind Joseph, he almost slammed her back against it, his lips still on hers, his hands exploring- namely, unbuttoning her clothes and run his hands down her smooth skin.

"You are so... beautiful..." he murmured huskily as he tossed her blouse aside. "I've always felt that you were, and you are..."

"Even when we haven't been speaking?" she teased throatily as she skillfully unbuttoned his flannel shirt and tossed it aside- they hadn't done this in so long...

"Even then," he responded playfully before he guided her towards the sofa and the fireplace, still pausing occasionally to kiss and touch each other.

"The bedroom?"

"Too cold," he murmured before he gently pushed her down onto the couch and, after shedding the rest of his close, crawled on top of her as she lay back, resplendent in only her undergarments, feeling vaguely self conscious- they hadn't done this in a long time (even the time at Christmas has been perfunctory, reminding her of the times with Rupert) but he gave her a long, loving look as he gazed down at her and she finally let go of her inhibitions and anger, a sensation that was almost immediately intensified as he leaned down to meet her lips again...

0

It was a long time before they recovered sufficiently enough to break away from each, and Joseph solicitiously reached for a blanket as she shivered.

"Are you cold?" he asked and she shook her head.

"No... I just can't believe... us, here in front of the fire..." she trailed off as the expression on his face changed from soft and tender to one of hardness and regret.

"We shouldn't have done this," he said stiffly as he stood up and groped around for his trousers. "It was a mistake."

"It was a _mistake _for us to make love? We are supposed to be husband and wife!" she argued, successfully hiding her disappointment and mortification at his words.

"Not like this, not when we haven't had a chance to have a proper conversation about our problems..."

"Mainly because you've been too busy storming out when I tell you the truth about my feelings, and then subsequently pretending that the connection we shared last night didn't happen... before, after saying it was fine for me to go for a walk..."

"You didn't give me a chance to say otherwise!"

"... and then you come after me and shout at me... how were we supposed to have a decent conversation when you've been running so hot and cold?"

Before he could furiously protest (although, deep down, he knew she was right), there was knock on the door and they both froze, both well aware of the situation they were currently in.

_Who could that be?_ Clarisse thought to herself as she pulled the blanket around herself... hopefully it wasn't anyone sinister or wanting to invade their privacy...


	11. Breakthrough Part One

_A/N: FINALLY, a little light relief... hopefully things are going to be on the up and up from now on! J and C cannot live unhappily ever after!  
Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

They both remained frozen in postion- Clarisse on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around her, Joseph standing above her, clad only in his jeans- before whoever was at the door knocked again, and then spoke:

"Joe? Boss, it's Matt and Mike... we've brought your supplies..." and the two occupants in the room relaxed somewhat at the sound of the familiar voices- thankfully, no one else had discovered their hideaway- before they instantly realized that they were in varying stages of undress (he had his jeans on, while she had just slipped her undergarments back on) and their remaining clothes were strewn across the room, including near the door...

"Just a second!" Joseph called, thinking quickly as he swiftly tiptoed across the room and gathered the clothes, shoving Clarisse's at her once he had sorted them out. "We're just sorting out the fire..." he added uselessly as he threw his shirt on, buttoning furiously before throwing his sweater over the top.

He wasn't totally surprised when, glancing over at his wife, she was already dressed and curled up under the blanket that had recently been covering her, staring into the fire- it was only him that was holding things up, he though wryly- and it was only seconds later when he padded to the door and opened it... thankfully, there was no sign of what had transpired prior to his former colleagues arrival.

Aside from giving 'the boys' a warm smile when they brought their supplies in, Clarisse continued to resolutely stare into the fire, even when Joseph walked them out, stood outside talking to them and then returned, closing the door behind him. She only stirred when he sat down next to her and sighed heavily.

"What?" she asked, still staring into the fire but sensing that something was bothering him.

"I...I'm sorry about before..."

"About what? About making love to me or saying that we had made a mistake by being intimate?" she responded sarcastically- she _was _angry and hurt about that and she wanted him to realize that.

"The latter," he said immediately. "I know I hurt you by saying that and I didn't mean to..."

"What DID you mean, then?" she slowly turned to look at him with bleak, resigned eyes.

"I meant... we shouldn't be clouding our marital problems with this... intimacy..."

"Just because we have problems, it doesn't mean that intimacy has to stop... we don't have to make love, but we can do other things..."

"Believe me, I would love to spend my days making love to you... but I don't want this to be a temporary fix to our problems... we need to do some talking to try and fix them."

"Do you KNOW how it made me feel to know that you were regretting that moment?" she whispered to him. "I felt so ashamed, so humilated... even used... I never thought I would feel like that again."

"Again?" he repeated, although he knew the answer to that before she replied.

"Yes, AGAIN... Rupert made me feel like that on several occasions, but I accepted it... I never thought that YOU would make me feel like that- ever."

"I'm sorry," he said carefully, sighing heavily again. "I didn't want to make you feel like that."

"Then why...?"

"I guess... I was more ashamed of myself, for forcing you... treating you so roughly..."

"You didn't force me," she said gently, blushing as she turned back to the fire. "And you certainly weren't rough," she smiled a little. "We were both angry at each other- I suppose it just fuelled the flames of our emotions."

"But I've never done that before in anger- especially with you."

"I'm not that fragile," Clarisse replied with the same small smile, and then there was a long, not too awkward yet not totally comfortable silence as they both stared into the fire, wondering where they could go from here- they were no longer fighting, but the potential was still there for something, anything to provoke another explosion.

Joseph finally broke the moment by standing up and stretching.

"I suppose I should unpack our supplies, otherwise some of it won't be edible."

"And your men will have to go shopping again," Clarisse joked and they exchanged a small grin.

"I thought you didn't approve of me using our bodyguards as personal shoppers?" he teased.

"I don't, most of the time... but since the weather is so awful..."

"Yet not quite so awful for you to go walking?" his voice turned even and although the smile remained in place on his lips, hers slipped away.

"Please... I'll admit it was a slightly ridiculous idea... I don't want to fight anymore... I'm sorry I ddi what I did, and I won't do it again," she said quietly and penitently, her eyes never leaving his- she didn't want him to doubt the sincerity of her apology- and it was only a few seconds later when his face and posture relaxed completely.

"It's alright... it's just that, even when I'm angry with you, I can't help but feel protective as well."  
"A hazard from being HOS too long?" she joked weakly.

"Partly that, and partly because I've ALWAYS felt that way about you... not because you couldn't look after yourself but... it was a natural instinct towards someone I cared about very much, even when you were my boss... I _wanted_ to protect you, Clarisse, not the Queen, and that has never changed," he finished quietly before he strolled towards the kitchen, leaving Clarisse sitting on the sofa, absorbing heat from the fire and what he had just said...

0

After the 'excitement' of the morning- Clarisse's unexpected walk, their passionate 'reunion' and then their visitors- the rest of their day was spent relatively quietly in front of the fire and the television, although Clarisse spent some of the afternoon absorbted in a book she had been wanting to read for a long time, and talking only about inconsequential things.

Joseph's attitude had changed considerably after her walk- while at brekfast, he had been indifferent and allowed her to get her own breakfast; at lunchtime, on the other hand, he was more helpful, giving her some space when needed yet being far more solicitious than previously. She appreciated the gestures, even felt a little better by his attention, but she knew they were still avoiding the discussion they so desperately needed, which was what she was mulling over as she continued staring at the same page in her book..

Before she could put her book down and initiate conversation, her husband surprised her by getting in first.

"I'm sorry about before," and it took a moment for her to gather her thoughts before turning to look at him.

"What for?"

"For shouting at you when we were outside- I never meant... I never have yelled at you like that before."

"Only when you were fiercely against something I wanted to, advised me against it and then I go against your wishes," she reminded him with a sheepish smile and he responded with a wry smile.

"True... but your instincts were usually right in any case."

"Mmm," she hummed non committedly before sighing, half contentedly and half sadly. "Oh Joseph... what are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean... this, us. We can't keep going on like this, fighting, throwing ourselves into work we shouldn't be doing anymore and avoiding each other like the plague."

"I know," he sighed heavily. "This has gone on for too long and caused so much damage- I was hoping that us being here would help," he sounded regretful, resigned, and Clarisse was quick to reassure him.

"It _has_, it truly has, if only slightly at the moment... it was a _brilliant_ idea to get us away from the palace... I didn't realize it then, but it's what I need, what we both need... and I think I wanted it too, although I probably didn't want to admit it at the time."

"I thought..."

"I'm _glad_ we're here," she said fervently, moving closer to him and resting her hand almost timidly on top of his. "It doesn't seem as though anything has changed, but it has, I can feel it."

There was a pause as they sat there in silence, her hand still on top of his as they avoided each other's gaze, before Clarisse decided to leap in with the question that, in another form, had started a fight only the day before, but hopefully wouldn't do it again now.

"Joseph... tell me what you're really thinking and feeling."

The silence that followed was almost deafening- even the television seemed dimmer after she had spoken- and lasted so long that she was starting to grow worried that she had said the wrong thing, again, before...

"I'm afraid, that's why I've been so distant."

"Afraid of what?" she pressed gently, and there was another silence before he spoke again.

"Afraid of this all falling apart."

"All of what?"

"Us, this, our marriage... you really hurt me yesterday when you told me you didn't completely trust me."  
"I know," she sad quietly, but didn't say anymore- she had had her confession time yesterday, now it was his turn.

"It made me feel... inadequate, as if I wasn't good enough for you, as if you deep down believed what certain factions believe about me."

"Never, never!" Clarisse cried passionately, tears stinging her eyes at the thought that anyone would think that. "I have NEVER thought that, and I am truly sorry if I ever gave you that impression."

"You didn't," he said immediately, almost as fervently. "It's just that my self doubts convinced me otherwise, hence I threw myself into helping Scott- I felt I was needed, I knew what I was doing... and then yesterday... you not trusting your husband..." he trailed off for a second. "I don't want our marriage to fail- I've waited too long for you to give up at the first sign of trouble," he finished decisively, but with hope in his voice.

"Yet we've had so much trouble lately," she sounded depressed. "I know they say the first year is the hardest, but this... we never used to argue like this before we were married."

"Except when you went against my advice," he grinned as he patted her hand, still on top of his, before entwining their fingers, and she had the grace to blush. "I too have been desparing about us and what we can do... in fact," he paused to take a deep breath in- this was a time for honesty, no matter how much it hurt.

"The night of the dinner party, when I made that smart remark..."

"While probably completely inappropriate, was a very good wake up call."

"Maybe so, but that night..." he took a deep breath in- this was harder than he had expected, but she deserved to know. "I was considering whether you and I really had a future together... whether our marriage was really worth saving..."


	12. Breakthrough Part Two

_A/N: Finally, they're getting their act together!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

"_On that night, I was considering whether you and I really had a future together... whether our marriage was really worth saving..."_

His words continued to reverberate around the room after he had finished speaking, and the silence that followed as almost, if not more, deafening as when Clarisse had asked him what he was thinking about, and Joseph didn't dare look at her, although he could sense that she was speechless, frozen with shock, until...

"Was that the first time you considered that?" she asked in a strained voice, gazing into the fire, not particularly wanting to look at him- if he had truly wanted to end their marriage after six months...

"Yes," he said honestly. "That argument we had had that afternoon- which, ironically, I cannot remember what it was about- really shook me and... I, in the mood that I was in at the time, couldn't help but feel that we were incompatible and that we weren't meant to be together."

"How do you feel now?" she almost whispered.

"I don't feel like that," he reassured her quickly. "It was just a momentary question... as I said before, I've waited too long for you to allow our marriage to be destroyed after six months."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I honestly didn't want to hurt you or think that I didn't value our marriage, I do... it was a momentary lapse, an impuls that I never could have indulged."

"How do **I** know that?" she snapped almost bitterly.

"Because... you know me and you KNOW I don't give up at the first sign of trouble."

"I THOUGHT I knew you..." she muttered almost to herself before she took a long, deep, shuddering breath in and slowly let it out, counting down from ten.

"I was afraid to tell you," he muttered, loud enough for her to hear. "I didn't want you to think that I considered marriage a joke, I don't... this is the first time I've been married and I don't want that destroyed... especially since I'm married to you."

"Would you have considered... other options if I hadn't agreed to come away with you?"

"No... although I know it would have come down to the wire, eventually, if something hadn't been done... why DID you agree to come?" he looked at her pointedly and she considered her answer for a moment.

"I_ wanted_ to," she said softly, remembering how, after the dinner and Joseph's ultimatum, she had locked herself into her dressing room and cried her heart out, unable to believe that they didn't have much longer to work on their marriage- it had been so painful, she had been so unhappy and so frustrated, particularly knowing that he was right.

"I did, very much," she continued as he watched her carefully- he didn't know why, he knew she wouldn't lie to him, but there was still a tiny part of him that was guarded from her.

"You were right," she said aloud, startling them both. "We HAD to get out of there before our lives and relationship were completely destroyed... and I'm glad you made the deicsion... I think you should make more of them from now on!" she declared and he gave her a sidelong glance, weighing up whether she was serious or not, before Clarisse, reading his expression, amended her words.

"I mean that- I know I hurt and almost betrayed you by making decisions on my own..."

"You have been doing that for a long time- as Queen of a country, you had to," he said reasonably- he had long since ceased to be angry at her for doing something she had probably had no choice about doing since Rupert had become ill, and he knew he had been unreasonable to expect otherwise.

"Nevertheless, you are my husband and you have the right to contribute to our life together... I'm sorry I never seriously thought about what that was doing to you... I should have but I didn't and that makes me look like a fool," she said blunty, revealing her own secret regrets, which surprised but touched him.

"You're not a fool," Joseph said firmly. "You have always been a strong, independent woman, a Queen, and it takes time to wind down from that, and the associated responsibilities."

"Why are you being so reasonable about it now?" she finally looked at him directly. "You were always so angry about it on previous occasions- especially when I was travelling with Mia."

"I know, but I was wrong to feel like that."

"You weren't wrong, your feelings were completely and absolutely justified."

"Nevertheless, I was unrealistic in my expectations of you adjusting to life after being Queen, and I'll always be angry at myself for that."

He paused for a moment before bringing around the question that had started this whole discussion.

"How do you feel about what I just told you?" he asked finally and Clarisse visibly stiffened at his words.

"I don't know," she said after a moment, with some difficulty. "I don't know how to think or feel..." she stopped for a moment before continuing. "The thought of YOU re considering our future together, after what we went through to be together and especially after the way you pressed me about marriage..."

"I didn't... .I shouldn't have walked out on you."

"We're not talking about that!" she snapped, anger flashing in her eyes before it quickly subsided again. "It's hard to believe all of that, all of what you have just said, in light of your admission," she said coldly.

"As I said before, it was a one time question, an idea, a question I wouldn't have answered or acted upon in any case."

"I don't know whether to believe you or not!" she was growing angrier by the moment.

"Then believe this!" he suddenly tured her around by the shoulders and cupped her face in his hands before staring deeply and intensely into her eyes, not making any movement to kiss her but just stared into her eyes, trying to let her know, without any words, how much she meant to him.

Clarisse struggled against him for a moment, surprised at his actions and not particularly wanting to look in his eyes but then, realizing he was serious, she relaxed and gazed back into his eyes, suddenly making a surprising discovery...

Joseph was still the same man he had always been, the same man she had fallen in love with and Clarisse suddenly remembered her first impression of him...

_0_

_He was tall, although not quite as tall as the current Head of Security, Charlie, with quite a handsome face, and when he removed his dark glasses and turned his warm brown eyes toward her, Clarisse could feel her knees turn to jelly beneath her. His expression was polite and coolly professional, yet there was something in his eyes... something warm, compassionate, almost tender that it lightened her heart._

"_Your Majesty," he said politely, his voice of a huskey yet soft, gentlemanly timbre, as he bowed to her slightly and Clarisse felt a thrill run up her spine and she didn't know why._

"_Joseph, it's a pleasure to meet you," she responded just as politely, extending her hand and, as he took it, a spark of electricity coursed through both of their hands and Clarisse suddenly had the sense that this man, who had greatly impressed her in the past few minutes with both his physical presence and the way he had looked at her, would have a greater impact on her life than she had intially expected and while that should have frightened her, it didn't..._

_In fact, much to her bewilderment, the thought excited her..._

_0_

"What?" he suddenly asked, seeing her expression soften and turn dreamy. "What are you thinking about?"

"I was just thinking about the first time we met and how I sensed then that you were going to become extremely important to me... I guess I was right."

"You guess?" he teased gently and she gave him a small smile.

"Alright, I know... and I'm glad," she touched his cheek with one hand. "Do you remember when we met?"

"I do," he looked at her seriously. "I remember thinking that you were an incredible looking young woman who didn't look 30 and didn't look like you were a mother or a Queen..." he trailed off as he recalled exactly what he had been thinking...

_0_

_Her Majesty was a slim, elegant, youthful looking young woman who was dressed sylishly yet demurely, her posture almost ramrod straight- the perfect epitome of a Queen- but Joe wasn't focusing on any of that, he was focusing on her face, especially her expression and her eyes..._

_Her eyes were of the deepest sapphire blue and he felt as though he could drown in them if he only looked at her, if only there wasn't a wall built around them, allowing her to reveal the emotions she wanted to reveal..._

_Yet, thanks to his years of training, previous jobs and learning to read people, he could read some of the emotions she was feeling and trying to hide from the rest of the world- she was quite shy and reserved (understandable, given her profession) and resigned about the life she was leading, almost despairing which, at thirty, wasn't a happy, healthy sign... she clearly wasn't happy and he immediately felt a need to protect her from the world... which was understandable, given his new position, but this feeling... it was something more..._

_She then looked up as introductions were made and he suddenly felt a strange sensation course through him and he didn't know how or why, but he sensed that there would be a connection between him and the Queen that would surpass their working relationship- if, and this was a big if, she allowed it...and he sincerely hoped she would..._

_0_

"So we both knew that our connection was undeniable and we were meant to be together," she concluded softly, astounded at the similarity between their two stories of when they had first met and how they had both felt. "You never told me that... I'm glad you did, though."

"You never told me about your recollection either," he reminded her. "But I'm glad I heard about it too," before, with an inaudible sigh, he returned to the question at hand. "So... about before..." and she instantly sobered up and pulled away.

"There are two ways I could look at your confession and two alternate thoughts," she began carefully. "I _could_ say that... seeing it's YOUR first marriage and you've never been married before, you really couldn't complain or compare our marriage or decide whether it was worth it or not- I had more experience, having been married before, and my opinion would probably be more credible than yours in that respect."

He exhaled slowly when she paused- this didn't sound good, but he had to listen to everything she had to say.

"On the other hand, I could also say..."

"Could also say what?" he croaked- the suspense was killing him- as well as he knew her, there were times when she was still a mystery to him.

"I could also say... I understand," she said simply, finally looking back at him after looking away at his question, with a small smile.

"I DO understand, and I don't blame you for questioning us... I'm hardly the easiest person to live with, let alone be married to," she smiled wryly at that. "...and I do understand why you had to question us, and I'm glad you brought it up."

"Did you... ever question our relationship, I mean?"

"I never really had the time to think about us... I guess I took you more than a little for granted and I'm ashamed of that... I want to be perfect aorund you and I'm discovering that I can't be."

"I don't want you to be perfect!" he protested. "I want you like you are- although I consider you perfect just the way you are!"

There was a long moment between them as they both considered what they had shared and how things had improved slightly between them, before she turned and glanced outside- it was getting dark but it had stopped snowing, and then turned to him with a smile.

"How about _WE _go for a walk?"


	13. Breakthrough Part Three

_Thanks to my readers and reviewers- you all rock!  
The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

"NOW?" he questioned- he too had seen the growing darkness and, despite the lack of snowfall, he wasn't quite sure that they should venture out – but then he looked back and saw that Clarisse was feeling enthusiastic and keen about going outside and he, of course, couldn't let her go alone... his husbandly concern overruled former bodyguard mentatility- that, and he couldn't deny her anything, not even when he was angry and disappointed in her.

"Well, maybe not now but later... it might be nice to stroll through the snow in the moonlight..." she didn't dare say romantic- it was way too soon for that, especially after what they had been through- but it was a start.

"It might be nice," he agreed with a pensive look. "Maybe a little later, depending on the weather... unless you want to go now?" he looked at her with a slightly timid air- he had never felt like this around her, not even when he was working for her, and he knew why- their marriage was still so fragile, the trust between them so tenuous, he didn't want to break anything...

"No, I'm fine with whenever you want to go, it was just a suggestion- I'm more than happy to stay here by the fire."

"Are you going to give Mia a call sometime? I think she would probably like to hear from us?"

"I was going to but..." she trailed off, not wanting to continue that thought but they both knew what she was referring to- their first day and a half at the cabin had hardly been the easiest or the happiest.

"Call her," he insisted with surprising firmness, no anger behind it as he reached for his mobile and passed it to her. "I'm sure she'll be keen to know how we are, as would Pierre..."

Mia sounded distracted when she first answered the phone (Clarisse was amused not yet surprised when she discovered that she answered her private phone line) but once she realized who it was, she was instantly focused.

"Grandma! How are you and Joe? Not freezing out there, I hope!"

"No, we're quite warm and comfortable here- the wood box, according to Joseph, is fully stocked up so we won't freeze."

"How are you two?" Mia sounded cautious. "I wanted to call you earlier but Uncle Pierre and Charlotte prevailed on me to wait until you called."

"We're fine," Clarisse replied honestly, glancing over at the small kitchen where Joseph was beginning preparations for their dinner. "Things aren't quite so rocky as when you saw us," she aded in a low voice.

"But..." her wise 21 year old granddaughter sensed the unspoken hesitation in her sentence and tone.

"But... we still have a way to go, Clarisse concluded, unable to believe Mia was now a primary confidante but she should have expected it- after all, Phillipe had done the same thing when he was younger...

"Then stay there," Mia said immediately, not caring that it could be interpreted as insolence. "I don't want to sound tactless or anything, but your relationship with Joe is far more important than any state business here... besides, I have Uncle P, Charlotte and Sebastian here if I have any problems... you just stay there!"

"Why does it sound like we're being banished?" Clarisse sounded amused, but was also relieved that there was no hurry for them to be back.

"You're not being banished, Granda, it's just that you both deserve your fairytale ending and this is only another part of the journey to get to that destination- and you need to go through it."

There was a slight silence between them on the phone line for a moment before Clarisse recovered enough to finally utter, in an oddly thick voice:

"How are you and Nicholas?" and she was relieved when Mia's tone lightened at the mention of Nicholas.

The two of them talked for five or so more minutes longer, Joseph discreetly listening in from the kitchen, before Clarisse decided to end the call- Mia and Nicholas had plans for the evening and she didn't want to way lay them, but Mia's last words, aside from sending Joseph her love, were serious:

"Don't return to the palace until you and Joe have sorted yourselves out- you are too important to each other and us to break up..." and Clarisse couldn't help but blink back tears as she continued to sit on the sofa after the call had ended.

"Are you alright?" Joseph asked, moving over to the sofa after the silence had lasted longer than a minute, and Clarisse finally managed to pull herself together enough to give him a smile.

"I'm fine, just fine, and Mia sends her love... I just never seriously realized how many others had noticed and observed our difficulties," before she told him what Mia had said to her and Joseph looked touched.

"I suppose it was probably noticeable to some- particularly those who know us well- and, in my experience, I've discovered that when you try to hide something from others, it usually is discovered quicker than you expected."  
"Well, that explains how you always seemed to know when I was upset or something was bothering me," Clarisse responded with a quirk to her lips.

"You were always fairly easy to read, especially once we became friends and our relationship changed."

"Then, given that reasoning, how could I not be able to read you? I've dealt with just as many, if not more people in my lifetime and I could always tell what they were thinking. Yet, with you... it's almost as if I was completely obtuse."

"So could I," he growled, referring to the first part of her sentence- the times he had seen expressions of lust or disrespect on people's faces...before he realized that Clarisse was perplexed at how HE could read her, but she seemingly couldn't read him.

"However, my dear," he sat down beside her and took one of her hands between his. "You are far from obtuse when it comes to me- you know me far better than you allow yourself to admit, and we both know it- as well as the influence you weave over me... remember the Winter Ball at the palace in Lybitt about... six years ago? The ball when Lord Fricker..."

"Practically dragged me around the dance floor- he was so drunk!"

"And then Viscount Mabrey..." his hands unconsciously curled into fists- there had been a long period of enimity between the two men as Mabrey had always lusted after Clarisse (and yet had also looked down on her) and he had also hated the fact that there had always been a bond between her and Joseph...

"Viscount Mabrey didn't act like a gentleman towards you," he continued after a moment, the memory flashing in his eyes- he had, to be blunt, tried to hit on her, event hough Rupert had been present, and Joseph had had to act.

"But you came to my rescue before too long," she said with a sweet smile.

"Thankfully, you were still there to stop me from decking him... I was that angry, I knew if he had said anything else, I would have done something..."

"I wouldn't have minded," she said reasonably and his eyebrows shot up in surprise- he hadn't been expecting that- on the night in question, she had been cool and dignified, thanking Mabrey for the dance and then gliding away, beckoning Joseph to follow her.

"Really?"

"Really," she affirmed, holding his gaze calmly. "Not even my husband would have defended my honour that night, but knowing that you would have, and were about to..." she trailed off, blushing, and they held their look for a long moment before Joseph pulled away to stand up and clear his throat.

"Well, I'd better keep going with dinner if we're going to have it before midnight..." as he headed back to the kitchen.

"Do you need any help?" she inquired and he turned to her with a glimmer of the cheeky smile she loved so much.

"I think the table may need your special skills..." and she laughed, feeling lighter than she had in hours.

0

"I know I've said this before- but probably not for a long time time, so... you are a marvellous cook... one of your many natural talents," she praised him effusively as Clarisse sat back in her chair with a smile, their empty dinner and dessert plates resting on the table in front of them.

"Thank you, I will accept your praise," he bowed his head slightly in acknowledgement, but his twinkling eyes informed her that he was joking. "Maybe, next time, you could join me?"

"Maybe... or maybe I'll surprise you one day by cooking something myself..." and she knew exactly what she would prepare.

"I'd like that," his expression was soft and tone sincere.

"You would?" she was surprised.

"I would," she affirmed, reaching over and touching her hand for a moment. "Very much."

There was another silence between them, the television the only noise in the room, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable or awkward- things had definitely relaxed between them, although they were both aware that they were still tense around each other- before Joseph looked at his wife with a broad grin, piquing her interest instantly.

"What?"

"How about we do our washing up and then go for the walk you suggested earlier?" and the smile that lit up her face was worth all the doubts he still harboureed about their stroll. "It will have to be a brief one," he warned. "It's getting cold outside and I don't want either of us getting sick..."

"A brief walk is fine," she reassured him as she stood up and began gathering plates, silently adding _just as long as you're coming with me._

0

The atmosphere was incredibly icy when Joseph and Clarisse stepped out of the cabin, fully rugged up, and there was a moment's doubt on both their minds and he wondered whether she would change her mind, but the smile Clarisse gave him seconds later told him that she hadn't, but it also told him that the unrestrained side of her nature was finally reemerging...

"Are you ready... or do you want to stay here?" her expression changed to one of concern and he grinned- he could almost read the disappointment on her face, so much like Mia or Phillipe at times...

"If you go, I go...but let's go before I freeze!" he joked and she giggled slightly before they took off.

The walk was brief yet invigorating, and while Joseph and Clarisse had walked (or rather, almost jogged) soberly side by side, barely touched and speaking very little, the fresh air and icy conditions both invigorated and exhausted them, and they were both breathless and red cheeked when they returned to the cabin twenty minutes after they had left.

They paused almost awkwardly in the doorway, waiting for one or the other to make a move, and Clarisse was convinced he was about to kiss her, until... he opened the door and stepped aside so that Clarisse could enter the room first.

"Hot chocolate or tea?" he offered as soon as they were both in the room, Clarisse swallowing her disappointment as he moved towards the kitchen, before she spoke up in a neutral voice:

"Hot chocolate sounds lovely... only if you'r having some..." and he smiled at her.

"Of course... .hot chocolate is my weakness."

No words (or even television noise) were spoken as they sat in silence, side by side, sipping their hot chocolate, but only when it was over that Joseph took her cup and set both of them down on the coffee table and turned his attention to her, much to her embarrassment.

"I though you stopped watching me once we were married," she joked self consciously, starting to turn away before he stopped her with one hand and reache dout with his available one to cup her cheek.

"Joseph..." her heart suddenly began to race.

"Things aren't yet perfect between us but..." He lenaed over and gave her a long, lingering kiss. "I'm sure by the time our days here are over, they will be... I know they will be."

"So do I," she responded dreamily, hope reigniting in her heart.

"But now..." he stood and helped her up. "It's time for bed..." and Clarisse, although knowing that nothing would happen, not at the moment, couldn't help blush... hopefully things were on the way up again...


	14. Joseph's Idea

_A/N: A short chapter as I've been a bit flat out during the week, but I had to put this up... hmm, dating- getting to know each other? I wonder how that will turn out?_

_Thank you to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me_

The next morning, it was freezing in the bedroom when Clarisse woke up and she was immediately not inclined to climb out of bed even to dress and step into the room where the fire would inevitably be roaring, so she chose to snuggle further under the bedclothes (thankfully she had 'borrowed' a pair of Joseph's pyjamas before they left- she would have frozen in her lingerie) and slowly turned over, only to collide with a solid form halfway through her turn.

"Oh!" she almost squealed, startled, before she realized that it was her husband, and he was not only awake but also lying on his side, regarding her calmly. "Oh Joseph, you startled me!" she gased, her heart racing for a couple of seconds before it returned to it's normal pace and rhythm. "I thought you would have been up ages ago!"

"I was- just to get the fire going properly, to warm the room up- but then I decided to come back to bed and... watch you," he finished quietly, knowing how she hated being watched when she was asleep, but she didn't seem angry as she watched him, head cocked to one side.

"I see," she said mildly. "Were you thinking about anything in particular?"

"Not really," he said almost bashfully and Clarisse smiled as she touched his unshaven face gently, forcing him to look at her, sensing that something was different.

"Tell me," she whispered compellingly and he sighed, feeling half foolish yet relieved as well- it was hard to keep anything from Clarisse and he didn't particularly want to anymore- things were still fragile, but their connection was still there, under the surface.

"I was thinking about... how I really don't deserve you," he said in a rush, ignoring her sharp intake of breath, and it took Clarisse a moment to adjust to his words before her mind fully registered them as she pulled away from him slightly to look at his face piercingly.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" she inquired and a rare blush coloured his cheeks.

"Well... I'm hardly the most appropriate consort for a former Queen," he mumbled, already uncomfortable about how this was going.

"Why's that?"

"Well... we're not of the same class- you're from aristocracy and I'm... I'm practically working class."

"That's never mattered to me," she argued heatedly, sitting up a little and crossing her arms over her chest- it was cold in the bedroom, but she didn't care at that particular moment.. "You know that."

"But we never would have crossed paths if you hadn't been Queen."

"True... but, nevertheless," she said bravely, stung at his truthful words. "We were in the positions we were meant to be in in life and you know that class never mattered to me, even though it may have mattered to Rupert and my parents... I was attracted to you, Joseph Bonnell, because of your character and personality, not because of your class status... in fact, that term never counts any more in society- which I'm glad about, as I'm glad about the fact that Mia doesn't embrace that tradtion anymore."

"Still..." he was determined to have this all out. "I'm hardly trained for the life that you will continue to lead as the Dowager Queen."

"I'm not trained either, so we can learn together... besides, if you will remember, I am the first Queen who ISN'T a widow during this period of time after a coronation... actually, I'm probably the first Queen who is still alive after the new monarch ascends the throne... so, wecan re-write the rule book, if there is even one," she said gaily, determined to shoot down his objections- he was obviously feeling insecure in his new position as her husband and 'consort', but it was his doubts as well as his experience at knowing her as well as he did that convinced her that he WAS the perfect man for the job.

"I don't look like the ideal consort..."

"You are incredibly handsome, so I wouldn't worry about that... is this your insecurities talking, or are you seriously trying to talk me out of wanting to be with you?" she looked half amused, half shocked at what she had been hearing.

"No... it's just that it seems rather ridiculous that I am Pierre's stepfather, Mia's grandfather and your husband... I... I'm just..." he trailed off suddenly.

"You're just... what?" she relaxed again and moved closer to him.

"I'm just afraid... that I don't fit in, I shouldn't be here- I'm not good enough- and you're all going to discover this one day..." he almost whispered, feeling even more ridiculous, and there was the slightest of pauses before Clarisse moved even closer to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Oh... oh Joey..." she murmured softly into his ear. "Why would you even think that? You shouldn't be so insecure about us... you've never been insecure like this before."

"It's because I never was," he explained as he wound a timid arm around her waist. "Well... except at certain times in our relationship, but the wedding shifted us into something completely different... I don't want this marriage to fail..."

"Neither do I," she said firmly and softly.

"I know I can't really judge marriage, seeing as I've never done this before and you have..."

"It doesn't mean that I know any better- you know who I was married to the first time and that was hardly ideal...I'm just as blind about this as you are... we just have to work out how we can work through this.. together."

"Let's start again," he murmured after a moment and she pulled away again to gaze deeply into his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... we've both made so many mistakes in the last six months, so many lapses in judgement... I think that, maybe, we could begin again, re-establish our relationship as it was on our wedding day, if not stronger and deeper."

"That's sounds lovely..." she sounded touched- he had obviously considered this a lot more than she had, she thought to herserlf with a twinge of guilt and shame.

"It doesn't mean that we should forget about our pre-marital relationship," he continued, hoping that she wasn't going to protest but she wasn't- when he snuck a look at her, she was listening intently and he forced himself to continue looking into her eyes- this too was something else they had lost over the past few months..

"But the last few months have been messy and this getaway wasn't just a retreat for us, it was also a way to rebuild our relationship before it completely collapses... I've always wanted to be married to you..."

"So... this hasn't been a mistake?" she questioned quietly.

"No, the last six months may have been rough in some spots, but I just think that we may have needed more time to get used to being together all the time."

"What are you suggesting?" she arched an eyebrow curiously at him.

"Without ignoring the personal history we've already experienced together, as part of building our relationship in the beginning, I think..." he paused for a moment- she seemed receptive enough but still... "I think... maybe in beginning again, we could do something of things we couldn't do in the past..."

"Such as?" Clarisse was a little confused now, as judging by the confused frown puckering up her forehead.

"Dating," he said simply.

"Dating?" she was confused. "I know I may sound very naïve consider I never dated before, but how could we DATE here? We couldn't go anywhere or..." and he only smiled- her innocence and naivity in some aspects of life were what he loved most about her.

"By dating, I mean that we don't have to go out or be seen in public like most others do in that stage... I mean more like... getting to know each other again through talking, sharing memories and thoughts... I thought I knew you as well as I could before we got married, but you still continue to surprise me and I'm sure you can say the same thing about me... and it'll hopefully bring ups closer again...so," he looked at her expectantly, ready to hear what she had to say.

"What do you think?"


	15. Dating

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!  
The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

"So... what do you think?" he repeated, now with an anxious tone in his voice after a moment's silence, Clarisse not having said a word either way, and he had begun to panic, wondering whether his idea had been a brilliant one, before he realized she was watching him with a smile on her face.

"I think... it's a marvellous idea... I do have one question, though."

"Which is?"

"I never dated or anything like that, so maybe this might sound a little silly but..."

"Tell me," he encouraged.

"Well... if we're dating and getting to know each other better, should we really be sharing a bed? I know it's trendy to hop into bed within a date or two but I'm an old fashioned lady..."

For a moment, he thought she was serious about this- although he was used to sleeping on the sofa- but when Joseph looked at Clarisse, puzzled, her eyes were twinkling mischievously and her lips were pressed firmly together as if to prevent a smile and he realized she was only teasing him.

"Oh ho, ho!" he crowed, rolling over so that he was hovering over her, his hands on either side of her head. "If that's the case, then maybe... I should take back my pyjamas that you're wearingpand looking far better in them than I ever did- and then we'll seee..." he regarded her horrified expression calmly for a moment before he chuckled and she visibly relaxed as she realized that he too was joking- it had been so long since he had joked with her like this, and had given her that smile... and she herself was happier now knowing that he was feeling better.

She had had no idea he had felt like that- he had always projected an image of intelligence, confidence and secure in his own skin- and she now wished she had been more observant of him and his feelings... and then she had another realization strike her.

She had been envious and jealous of Mia and her new role, a role Clarisse herself had had for forty odd years, and wondering what she would do with herself, but she suddenly realized she was no longer afraid of letting go, and it had been her fears that had definitely contributed to her marital problems and Mia's lack of confidence in herself- Mia hadn't said anything, but Clarisse nonetheless could sense it.

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she had completely forgotten Joseph until she felt him touch her gently and she glanced over at him lying beside her.

"What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking about us..." she began carefully, not yet ready to confess what she was really thinking. "... and how much this will be... we never did date..."

"It was hardly appropriate for me to try and court the Queen of Genovia... especially while her husband, the King, was still alive!"

"But this will be a different experience for both of us- for me, especially," she smiled wryly. "You really have been thinking about this, haven't you?" she sounded admiring and he looked pleased, although a little embarrassed.

"A little, but I only seriously began thinking about this when we were here and... it didn't seem as though we were reconnecting..." and Clarisse winced, remembering the previous two days and ow awkward and tension filled those days had been... before, the memory slightly painful, she decided to change the subject.

"So what do we do?"

"There's no schedule for us anymore... as I said before, we're just getting to know each other again so... talking, reliving memories, there's a whole cupboard of board games in the next room..."

"Walking?"

"Of course- only not at night and not on our own," he gave her a pointedly stern look and she looked suitably penitent.

"Of course not, I won't do that again... anything else?"

There was a slight pause before he raised himself onto his elbow and gazed down at her, longing to kiss her- he had regretted yesterday's passionate reunion on the sofa, but it had also reawakened feelings in him that he had thought they had disappeared- but, wanting this idea to progress naturally, with them only kissing when they were comfortable with it and each other.

"I'm Joseph... and I'm delighted to make your acquaintance," he said simply, grinning at her, before slipping out of bed...

0

The atmosphere at breakfast this morning was considerably different to the previous mornings- while the television was on and there was very little conversation (the previous morning, they were ignoring each other), the tv today was only on for background noise and they weren't ignoring each other... in fact, Clarisse was feeling quite shy around her husband and Joseph, in turn, was feeling surprisingly nervous around her, before Clarisse decided to intiate conversation.

"So, I just realized you have so many variations on your name- Joe, Joey, Joe man... which do you prefer?" she asked over her tea and he looked thoughtful.

"I never really thought about it... my friends call me Joe, Shades is only being smart when he calls me Joe Man," he wrinkled his face in distaste. "And Joey... don't even mention that name to me!"

"So you're alright with Mia calling you Joe?"

"Yes, I always have been... although she now calls me Grandpa, remember?"

"What you prefer me to call you?" and it gave him pause to consider the question.

"Joseph," he said finally, decisively. "I don't mind everyone else calling me Joe, but you're different."

"In what way?" she was curious, if not slightly hurt. "I'm just like everyone else."

"But you're not," he leaned over to clasp her hand in his. "You never have been and I don't want you to be, and I like you, and only really you, calling me Joseph."

"Why?" she felt flattered at his admission.

"Because you always make me feel like a gentleman, despite my background, and the way YOU say it... Joseph..." he drifted out for a moment before refocusing. "No one has ever said my name in quite that way... and I like it."  
There was a short silence after that before he decided to lighten the atmosphere.

"So... do you have any nicknames?" and his wife, who had turned a bright red and had been staring into her empty tea cup at his admission, again visibly relaxed as she laughed and looked back up at him.

"No I don't... my granddaughter, when she was 16, had several suggestions when we met that first time..."

"Really?" he had never heard this before. "What were her imaginative suggestions?"

"Cla... and Ressie..." Clarisse made a face at her suggestions and it was Joseph's turn to laugh- he could not imagine Clarisse's name being shortened or ber being comfortable with that happening.

"Those were certainly imaginative suggestions!'

"Indeed," she said dryly. "I wasn't particularly impressed at the time, but now, when I think about it... yes, they were imaginative."

"Would you like me to call you either of them?" he teased, roaring with laughter when he saw her expression. "No, I think I prefer Clarisse."

"Thank you," she smiled gratefully before looking down at the table and the empty plates. "So, once we have cleaned up here... would it be warm enough for us to go out for a walk?"

"I think NOW might be a good time for us to go," he said after quickly glancing out the window. "It's not night time and the temperature, while not exactly pleasant, wouldn't be dropping... so let's do it!" he grinned brightly at her and Clarisse couldn't help but feel a little weak at the knees- he had always had that affect on her...

0

It was again a far different story when they stepped outside (again completely rugged up)- while it was clear that it had snowed, it wasn't at that moment as, in fact, the sun was shining, and the temperature, while not warm, wasn't quite as cold as last night.

It was because of the improved weather conditions and the awareness that this was the beginning of a new chapter for them that their stroll was much more leisurely, less hurried and they went further into the forest than they (or rather Clarisse) had done the previous day, a fact that Clarisse couldn't resist mentioning when they stopped for a break.

"At least you're not yelling at me today for going too far into the woods," she teased and he had the grace to look embarrassed, before she quickly continued: "Not that I didn't deserve a good reprimand- I shouldn't have pushed your limits."

"I shouldn't have forced you to do something like that," he mumbled, looking down at his feet. "I was still angry about the day before and I acted childishly... I'm sorry."

"Joseph," she stopped and turned to him with an odd smile. "I was wrong to push YOUR limits- I was just being obnoxious... however, isn't this going to be a new, fresh start for us? We don't need to relive past mistakes, even from yesterday!"

"True," he smiled sheepishly- she was right. "I just wanted you to know I still feel dreadful about yelling at you."  
"At least it was a sign that you cared," she shrugged carelessly. "At least you didn't treat me as if I was silly or useless."

They were feeling slightly less cheerful as they returned to the cabin, neither of them inclined to speak- but as Joseph stepped forward to open the front door, he sensed Clarisse, who had been standing behind him, disappear and he was about to turn around to investigate where she had gone before he felt something solid and cold hit him on his side and he looked down to see the remanants of a snowball falling off his jacket, quickly followed by the sound of her chuckling-something that quickly turned into laughter when he turned to her.

"Why you little..." he began as he bent down, eyes still on her, to gather a snowball of his own but before he could fully gather it, she threw her other one, the one she had kept hidden, and hit him on the cheek and the sound of her rich, happy laughter filled the air.

"You, Phillipe and Mia are all alike!" he accused as he brushed the cold snow off his cheek.

"I certainly hope so!' she declared stoutly. "And, hopefully, Pierre is just like us too..." but before she could say anything more, she was hit by a snowball and it was Joseph's turn to laugh out loud.

"You didn't expect that, did you?" he joked before she quickly retaliated, and soon there was a snowball fight that wasn't quite as 'violent' as the ones Mia and Nicholas had participated in, but the participants in this fight were nevertheless keen and enthusiastic, ending only when Joseph and Clarisse were red cheek and breathless, Joseph calling a truce.

"Who won?" she asked eagerly as soon as she had caught her breath and he shrugged amusedly.

"It's a tie... we may have to have a rematch!"

"I'll be happy to participate in that!"

0

It took a long, leisurely lunch, two games of Scrabble (a game they were both good at, although Clarisse narrowly beat Joseph overall) and two showers before Joseph finally declared himself "warm enough!"

"Remind me not to have a snowball fight with you tomorrow- every second day would be better!" he mock complained as he reclined at one of the sofa, Clarisse at the other end, the television on to a movie that they were intermittently watching.

"Oh poor Joseph," Clarisse crooned with a wicked smile as she tucked a cushion under her back. "Are we a sore loser?"

"No... it was... cold, that's all," he protested lamely but when Clarisse gave him a skeptical look, he had to smile.

"You sound like one of the boys when they were young... and not only when they had snowball fights, but whenever they played any game together- Pierre was always accusing Phillipe of cheating, Phillipe accused Pierre of being a poor loser... they never really got along when they were playing games or sport," she sounded nostalgic.

"What about board games?"

"Pretty much the same way, although once they were in their 20s, they seemed to enjoy it... I miss those times," she said wistfully and he reached over to pat her knee sympathetically.

"Maybe we could have a games evening with Pierre, Charlotte, Mia and Nicholas," he suggested after a moment. "It might not be the same, but it would be fun."

"Yes, it would be," she allowed,her eyes lighting up at Joseph's suggestion. "Although, knowing Mia and how similar she is to Phillipe and how she and Nicholas fight, I wouldn't be surprised if those game nights might be just as heated as when her father and uncle were growing up...However, I think it's a marvellous idea and when we get back to the palace, we should do it."

There was another pause as the two of them enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere, the fire and the television and the background noise it was making, before Clarisse cleared her throat softly and looked at Joseph- things were going so well between them, she HAD to tell them about the realization she had had that morning- he DESERVED to know and, hopefully, he would understand.

"Joseph?"

"Mmm?"

"There's something I want to tell you..."


	16. Falling

_A/N: My bad for leaving you all hanging, I am sorry about that, so I thought I would make it up to you with a short, sweet chapter..._

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

"_There's something I want to tell you..." _Clarisse finished quietly yet significantly and Joseph immediately sprang to attention mentally although, physically, he remained as lazy and as casual as ever- he was keen to know what she was going to admit to him, but he didn't want to seem too alert otherwise she would retreat back into her shell.

"Oh? What?" he asked casually.

"Well... you were wondering what I was thinking about this morning when I was considering your idea... I want to tell you want I was thinking."

"You weren't thinking about us?"

"I was, in a way, but it was more like an me.."

"Oh?"

"I realized..." she paused for a moment before she took a deep breath in and decided tp lunge in. "I realized... that my inability to let go of my former position affected not only OUR marriage, but also Mia's confidence in herself."  
"Hmmm," he sounded non committal but he was listening avidly.

"I guess.. .. this will probably put me in a bad light, but since we're dating and I want to be completely honest with you... I guess I am... or rather I WAS... jealous of Mia- she's young, beautiful and she is now in the role I had been in for the past forty years and I... was unsure of not only us but how I would fit in in the royal court... things changed so quickly and it took my breath away... I don't regret marrying you and I never will, but there was a part of me that was afraid of looking into the future."

"We're all afraid of looking into the future," he said calmly, although her admission was simultaneously intriguing and shaking him up- she was finally telling him the truth of her behaviour for the past few months, but he also realized that she was admitting to being jealous of Mia when she had, only months earlier, accused of him of exactly the same thing, and not believing him when he said he wasn't jealous of her.

"What else did you realize?" he asked in a neutral tone.

"I realized that not only had I been jealous of Mia- which is something I will always regret- but... I also came to discover that..."

She paused again- WHY was this so difficult to tell him? She knew he had been waiting for an answer for a couple of months and he deserved an answer... she wanted to tell him, yet she was inexplicably nervous.

"What?" he pressed, a touch of impatience in his voice- she had never been this hesitant about telling him something (aside from that night in the ballroom) and he was starting to wonder why this time was so difficult...

"...I came to discover that I am ready to step away from all of the problems, issues and even positives of being Queen and really enjoy my retirement, as I should have done since my coronation... and I've come to the conclusion that I'm ready."

There was a long silence after her admission, both of them experiencing very different emotions, before Joseph gazed at her, an eyebrow raised skeptically.

"Really?"

"Really," she affirmed, not insulted at his skepticism- she had hardly been behaving appropriately lately or in a way that would have inspired his affection.

"Why and when did you come to this... discovery?" he couldn't help the ting of sarcasm and disbelief in his voice, but his wife again looked unflappable and Joseph suddenly couldn't help but feel suspicious- was this really an admission or was she just trying to placate him?

"I've know it for quite a while, but I've only really allowed myself to think abou it this morning... and it was then that I knew I didn't want to lose you or our marriage."

"How do I know you won't change your mind when we get back to the palace?" he sounded sharp, all pretense of them dating and getting know each other gone, and she suddenly felt a little hurt.

"If you think that..." she began angrily before she took a deep breath in- this was SUPPOSED to be helping them and she HAD been feeling like this so he did deserve to know, yet he was taking offense to this...

"No, I won't change my mind on this," she said defiantly as she sat up, away from the cushions, her posture stiff. "All I really know NOW is that I don't want to lose my husband- although, considering my recent behaviour, it's something that I probably deserve- but I am not forcing you to stay if you don't want to," she finished sadly- maybe she should have faced this realization sooner, but she couldn't blame him if, after this, he decided to end their marriage... she had to admit, he had had to be incredibly patient and willing to remain in the shadows for much of their relationship and she was afraid that he had finally reached his limit.

She didn't care if he lfet her and everyone gossiped about it- all she cared about was him and his feelings.

"I'm not staying because you think you are forcing me to, but because I want to stay," he said curtly. "As I've said before, I've waited too long to be with you to throw it all away once things get difficult."

"I know that... but I am serious about this," she looked at him with sincerity and determination, wishing to convey this to him. "I am ready to let go, and I want to."

"What about Mia?"

"I'll remain in a purely advisory capacity- but no trips, no meetings, no parliament sessions (unless she wants me) and no late nights."

"So you are seriously ready for retirement?" he said slowly, gradually convinced that she was being sincere. "We won't go back to the palace and you discover you can't give up work?"

"Yes, I'm serious," Clarisse said simply, understanding his cautiousness. "I'm sorry that I let this go on for far longer that it should have... I was just afraid of becoming obsolete to Mia and the country... I was afraid that I wasn't going to be needed," she finished in a whisper and Joseph, watching her, suddenly understood and he completely empathized with her- that was what he too had been feeling, along with resentment and anger at Clarisse.

They had both been afraid of what they would have after they had retired from their respective positions... they had been afraid of the unknown and of retirement... and of their newly formalized relationship.

"If it makes you feel any better, I was afraid of the same thing," he admitted gruffly and Clarisse's eyes widened. "I was afraid that Scott wouldn't need me and then, when you began pushing me away, I thought you didn't need me either."

"Oh Joseph!" she gasped in astonishment, creeping closer to him. "I had no ide!"

"That makes two of us- I had no idea about the extent of your insecurities," he said dryly before he took her hand in his. "I suppose we were both being rather silly... but YOU shouldn't feel as if you will never be needed- Mia and Pierre will always need you and I know I will always need you," He murmured, raising her hand to his lips. "I always have."

"Even when I wasn't exactly a good wife?"

"Even then... and I disagree with the bad wife label- you have never been that."

"Well then, you should know that YOU will always been needed- Mia and Pierre have always looked up to you and, not to impugn on their own skills, Shades and the rest of the team will need you on occasion... and I most assuredly will always need you," she lowered her eyes for a moment.

"After all these years, I can't imagine not needing you...:" Clarisse almost whispered, her cheeks turning pink, and there was a long silence before Joseph squeezed her hand and then stood up, glancing at his watch.

"Time to start dinner," he said matter of factly and Clarisse felt her heart fall into her knees at his tone- surely he wasn't going to write off this entire discussion, she had really meant what she said- but then he looked down at her with a smile and the expression in his eyes made her heart beat faster... something she hadn't felt for a long time but when she did... it was wonderful...

She wasn't completely sure but Clarisse was beginning to suspect that she was falling in love with Joseph all over again... and she couldn't help but feel nervous, excited and young again...

Clarisse didn't realize it as she followed him to the kitchen- even though she claimed she couldn't do anything culinary wise, they had managed to prepare some of their previous meals together- but Joseph was feeling almost the exact way as Clarisse was...

She had finally told him the truth and he appreciated and admired her for it... and he suddenly could recall all the qualities that had attracted him to her, and why he had been attracted to her... he was beginning to suspect that he was falling in love with Clarisse all over again...


	17. The Kiss

_A/N: FINALLY, a kiss! Here's to things getting better!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you rock!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

Their evening meal was an uncharacteristically silent affair- not that either of them hadn't experienced that in the past few months, as both of them could recall dinners where one or the other hadn't shown up or they spent the meal in icy silence- but this time they were both absorbed in the disucssion that they had had before dinner, and the unexpected revelations.

Joseph was simultaneously touched, impressed and shaken at Clarisse's confession- he had suspected as much before she said anything but he had wanted to wait until SHE was ready to admit what she was feeling.

It hadn't surprised him to discover she had been afraid to let go of her former role and had thus assisted Mia in any way possible so she could continue in that role, albiet vicariously. It DID surprise him that it had taken so long for Clarisse to admit this- although she did have a strong sense of self (or so it seemed), essential in her job and the people she associated with- and know she was in the wrong as well as admit that.

At least, he thought philosophically, it was better late than never- and it showed that Clarisse could and would change... she had changed a great deal since the wedding, but some old habits hadn't died- in her case, the compulsion to work and to protect herself from letting anyone in.

Clarisse herself felt relieved that she had finally faced her fears and had admitted to herself and Joseph. It HAD been difficult to admit she had to let go (and she was ready for it)- it had been her job for forty odd years, six years alone, and while it wasn't that she didn't believe in Mia (she did and she knew that she would do a wonderful job) but Genovia had been almost all she had really cared about for a time and had been running it successfully for so long and Mia taking over had irked her, much to her shame, more than she realized.

She now realized that she not only had to mend her relationship with Joseph but also hers with Mia- Clarisse supposed, in a moment of clarity, that Mia had probably been chafing under her wing for a long time and she really couldn't balme the younger woman- she wanted to do her own thing, press her own style onto the country and lead in her own way...

She had caused so much damage, Clarisse thought with a heavy sigh, immediately alerting Joseph and he focused his attention back on her.

"What?" he suddenly said and Clarisse gave a start- she hadn't realized he was watching her. "What's wrong?" he pressed and she sighed again.

"I was just thinking about how much irreparable damage I have done- to you, to us, to Mia, maybe even to the country and all because I didn't want to let go of being Queen... I feel like such a fool," she finished bitterly and Joseph didn't hesitate to reach over for her hand.

"You didn't cause too much irreparable damage- I'm fine, we'll be fine and I'm sure Mia will be too... I'm more impressed with how you faced up to this and actually had the courage to admit it to me."

"Why wouldn't I have told you that?" she looked puzzled. "It took me a while to face up to the fact I HAD to let go and I wanted to let go, but I would have told you... I was foolish not to have done so before."

"Maybe you weren't ready," he suggested gently and she frowned at him.

"You don't have to be so nice and gentle towards me- I really don't deserve it," she said waspishly, angrier at herself than at him. "I know I'm selfish, I know I've barricaded myself in my ivory tower for the past few months, I've been difficult to live with and I'm even more sorry that I blamed you completely for all our problems... I know I contributed to them as well."

"Hey, hey, hey- what's all this?" he was genuinely alarmed at her outburst- he had never meant for her to feel this guilty about what had transpired- he HAD hoped that it would relieve the tension between them but it had somehow increased it. "I never meant you to feel like this!

"But it's true," Clarisse said stubbornly. "I didn't want to admit it but I knew it was true- andI was selfish enough to try and blame it all on you."

"We were BOTH at fault," he emphasised strongly, squeezing her hand tightly.

"Doesn't it bother you that I'm so self absorbed and selfish?" she exclaimed exasperatedly and he shook his head.

"No it doesn't, not that you are... and I don't want this to wreck your self esteem and question your character... yes, it took you quite some time to admit to yourself and us that you were frightened of the future and losing control of what you had been ruling over and what you know, but I didn't make things easier for you- I was judgemental, selfish, arrogant and not very understanding... I, more than anyone, should have been more understanding..."

There was another long pause as they both considered their own guilty consciences and the traits they possessed that they considered detrimental, before Joseph suddenly spoke up:

"Do you remember our first kiss?"

It took a moment for Clarisse to register what he was saying and then remember the actual moment that occurred.

"Oh yes," she finally replied, her eyes, expression and smile softening and turning dreamy. "It was the one bright spot of what had been a terrible evening... Rupert was behaving dreadfully, flirting with every woman..."

She inwardly winced at the memory- despite her happiness with Joseph, Rupert's indifference and disrespect in most instances still hurt her.

"While every man was trying to hit on you, albiet discreetly,"" his jaw tightened slightly- he had been so disgusted at the behaviour of the male guests (although Clarisse had handled it well) that he had been hard pressed not to deck a few of them.

"Yet, as always, you came to my rescue..."

"Hardly to your rescue, you had already escaped!" he joked.

"Nevertheless, you came to my rescue... emotionally," Clarisse responded with a sweet smile, relaxing slightly and allowing her memory to wander...

_0000000_

_It was New Year's eve and the Winter Palace outside Lybitt was aglow with lights, the outside lights casting shadows on the freshly fallen snow that covered the palace grounds, and inside, the lights in the ballroom revealed a ball in full swing._

_All members of parliament and their wives were present, as well as a sprinkling or two of non parliamentary guests and the royal family- the King, His Majesty King Rupert, his Queen and their two songs, now in their late teens- all of whom were shadowed, albiet inobtrusively, by several dark suited bodyguards as they moved through the crowds, greeting and socialising with their guests._

_Rupert was thoroughly enjoying himself, as were his two sons, but his wife was miserable- although she managed to hide it successfully but, as the night passed and she danced with so many lecherous men and her husband flirted with every woman there, she was finding it increasingly difficult to maintain the facade. _

_She could sense Joseph, her loyal bodyguard, was watching her- but of course he was SUPPOSED to, it was his job- and she found that it was comforting her more than she realized._

_It was well after New Year's officially arrived (and Clarisse had received her perfunctory kiss from Rupert) and there was no sign of the party ending (not that it really mattered, as all of the guests were staying at the palace) that Clarisse had finally had enough- and the sight of Rupert dancing with yet another young, beautiful woman (clearly enjoying it far too much) was the final insult, although he had been like this at almost every ball, except this time he hadn't been so blatant and so insensitive, as if he didn't care- but she didn't want to make a scene or be noticed leaving, even by Joseph, her friend and bodyguard... before she suddenly found herself gliding almost inobtrusively out of the room- thankfully everyone else was either dancing or absorbed in conversation, so she didn't need to explain anything._

_She let out her breath when she finally stepped out into the cool, darkened marble foyer, and before she reached the stairs, she leant against the cool wall beside it and sighed again._

"_Your Majesty?" she heard behind her and Clarisse straightened up and turned to see Joseph standing only a few metres away- she should have known that he would instantly notice she had disappeared. _

"_Are you alright?" he stepped closer to her._

"_I'm fine," she gave him a small smile before she sighed again. "It's just been a long night."_

_"I can understand that," he said calmly. "All those dances with all those clumsy men... I know you're used to it, but I'm sure it gets boring and tiring."_

_"It does," she agreed. "...and the conversations usually leave a lot to be desired... but that wasn't it."_

_"What was it?" he pressed, moving even closer- he knew exactly why she was depressed and a little upset but she had to admit it first._

"_You know very well why," she said bitterly, looking away and brushing away a stray tear. "I didn't think I had to spell it out to a smart man like you," she snapped before she looked up at him, her eyes wide in horror and embarrassment. "Oh Joseph, I'm sorry! I didn't mean that!"_

_"I understand," he said mildly, finally standing in front of her and reached out to run his hands up and down her bare arms and gloves. "I do."_

_The compassion in his voice, as well as the look in his eyes made the tears fill her eyes faster and were teetering on the edge of spilling over... she wasn't surprised when he silently handed her his handkerchief and guided her upstairs- not that he was ashamed of comforting her, but he suspected them being seen so close together would cause a greater scandal that Rupert's behaviour all evening._

"_I'm sorry," she said in a small voice as they stopped in front of her suite doors- the guards were off on a break, returning only when she retired for the evening. "I guess I'm tired," she added as he opened the door for her and followed her in._

"_Not you're not," he said simply. "But you don't need to lie to me- I completely understand why you're feeling like this."  
"I never thought he would be so blatant in what he did... yes, he's done it so many, many times and often with the same women and I've learnt to accept that he's never going to find me physically attractive, but when I thought about that tonight... it made me feel old and unattractive..." before she began to weep into her hands, having tossed her gloves onto a table, and Joseph didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms, the dim light from the lamps and the fireplace making the room seem cozy, but neither of them noticed as Clarise, momentarily startled, relaxed into his arms._

"_You are NOT old and attractive," he murmured fiercely into her ear as he ran a hand up and down her back. "You never have been and you never will be... Rupert will always be an idiot for never appreciating you as he should... a jerk, an idiot..."_

_There was a pause after his outburst before Clarisse pulled away slightly to look up at him with an odd look._

"_You called Rupert an idiot?"_

_"Yes- it may not seem appropriate, but as far as Im concerned, he is one," he said defiantly, well aware he was blurring boundaries but he didn't care- not when the man in question had hurt his wife yet again._

"_Thank you," she said after a moment, her face softening in a smile. "I appreciate your words... you always seem to understand me."_

_"I know... did it help?" he longed to touch her face but didn't._

"_A little," she gave him a small sad smile._

"_Well, you are far more attractive- beautiful, in fact- and classier than many of the women downstairs and you always swill be... you've always been so much more than everyone else- you're so much starter, so much more compassionate and caring, so much more than any other woman I have ever met..." he trailed off as their eyes met and held, both of them almost painfully aware of the other and the growing tension that had been ever increasing between them lately and now, set to spill over..._

_Clarisse suddenly felt the urge to throw herself further into his arms- as it was, she was silently urging him to kiss her..._

_Joseph meanwhile couldn't believe he had said what he had said- for a moment, he had been so intent on convincing Clarisse that she was far better than Rupert in every aspect- but he was more aware of the fact that he really wanted to kiss her- her cheeks were still a brilliant pink from crying, her eyes still unusually bright, and her lips... so pink, so full, so tempting..._

_The seconds seemed to tick by, but neither of them moving, still staring at each other, willing the other to kiss them before Joseph finally plucked up the courage to move ever closer to her, if that was even possible, and tip her chin up so that her face was angled towards his, and then he gently pressed his lips on hers..._

_0000000_

"That was definitely a moment to remember," she agreed as she looked back at Joseph, her face flushed at the memory. "That kiss definitely made my new year... especially when everything seemed to dim around us and all I could remember and want that I was in your arms..."

"I really remember how that kiss went a little beyond what I was expecting..." he said with a wry smile- the moment he had pressed his lips on hers, everything had seemed to accelerate, including the intensity of the kiss- and he had only just managed to pull away from her, which was just as well otherwise he would have tried to seduce the Queen and he suspected Clarisse would have succumbed, a fact she confirmed only seconds later.

"Really? Not because you were upset?"

"Absolutely not!" she looked offended for a moment. "I would have... succumbed... because of that kiss and the way I felt about you..."

"I have an idea," he began with a wicked smile, standing up and slowly walking around to her side of the table. "Why don't we relive that moment?"

"That sounds lovely," she said with a half shy, half sly smile as she allowed him to help her up. "Only... what are you going to say to me to get that reaction again?"

"We both know I don't have to say anything..." he gave her a significant look as he tilted her chin up and she only smiled a little dazedly before he leaned over and their lips met...


	18. Term of Endearment

_A/N: another chapter up so soon, but I'm getting around to wrapping this story up!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

The moment their lips met, both Joseph and Clarisse realized how much they had missed during their temporary cold war- and how much they could still enjoy when they reconciled and finally sorted out their relationship.

The kiss electrified them both and their reactions were very, very similar- Clarisse wrapped her arms around his neck and almost clung to him while Joseph was torn between clearing the table with a dramatic sweep of his hand and gently lowering her down onto it or remaining remarkably chase and continuing to kiss her, his hands only exploring when she initiated it.

He was very relieved when it was Clarisse who pulled away but when he saw her, Joseph was very sure he was mirroring her physical reactions- flushed face, racing pulse, shallow breathing, trembling with emotion...

"Wow," Clarisse finally said as she sank back down onto her chair, feeling weak at the knees.

"Yes, wow," he echoed as he absently pulled his chair next to hers. "You pack a heck of a kiss, Clarisse."

"Even if I was a bad wife?" she sounded timid yet flattered- his reputation had been of a man's man, a ladies man who found women irresistable- and she had hardly been a woman of the world...

"You never were or are a bad wife," he said reassuringly yet firmly. "I wish you would get that through your head- just because things have been rocky between us, it doesn't mean that it's all on you- as we've previously agreed, we both contributed to our marital problems and we're working on that together... but going back to that kiss... you certainly know how to kiss, my love."

Clarisse felt her face warm up at the term of endearment- it had been so long since he had called her that or any other terms and she had missed it so much... hopefully he wouldn't notice.

However, Joseph immediately noticed the change of expression and complextion in his wife and immediately queried the change, much to her embarrassment.

"Why are you blushing, dearest?" he asked curiously and much to her mortification, the blush deepened.

"Oh...oh nothing," she managed to reply.

"Really?" he gave her a penetrating look and Clarisse had to look away for a moment- this idea of 'dating' was going very well- they WERE getting to know each other again, but the feelings that were rushing back... they were more intense than she had expected but, then again, they were what they had both enjoyed during their long courtship.

"Clarisse?" he prompted and she glanced shyly down at the table before looking back up at him.

"I was thinking about your compliment... and a term of endearment I haven't heard in months..." she looked away, squirming almost uncomfortably- but she wasn't uncomfortable.

"You certainly do know how to kiss," he reached over for her hand. "Even with your innocence..."

"And inexperience," Clarisse supplied.

"That too... you always knew how to kiss- you always knew how to knock my socks off."

"Really?" she brightened.

"Really," he affirmed with a squeeze of her hand. "As I've said on several occasions, Rupert never really truly appreciated you and his loss is my gain," he looked smug. "Your kisses have always been...earth shattering..."

"Oh really!" she almost snorted. "I don't believe that!"

"It's true... you may not appreciate or understand it, but my reputation as a ladies man means nothing to me and neither does our differing levels of experience- we connect on every level and we both know it."  
He paused for a moment to raise her hand to his lips.

"As for the term of endearment... you have no idea how long I've wanted to call you that or anything else... I've always wanted to call you something like that and now I can... I 'm going to make the most of it... _my love_," he breathed huskily, moving to the edge of her seat so that they were almost lip to lip, temptingly so, and she chuckled self consciously.

"We're supposed to be dating," she reminded him and the long lingering look he gave her almost completely destroyed her defenses, such as they were around him.

"I think we're getting past the dating stage," he gave her another look. "How do you feel about that?"

"I too think we're getting past that stage," she said after a moment. "It's just... the intensity of our feelings... has it always been like that for us?"

"For me, it has... does it scare you?" he asked, realizing he had never asked her this.

"A little," she admitted. "But in a good way... Rupert never made me feel like this and I... I was afraid of that what we felt for each other would burn out before too long.."

"But it didn't and it hasn't," he soothed calmly. "Obviously, judging from this kiss, the flame is burning just as brightly as ever and I honestly don't think the flame has ever been extinuished or ever will."

"You were always a romantic," she said fondly, caressing his cheek for a moment before pulling away. "However, romance may need to wait a little while..."

"Why?"

""Because of the washing up..." she waved her hand over the table at the discarded used dishes and he grinned.

"Of course... but after the washing up..." he trailed off significantly and she went red again, not only with embarrassment and modesty but also with excitement. "Just you wait, Madam Bonnell," he lowered his voice. "You are goingto get swept off your feet!"

0

The washing up was done in almost record time- both of them almost painfully aware of the physical presence of the other and the ever present chemisty between them- but it wasn't until they had finished (the task completed in virtual silence) and were standing in the middle of the room, that they were finally able to acknowledge it, although Clarisse felt more than a little shy around him.

Joseph had always been an incredibly charismatic, sexy, attractive, active man (even more than Rupert) and he had always dazzled her (and she could never have understood his attraction to her) but before their marriage, she had always managed to retain some level of calmness around him (it was the image she wanted to project, not wanting to be seen as innocent or desperate) but now... after all that had happened between them, any possible barriers she could construct weren't possible.

"So... what do we do now?" she asked after a moment, her cheeks beginning to burn- she wasn't quite sure what she wanted to happen tonight- but Joseph, sensing her discomfort, only guided her towards the sofa again.

"Why don't we watch some television for a while?"

"What about you sweeping me off my feet?" she teased, relieved.

"As I said before, you're just going to have to wait and see..."

As it turned out, one of Clarisse's favourite films was showing on television and, after a minor tussle (Clarisse wanted to watch something HE was interested in, Joseph was insisting they watch the film), they settled down to watch the film, both assuming their previous positions on the sofa, leaning against opposite arm rests, their feet meeting in the middle.

As the movie progressed, however, Joseph began creeping closer to Clarisse and she found herself doing the same thing until they discovered they were sitting beside each other, and Joseph boldly took the next step of taking her hand in his- a late gesture, considering the kiss they had shared, but nevertheless...

Clarisse blushed when it happened, again feeling like a schoolgirl, but she had to admit that the sensation felt lovely- and that was all that happened for the rest of the film's running time (although she was aware that he was watching her) until the credits began running up the screen and suddenly... she was in his arms again, his lips so close to hers...

"Are you ready to be swept off your feet?" he teased huskily.

"Does this mean we've passed the dating stage?"she teased in response.

"What do you think?"he almost growled, his amrs tightening around her.

"I think... we may have," she admitted coyly, but before she could say anythingmore, his lips were on hers and he was kissing her so fervently and so passionately that Clarisse found herself sinking back onto the sofa, not feeling at all like a prim and proper former Queen, mother and grandmother but, rather, a schoolgirl... a teenager... the woman she could have been if she'd married Joseph rather than Rupert...

"You are so beautiful," he breathed into her ear as he pulled away for a moment to look at her. "But..."

"But what?" she asked thickly.

"But... this is getting a little out of control..."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... I don't want to take advantage of you... and, according to our agreement, we're still supposed to be taking it slowly."

"Then why start this?" she looked confused, her head still swimming from his kisses, before her expression softened. "But I do appreciate your consideration of my feelings."

"Your feelings have always been my top consideration," he said simply and was about to lean forward to kiss her again before he notcied the small frown puckering up her forehead. "What? What's wrong?"

"Well I was thinking before... you were always such a ladies man and such a man's man- so charismatic, so handsome- I'm sure you enjoyed the company of more experienced women... I never thought about it seriusly until now but I want to ask you something- why me?"

"What do you mean by that?" Joseph asked after a moment of staring at her in disbelief.

"As I've said before, you're definitely a vibrant man who definitely have attracted so many women to you... I just often wondered... why me?"

"Why not you?" he countered after a moment. "I've always been attracted to you, not because of who you were but because you were and are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out, and while I'll admit that I WAS a ladies man and, given different circumstances, we may never have met, but there was always something about you... something special... and when we became friends, it was hard to ignore what was happening between us... I can't explain it," he reached over and touched his wife's cheek for a moment.

"I've always been physically attracted to you, no questions asked- I am a man- but it was our friendship, your personality and the chemistry between us that really attracted me to you... do you feel better about it now?"

"A little," she replied in a small voice by with a sly smile. "Should we take to this bedroom?" she waved at both of them, clothes rumpled and breathing only just returning to normal.

"You're sure about this?" he looked at her quizzically. "It's not going too fast for you?"

"No," Clarisse said with a seductive smile as she ran a hand down his shirt covered chest and began squirming, ready to get up, but he playfully pinned her down on the sofa and nuzzled her neck with his lips, eliciting a soft moan from her lips.

"It's much, much warmer out here and... this sofa is not only a sofa but a pull out bed, already made because I thought that I may have to sleep out here...:" he explained hastily as she arched an eyebrow. "Does that sound appealing?" he looked at her significantly and she simultaneously blushed and giggled.

"It sounds very... appealing... this is going to be anight to remember... "

"Indeed," he affirmed before she pulled him back down by his shirt for another passionate kiss, their hands simultaneously beginning to unbutton their respective shirts, quite unlike the last time this had happened only days earlier...

So absorbed were Joseph and Clarisse were in each other, clothes melting away in the heat of the moment, they barely heard Joseph's mobile ringing from the kitchen table- Clarisse did murmur something about him answering it, but Joseph only mumbled "leave it" before they both completely turned out and forgot about the phone, not even pausing to wonder who was calling them and why...


	19. I Love You

_A/N: I'm on a roll! One of these ideas in here may develop into another story (here's hoping) so it's an edited version..._

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! You all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries don't belong to me!_

Clarisse didn't know how or when they did it, but it was much later in the evening (if not early in the morning) when she finally realized they were comfortably ensconced- albiet with no clothes- in the bed that had formerly been the sofa, the television still blaring, happily snuggled up together. The fire was still burning well but she could see that it was gradually dying down and would probably need stoking up.

She wasn't sure if Joseph was awake or not, but as she began shifting towards the edge of the bed to do that and turn the television off, she felt his arm, which had been draped across her waist, tighten and pull her back towards him.

"Where do you think YOU are going?" came a husky whisper in her ear.

"I WAS going to turn the television off and stoke up the fire," she explained as she wriggled around in his arms so face him. "However..."

"I can do that," he said easily, gently disentangling himself from her to slip out of bed to do exactly what Clariss had been intending on doing.

"So," he began lightly, slipping back into bed next to her. "Are we married again?"  
"I don't know," she mused, running a hand up and down his chest. "After this evening, I would think so, but then again, I don't know what YOU think...after all, maybe one or both of us might prefer our freedom or playing the field..."

He chuckled at the analogy she used, fairly sure she never used it before, before he frowned, pretending to consider her question.

"Hmmm... playing the field was rather fun..." he ran a hand up her smooth side, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from her. "Especially with the big session before on the sofa..." he teased, caressing her again. "But I think I would rather be married to one woman- you," he leaned over to kiss the tip of her nose. "Seriously, how do you feel?"

There was a pause as Clarisse considered the question- how DID she feel, she wondered- they had finally made love again and, unlike the last time, it hadn't been rushed and frantic, a reaction to the argument they had been having... and it had been wonderfully, dizzingly romantic in front of the fire...

Joseph himself was a little concerned at the pause- he hadn't pushed her, but still...

"I think," she began slowly, trailing her hand back down his muscular chest again. "I think... I definitely enjoyed that kissing session before," she blushed at the memory. "It made me feel like a teenager again."

"I think teenagers would call what we did earlier- much, much earlier," he clarified with a broad grin. "As a make out session."

"Well I enjoyed that- I've never felt like that before you came into my life, and you've definitely broadened my horizons. I feel wonderful and I hope we can keep this up."

"We will," he vowed, pressing her knuckle to his lips.

"But I DO know that I want to be with you, married to you, and all the difficulties are more than worth it."  
"I'm sorry for doubting you," he murmured, moving closer.

"I understand why you did... and I'm sorry for being so negligent to you and our relationship... you, along with Pierre and Mia, are the most important person in my life."

"I love you," he said simply, their eyes meeting and holding.

"I love you too," she responded, her eyes filling with tears- it had been so long since either of them had said that- before he leaned over and kissed her again and it was a long time before either of them resurfaced again later in the evening, neither of them wanting to fall asleep- this reconciliation had been a long time coming and they didn't want to miss a second of it.

"Do you remember the other time we were here?" Clarisse asked after a moment. "That time when we..."

"Finally admitted our feelings to each other? Yes I do- it was one of the..." before he stopped himself. "I do, but I didn't want to bring it up because when it happened..."

"It was when Rupert was involved in yet another cheating scandal," Clarisse said flatly, looking away for a moment before looking back at him. "However, getting away and being alone with you helped a great deal and what happened between us..." her eyes softened. "It was one of the best moments of my life... as you were going to say," she added wth a smile. "I was just glad you got me out of there in time!"

"You were the one who suggested it!"

"Luckily for me... I would have gone completely crazy if I had stayed there!"

_0000000_

_The car trip to the cabin had been a very silent one, unusual for several reasons- instead of sitting in the back, Clarisse was sitting in the passenger seat beside Joseph; she was unusually silent'they were alone with no other bodyguards following behind them; and the biggest reason why they were speaking was that Clarisse had unofficially left Rupert._

_Rupert had always been a womanizer and had been cheating on his wife for years and everyone knew about it, but this latest infidelity... the press had had blown it up to unbearable proportions, splashing it over the papers and on television and Clarisse had finally snapped, coming to the conclusion that it was time to give him a taste of his own medicine, although it wouldn't be through a retaliatory affair of her own. She would leave him._

"_You can't leave me!" Rupert complained when she had stormed in to inform him of that. "We are King and Queen- we're supposed to be setting an example!"_

_"Obviously that was something you forgot when you betrayed me yet again," she retorted angrily. "I am not leaving permanently, but I just need some time away from you."_

_"You're not going alone, are you?"_

_"Of course not... but I only want my personal bodyguard with me, no one else, and I'll talk to you when I get back."_

_Joseph didn't say a word when the Queen informed him she was leaving and she wanted only him to accompany her- he was ready within fifteen minutes, after hastily packing a suitcase and ensuring that his colleagues would be fine without him- and when he stepped into the suite, Her Majesty (he didn't dare think of her via her first name given the mood she was in, not that he blamed her, given the circumstances) was pacing the living room in agitation, two suitcases standing near the doorway._

"_Are you ready?" he asked quietly._

"_Yes," she avoided his eyes. "I just want to get out of here."_

_"Did you want to go to the Winter Palace?"_

_"Definitely not!" she looked distressed. "Anywhere else, please... please Joseph," she looked at him in despair and he suddenly knew where he could take her._

_There was no visibly reaction from Clarisse when the cabin came into view, but Clarisse murmured: "Thank you" softly as he helped her out of the car._

"_Anything I can do to help, Your Majesty," he said simply and she paused to give him a sad look._

"_Please Joseph, call me Clarisse... I feel so alone."_

_"Alright Clarisse... it's what I wanted to do."_

_0_

_Much later, after he had given her a tour of the cabin, taken her luggage into the only bedroom and silently left her alone while he built a fire (it was mid November and the weather was cooling down considerably) and ensured that they had everything they needed for now (although he could always get one of the bys to bring out any other necessities), Clarisse finally emerged from the bedroom, looking pale but much calmer and having changed into a pair of slacks and a woollen jumper._

"_Thank you for bringing me here," she said again and he only smiled sympathetically._

"_It was the least I could do... how do you feel?"_

_"Numb," she said listlessly as she sat down at the table and fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth. "It's happened so many times I thought I would be used to it, but this time..." she shrugged. "It was one time too many... I suppose you know all about it?" she finally met his eyes, making himfeel guilty._

"_Yes, only this morning," he said apologetically. "I..."_

_"I know, you would have told me if you could have..." she sighed before she looked at her hands again, a wave of humiliation and mortification suddenly overwhelming her._

_"Oh Joseph," ehe choked out. "What am I going to do?" before she buried her head in her hands, the sounds of soft sobbing emerging as her shouldes shook and Joseph didn't hesitate to move forward, pull her up and wrap his arms around her- the woman he loved was in pain and while he was more than furious at Rupert, he would be there for her- and, after a moment's hesitation, she relaxed completely, sobbing into his leather jacket._

"_I don't know what's going to happen, Clarisse, but you know that you will always have me on your side," he whispered into her hair, and while she heard it, she was too distraught to do anything but cling to him... how on earth was she going to get through this?_

_0_

_The next day or so were spent in relative silence, conversation kept casual and iniated only when Clarisse wanted it, and the news was definitely avoided whenever the television was on. Joseph didn't push for any serious conversation, waiting until she was ready, which was the evening of the second day._

"_I'm sure the press are still all over this story. I wonder what the palace is doing about it."_

_"We both know that- no comment, the palace doesn't wish to discuss it... do you want to call him?" he stood up from the sofa and was about to walk towards the table where his mobile was before she shook her head fervently._

"_No, I don't want to speak to him yet... I'm not sure I even want to SEE him again!"_

_"You can't..." he began as he sat down next to her._

"_I know that- we're the King and Queen of a country, we are not allowed to divorce, although I would have more than enough ammunition to get one... but just getting away from for even a few days... I need it."_

_"Then it was a good idea- you don't deserve this happening to you, you never have- Rupert is..."_

_"An idiot?" she turned to him with a smile, still remembering when he had said that, the night they had shared their first kiss. "Maybe it is just as well that I'm your boss, not him?"_

_"Maybe so, and maybe it wasn't my finest moment... but I stand by what I said, even more so now."_

_"And I truly appreciate it.. you are the one person I can really trust- no only to protect me physically and emotionally but to tell me the truth when I need it... and to sometimes agree with me... sometimes," she reiterated with a smile._

"_I AM your bodyguard, so I have to protect you... but I also WANT to protect you as well... as for the other two... I do them because I'm your friend."_

_"Yes, you are my friend," she agreed, her eyes still on his. "My best friend- and I don't know what I would do without you... especially at times like these..." she finished sadly, looking back into the fire, and she looked so vulnerable and so lost that Joseph again didn't hesitate in offering physical comfort- in this instance, moving over to sit closer to him and wrap his arm around her, Clarisse immediately rest back against his shoulder._

"_I feel better when I'm with you- I always have," she continued after a moment. "That's why I wanted to go somewhere away from the palace with only you... although," she pulled away slightly to look at him. "I never thought that this might have been inconvenient for you... was it?"_

_"No- as I said before, my job is to protect YOU, so if you aren't around, I wouldn't have anything to do... besides, you needed to stay and I was able to offer that to you"_

"_There's no where else I would rather be," she said honestly before snuggling into him again- she probably shouldn't be doing this, she thought to herself, but she felt so comfortable and relaxed with Joseph, she always had._

_There was a long, steady, comfortable silence after that, both of them staring into the fire before, almost unexpectedly, Joseph's hand began stroking her hair, a movement that Clarisse enjoyed and a movement that slowly lulled her towards sleep before she heard:_

_"I love you," and she sat bolt upright, unable to believe it._

"_What!"_

"_Nothing," he said hastily., averting his eyes- he had thought that she had gone to sleep when he had said that. "I shouldn't have said that."_

_"But you did... did you really say what I thought you said... that you... you love me?" she finished softly. "Joseph?" she prodded as he continued to avoid her gaze before she gently but firmly guided his face towards hers. "Joseph?"_

_"I shouldn't have said it... it's not the most appropriate time and you are a married woman."_

_"But you said it, just as you've kissed me before... and you meant it?"_

_"Yes," he finally met her eyes. "I love you... very, very much."_

_"Oh Joseph," she said softly, her eyes filling with tears of joy. "I love you too... I always have."_

_There was the slightest of pauses before he leaned over and kissed her- it was quite unlike the first kiss nearly a year ago, but it was still warmly, friendly and loving- and Clarisse, in that moment, finally found peace._

_0000000_

"It was hardly the most appropriate time for me to admit that," he said sheepishly and she smiled sleepily. "You were still married and I knew you took those vows seriously."

"Even so, it was the right time for us... I needed to know that someone loved me... and that was only the beginning- our friendship and love deepened and grew over time... and I never betrayed my vows, although it was tempting at times."

"I didn't want you to do that, or would have let you do that- no matter how desirable you were and are- but now...we have all the time in the world... and I think we should probably get some rest..." she snuggled up to him and they were both confident that, as they both drifted off to sleep, that, at this moment in time, things between them were almost back to normal...


	20. A Minor Problem

_A/N: a short chapter, but still vital to the storyline! LOL!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

The sun was high in the sky, the sun rays spilling into the room and making even the light rom the fire superfluous, when Joseph and Clarisse awoke, still snuggled happily in each other's arms.

It took a moment for both of them to gather their thoughts and remember where they were before Joseph leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Good morning dear," he said huskily and she looked up at him with a beam, albiet a sleepy one.

"Good morning."

"How you do you feel?" he asked gently as they both fluffed up their respective pillows and sat up, leaning against the back of the sofa.

"I feel wonderful," she admitted with a slightly shy smile- she couldn't believe it, she was still shy around him, after all this, but she was... "I can't believe we stayed up all night."

"Yes, and not only talking but... other things..." he gave her a significant look and she blushed deeply at the words and the memory it evoked. "I know I enjoyed myself."

"I did too," she reached over and caressed his cheek. "It was a new thing for me, staying up all night but it was more than worth it."

"I agree..." before he leaned over to kiss her, a kiss that was interrupted seconds later with the sound of his mobile ringing again breaking into the moment, and he made a low groan in his throat as he pulled away and climbed out of bed.

"I thought they all knew they weren't to contact us while we're here unless strictly necessary," he muttered to himself as he strode over to the table where his phone had been abandoned since the previous evening.

"Hello?!" he snapped into the phone.

"Grandpa? Joe?" It was Mia and she sounded panicked.

"Sorry Mia, yes it is... are you alright?" he asked calmly, although his heart constricted at the thought of something happening to her as, simultaneously, he became aware of the fact that Clarisse had sat bolt upright in bed behind him and was ferreting around for her robe, which he had brought out sometime during the night.

"Yes, I'm fine as is Pierre... but Joe... I need you to wake Grandma and turn on the television to the local news channel!" she was so panicked that she didn't pause to consider that they were still asleep at this time of the day.

"What for?"

"Just do it!" she was surprisingly insistent and Joseph nodded as he reached for the remote control.

"Of course, Princess... and your grandmother is awake," he added before, avoiding Clarisse's outstretched hand and quizzical expression, he switched on the tv and turned over to the channel she instructed, where the annoying Elsie Kentworthy was hosting "Eggs with Elsie", a progam that had all been avoiding since last July.

Both of them were momentarily confused- why were they watching this- and Joseph was about to ask Mia that before, on camera, Elsie turned back to the television audience, a surprisingly concerned expression on her face.

"Ever since their wedding last July, the former Queen of Genovia and her former Head of Security have certainly kept us wondering about their past and present relationships, piquing out interest especially since they have stayed out of the public arena, and we assumed that they were living happily ever after... but disturbing rumours are coming to light that claim that the newlyweds aren't as happy as they claim to be."

"WHAT?!" Clarisse almost shrieked as, on her end of the line, Mia winced at the sound of her voice.

"...a source who was at a recent dinner party told me that the tension between the royal couple was palpable and the evening culminated with Joseph openly declaring that he "wasn't happy being married."

"I did not say that!" he countered hotly off screen.

"In addition, our source tells us that Her Majesty and Mr Bonnell are very unhappy together and have barely been speaking for months, thanks to their workaholic attitudes and that they are close to separating."

Both of them silently cursed under their breaths at that- Joseph slightly louder than his wife.

"The palace refuses to confirm or deny anything- as they do in instances like this- and the couplein question have apparently disappeared completely so I have to ask: what are we to believe? We all rejoiced at the fairytale wedding that, according to some, was a long time coming and hoped that they would find happiness in their retirement years."

"Some were more likely to question my sanity after that happened," Clarisse muttered angrily under her breath.

"However, it took so long for the relationship to be brought out into the open, I have to wonder- was the Queen ashamed of her relationship with a lowly bodyguard?"

"I was not and he was no lowly bodyguard!" she snapped to herself.

"Maybe we all need to consider the fact, in the light of these stories and the fact that they haven't been seen in public for the past months, that sometimes happily ever afters don't work out... and maybe a Queen and a bodyguard might not be meant to be together..."

"Oh be quiet!" Clarisse snaped in annoyance before signalling Joseph to turn it off, which he did silently, forgetting that Mia was on the other line until he heard a timid:

"Joe?" at his ear and he quickly turned his attention back to that while Clarisse stared disbelievingly at the blank television screen.

"Mia."

"Is there anything I can do? I swear, if I had known about any of this, or whoever said it... I'm pretty sure it wasn't anyone in the palace walls..."

"We both know you would have done what you could to have prevented this," he said sincerely before Clarisse suddenly spoke up.

"Tell Mia we'll call her back," and, vaguely astonished, he repeated the message to Mia, who readily agreed, and hung up.

Once the line was disconnected, Joseph sat back down next to her on the bed.

"So?"

"Hmmm?" she continued gazing blankly at the screen- she had hoped that this would never become public knowledge, but someone had betrayed them...

"Do you want to go back? To sort all of this out?"

"No, I do not!" she snapped, finally coming alive again, before she turned to him, her expression immediately regretful. "I'm sorry, darling, I didn't mean that."

"I understand," and he did. "What do you want to do... this is because of me."

"It's because of BOTH of us," she emphasized the 'both' strongly.

"No, I shouldn't have said anything at the meal... someone obviously sold the story to the press."

"Ohviously," she snorted, disgusted before she sighed again. "I'm sorry again, I just... I don't know, I don't know... I do know that I don't want to go back to sort this out- I'm tired of sorting everything out for everyone else... what do you think we should do?"

"I'm hardly an expert in media relations, my love- I'm more than happy to follow your lead in this matter."

"But you, as my husband, as a man who wasn't trained or used to the establishment, what do you think?"

"I'm furious," he said after a moment's consideration. "This is an invasion of OUR privacy and I've NEVER been a fan of the press, you know that... the way they made your life a living misery..."

"Be that as it may, do you have an suggestions?" she said impatiently and he regarded her calmly for a moment.

"This is not my fault Clarisse, so please don't take it out on me- this involves both of us, so I'm thinking..."

"I'm sorry... again... I'm just so angry that they did this to us... I was hoping that they would leave us alone and that our marital problems wouldn't be splashed around in the press..." she whispered almost tearfully an d he, softening immediately, reached over to squeeze her hand sympatheteically.

"I understand."

"Do you think a statement would suffice?" A simple statement that lets everyone know that we appreciate their concern but all is well between us... or something to that affect."

"Whatever you want, I'm happy with as well,... did you want a cup of tea?" he offered as he stood and headed towards the kitchen.

"Yes please," she said absently before she too rose from the bed, wrapping her robe around her and sat down at the table, feeling melancholy- everything had been working out so well between them, and now this... why couldn't people simply leave them alone?"

"Do you want any help with it?" he offered as he set down her tea in front of her and sat down opposite her.

"Thank you, but I think Charlotte will do a good job with writing it for us..."

"You would do just as good a job, if not better," he encouraged with a proud smile. "Are you sure you don't want to go to Pyrus to do this?"

"No," she shook her head. "As I've finally realized, it's time to let go and allow others to take the lead in Genovia... and I honestly couldn't think of a poorer excuse to go back than to cater to the whims of the the press and the parliament... I WANT to stay here," she reached over and rested her hand on top of his.

"This has been the best almost week of my life... aside from our first honeymoon," she amended hastily. "I don't want to go back until we have to, and even then... I think things have to change..."

His breath caught- was it really possible that she was about to make major concessions to their life (not that he had ever doubted that she would), but before he could say anything more, or Clarisse added to it, she looked around.

"I have got what I want to say... is there paper and a pen around?"

There was a silence as she quickly wrote down what she was going to say- as per usual, Joseph marvelled at how quickly she wrote, and yet how neat her handwriting was- before Clarisse smoothly slid the pad over to him.

"What do you think?"

"_While the palace doesn't comment on such matters, Mr and Mrs Joseph Bonnell (formerly Queen Clarisse Renaldi) very much appreciate your concern about our relationship, but we are pleased to inform you that everything is well between us and we are very much looking forward to our future together," _he read out loud.

"What do you think?" she asked anxiously after he had finished reading and there was a silence- maybe she had done the wrong thing, maybe there was too much detail, maybe she was speaking too much for both of them- before he looked up with a grin- and tears in his eyes.

"What?"

"You didn't use your title as who you are... you called yourself Mrs Bonnell..."

"That's who I am now," she said firmly with a proud tilt of her chin. "I wanted to be Queen, and while it had to define who I was until very recently, now I'm ready to have a new title and position in life... as your wife, and I want to be known as that."

"You know that it probably won't be possible in Genovia... if not the entire world?"

"I know... but I am your wife, and that's the most important role to me... that, and Mia's grandmother and Pierre's mother, of course... " before she paused for a moment and looked at him, her head cocked to one side.. "Does it bother you that I will probably always be known as Her Majesty?"

"No," he shook his head definitely. "I'm proud that my wife is the former Queen of Genovia (and not only the grandmother of the current Queen, but the mother of the potential next Archbishop of Genovia)... but you have just told me what I wanted to hear... that being my wife is what you want now," he said as she gave him a quizzical look. "That's what I wanted to know... thank you."

"You're welcome..." she said softly before he stood and leaned over the table to kiss her, again a kiss that was interrupted seconds later by the sound of a phone, but this time they looked at each other and laughed- even though she was told to wait, they both knew that she wouldn't,

"MIA!"


	21. Negotiations

_A/N: finally coming to the end, but I'm sure they'll live happily ever after after this!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

"Grandma?" Mia's first word was full of tension and timidity- she wasn't quite sure her grandmother wasn't upset with her- not only for the press sensationalizing their problems but calling when she was told to wait (and she was ready for the telling off she was about to receive)- but Clarisse surprised her with a warm greeting.

"Good morning, darling!"

"You... you're not angry with me?" came after a tiny pause.

"Why would I be angry with you?"

"Well, for what the press said... and then calling back when I knew you were going to call me..." the younger woman sounded so serious that Clarisse felt sorry for- and she realized that she probably hadn't made Mia's life any easier by not letting go completely when she should have.

"Dearest, I am not angry at you for either of those things or anything else."

"But I should have known that someone would have sold out to the press..." she was convinced she herself was to blame for this entire mess.

"Mia, it's alright," Clarisse said firmly. "I don't want you to torture yourself over this- people will always try to sell scandalous stories about us to the press and people will buy them, even if they aren't true- I've learnt that the hard way over the years and you too have experienced that- from last year as well- and you will continue to learn about it during your reign... unfortunately for us... but at least you weren't the in the headlines!" she teased gently and could then sense her granddaughter smile on the other end.

"True... but are you and Joe... Grandpa alright? I mean, this isn't exactly putting you in the best light."

"True enough, but we're fine..."

"Really?"

"Really," Clarisse affirmed. "In fact, we've already prepared a statement which I want you, with Sebastian's approval, to release to the media as soon as possible... I know one of the boys are coming out here to check on us so we'll send it back with them.."

"Wow, you're quick!" Mia blurted out before recovering quickly. "But that's good... and Sebastian has already informed me that he fully supports whatever you choose to do.. so, you've already got the statement done?"

"Yes..." before she read it out, "What do you think?" and Joseph, listening in, smiled- Clarisse was showing respect to the current monarch, asking her opinion- and it was clear to Clarisse that Mia was flattered at the show of respect and asking her opinion.

"I think it's great, Grandma, and I happily approve of it's release to the press."

"They don't know where we are?"

"Absolutely not- no one knows about the existence of the cabin so I'm sure they won't go anywhere near Lybitt... So, you're not coming back to the palace to really sort this out?"

"No, I don't think so," Clarisse said after a fraction of an instant. "I know everyone expects a swift, personal response but I...we," she amended with a quick look at her husband. "...Feel that our marriage is our business, no one else's and that's it... as for my own personal opininon, I've given almost my entire life to Genovia as Queen, and while I will always support you when necessary, it's time for our lives to go in two different directions- I as a wife, you as Queen."

Joseph's jaw dropped at her words- she REALLY was serious about the changes in lifestyle and in life- before he quickly turned away before she could see his reaction.

"Well, I'll support you two too and since your statement is your own reaction to this, then I will do everything in my limited power to ensure that the press understands that."

"Spoken like a true Queen," Clarisse said approvingly.

"That sounds very familiar," Mia joked. "But thank you- I'm glad I'm starting to SOUND like a Queen... so, still won't see you back for a while? But that's a good thing..."

"Not yet... why? Are you needing my assistance? "

"Not at the moment..." there was a skip of a beat. "I still have to clean up from the massive party I hosted a few days ago, the palace is still a mess, so maybe it's just as well you don't come back just yet..." and while Clarisse was momentarily horrified, she immediately realized that Mia was joking, as evidenced by the giggles of mirth erupting from her granddaughter.

The two of them spoke a moment or two longer- Mia relieved that neither Joseph nor Clarisse weren't angry with her and Clarisse reassuring her of the same- before they hung up and Clarisse collapsed back against her chair with a happy sigh.

"Everything alright?" he inquired as he rejoined her at the table- he had moved away slightly to give them so semblence of privacy, but he had heard everything- and she nodded.

"Fine- Mia is perfectly happy with what WE came up with," she strongly emphasized the 'we'. "...And she'll do what she can to support us."

"I thought she would," before he paused for a moment. "So. Now what?" he looked at her expectantly.

"Well..." she began slowly as she stood up and stretched. "We should have some lunch, remake the bed and get dressed...although..." she looked down, realizing her robe was the only thing covering her. "I do need a shower."

"Would you like some company?" he too stood up, only with a sly expression on his face, and she laughed, again feeling like a schoolgirl, only she wasn't... she was a very married woman, crazy about her husband and it was clear that the feeling was mutual... she had never doubted it, only forgotten it- but now it was all coming back to her.

"I don't know..." she looked and sounded coy as she slowly inched her way, backwards, towards the bathroom. "If you can catch me before the door closes, you can... although it might get too warm in there..." before she almost spun on her heel and dashed to the bathroom, chuckling as she felt him behind her... yes, it was time for them to get more fun in their life and that would mean giving up work completely for both of them but that was something, now, she wouldn't mind doing... in fact, the last thought that crossed her mind before Joseph pounced on her in the bathroom, was that it was time for some serious life changes...

00000

The next week passed by happily and, unfortunately, far too quickly for Joseph and Clarisse, although they were still fairly isolated from the rest of the country, aside from that brief visit from their bodyguards, and even more so when they had an unusually heavy snow fall in late January and they couldn't leave the cabin- not that either of them wanted to...

Thus they spent most of their time inside either talking, reading (Joseph had accumulated a wonderful, extensive collection of books), watching television and continuing to rekindle their romance.

After their first night out on the sofa- which, despite it's appearance, was extremely comfortable- Joseph had suggested they move out there for their nights, Clarisse had readily agreed and she had to admit that it was far warmer and cozier in the main living room, almost opposite the fire and the television nearby...and much, much more romantic as they usually ended up falling asleep in each others arms, content that the press had published their statement and hadn't bothered them again (although there were still snide comments from Elsie).

"I'm going to miss this," Clarisse said half sadly one evening after they had 'retired' early for the evening- meanting that they, again carried away by the feelings that had been reawakened and were still just as passionate as ever- had virtually tumbled into bed, only coming to their senses much later in the evening.

Neither of them had spoken about a specfic, set return date to the palace, but Joseph and Clarisse both knew that they had to return, if only for a while- February had arrived, spring was just around the corner and there were people who expected to see them back... yet they also didn't want to go back...

"Miss what? Us spending each night on a fold out sofa?" he teased gently as he began stroking her hair. "Us... making love as we did on our honeymoon? Reading and talking about nothing in particular?"

"All of it," she said simply. "This past fornight has made me realize that I really DO want the simple life...maybe we could even have that away from the palace."

Joseph stiffened slightly at her words- aside from the small clues she had verbally expressed earlier in their visit, she hadn't expanded on those clues since- but tried to remain casual.

"Oh? Do you have some ideas?"

Clarisse paused for a moment before she purposefully sat up in the bed, fluffing up her pillows as she went.

"Yes... Joseph, we need to talk," she sounded and looked so serious that Joseph instantly became concerned and followed suit.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I know this seems very unromantic but I've been thinking about this and we need to set some conditions to agree to for when we return to the palace."

"Oh?" he was intrigued and pleased that Clarisse had been thinking about this- this meant that she was taking their marriage seriously and that, finally, it didn't come second to everything else in Clarisse's life. "What conditions were you thinking of proposing?"

"I thought we could consider and agree on them together... my main ideas are a) that I give up working with Mia completely unless she really, truly needs me (and if there are any occasions where we need to go anywhere, you come with me) and; b) that we go travelling much more together."

"Travelling?" he sounded amused- the first condition made sense to him- he had been waiting on this for six months- but the second was a little baffling. "Travelling?"

"Yes, travelling," his wife affirmed. "I've been to most places in the world."

"As have I."

"But I want to visit these places again with you and only you, as an almost private citizen, at my side rather than being behind the scenes, ensuring my safety and missing out on so much."

"I didn't miss out on much!"

"Nevertheless, you didn't see everything... I want to see everything with you, not as a monarch and I think we should get completely away from Genovia, even if in brief times."

"It may not happen that way," he reminded her gently. "You will probably always attract attention wherever you go and you will always be known as a Queen..."

"Even so, I'll be able to enjoy it all with YOU and that's what matters to me."

"Then I'll be happy to agree to that condition," before he paused. "I need to ask- about the work situation... are you really ready to give it up completely?"

"Yes," she looked at him unflinchingly. "I know I need to let go and let Mia go her own way... and I don't want to lose you."

"Is that all?" he hoped it wasn't.

"No... also, I don't want to work anymore, especially as hard as I used to... I'm ready for a new life and I'm ready for some changes in my life... what do you have in mind?"

"I don't have any conditions really- I don't want to be flat out with work anymore- Shades can definitely do without me...otherwise... I want to spend more time with YOU, enjoy our new life together and lead a more simple life."

"Anything else?"

"I want you to stop worrying about every little thing, especially what other people think of you or us..."

"That's easier said than done," she said wryly.

"I know you can do it... will you try?" he leaned over to gaze deeply into her eyes and she nodded a little bemusedly.

"I will try..." she vowed before he pulled away.

"So, what are the other changes we have to talk about- we've already decided we're both giving up our unnecessary jobs, we're going to travel more..."

"...Spend more time together," Clarisse continued. "Lead a simpler life... stop worrying about what everyone else thinks AND make the decisions together," she finished firmly and Joseph nodded in agreement.

"...And we can always make other conditions as time goes along," he added reasonably and she nodded.

"There was one other thing I wanted to discuss...living arrangements."

"Living arrangements? You mean, you stay in your suite and I'll have my own suite?"

"No... I was thinking more of our own place, away from the palace, somewhere we can really set up our life."

"You're overthinking again, my love- we already have two homes, aside from the suite at the palace, to call our own- here and the beach house, and if we're going to be travelling more, why have another house?"

"True," she looked sheepish. "I wasn't really thinking... so, do we have a deal on our negotiations?" her voice turned professional as she held out a hand towards him.

"I think so... only I'm not sealing our deal with a handshake,"" he moved slightly closer to her as she arched an eyebrow.

"Oh? How will you be sealing it?"

"With a kiss?" before he proceeded to do just that, a soft moan escaping from her throat... sealing their deal with a kiss... "And," he continued after a moment as she slowly weaved her arms around his neck. "We really should be going back to the palace soon..."

"Why?" she almost sounded like a petulant child.

"So we can come back here sooner rather than later!" he reasoned and she chuckled before he kissed her again and that effectively ended the conversation.


	22. Homecoming

_A/N: One more chapter to go, I think, and then onto something new and positive!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me- only the storyline!_

Two days later, as per their agreement, the familiar black palace limousine made its way down the rough lane to the cabin, most of the snow having melted away in the past few days, to collect Joseph and Clarisse and return them to the palace.

Clarisse, who had been watching for them from the front window, sighed heavily as she turned away and surveyed the clean living room, just it had been when they had arrived- the sofa bed now simply a sofa, the fireplace empty and clean and their luggage waiting in a corner, the only sign that someone had been there.

The room itself had witnessed so much in the past fortnight- scenes of pain and passion; silence and conversation; iciness and warmth- and while she had been used to and ejoyed (she had to be honest) the comforts and luxurious surroundings of the palace, Clarisse had discovered that she enjoyed the simple life even more than her previous existence- and what made it all the better was that she would be sharing it with Joseph, the love of her life...

"Are you alright?" she suddenly heard from beside her and she turned slightly to see him emerging from the bathroom, having checked to see that they hadn't forgotten anything, not that anyone else would be staying here.

"I'm fine, I was just thinking that this cabin has witnessed even more moments of drama and pain over the past few weeks."

"And happiness," he reminded her, strolling over to take her hand. "Especially over the past week... but don't forget that we can always come back here whenever we want."

"True," she smiled at him. "I never thought I would be a lady with several properties at my disposal," she added teasingly.

"Including two palaces?" he continued the teasing.

"Well, technically the palaces belong to Genovia and the royal family family only has life long tenancy, as long as a blood Renaldi is on the throne... but I suppose I could consider them my own, if only temporarily... although the rest of the country already think I own it all anyway, so who am I to dissuade them?" she gave him a smug smile as she mused and he laughed as he heard the knock on the door, signalling the presence of their bodyguards, before holding out a hand to her.

"Are you ready to return to the palace, my wealthy, numerous property owner wife?" and she chuckled.

"Whenever you're ready, my love," she acquiesced with an agreeable smile and he did a double take.

"Are you sure you're sure about allowing me to take the lead sometimes, and making decisions together?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" she gave him an odd look. "I thought we agreed on this- I've been in control far too long and we should make decisions together... from now on... and I'm more than happy for you take the lead if you want too... in fact, I know I want you to."

0

The trip back to the palace was almost as silent as when they had left it two weeks earlier, but the atmosphere was considerably different as they headed back to the palace and real life- they were both relaxed and content and happily holding hands, separated from the the driver and bodyguard by the partition that had been put up almost as soon as they had left, watching the scene pass by.

"Are you ready to return to the palace?" he asked halfway through the journey and she turned to look at him.

"I am... I wish I wasn't always needed by Mia, selfish as that may sound, and that people may think I should be always with her while she's learning the ropes, but I want our granddaughter to succeed in this, prove that she is just as good, if not better than me..."

"Which is something she doesn't want to do- you are you and Mia is Mia- both good Queens in your respective ways," he reminded her quietly and his words gave her pause for a moment.

"True... but I do want to be around for her, when she really needs me... but I want to be there for you as well," she added hastily and he nodded as he moved closer to her.

"I understand..." before he kissed her, to her surprise and delight.

"What are you doing?"

"Just enjoying the last remaining moments of our second honeymoon... I wonder when we could be eligible for our third... and fourth..."

"Not for a while," she said lightly, giving him a light kiss on the cheek before squeezing his hand. "As for returning the palace, besides Mia and Pierre being there, all I care about is you being there."

"You're not getting rid of me that easily, my darling," he growled playfully before he wrapped an arm around her waist and she settled back against him, her head resting on his shoulder.

The trip soon came to an end as the palace came into view via Clarisse's window and they reluctantly pulled apart to smooth their clothes down.

"That was fun- not only this, but the fortnight we had away, especially once things had improved between us... I've never been given the chance to let my hair down and have fun...I enjoyed myself."

"Good," he said simply,"tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You deserve to have some fun... you have had far too few opportunities to have fun in your life, but that's going to change from now on, I guarantee that."

"Good," she echoed with a slow smile, allowing him to kiss her again before the car came to a stop. "From what you've told me about your childhood, I'm very much looking forward to enjoyinglife and having fun..." she ran a hand down his cheek before straightening up and readjusting her blouse and trousers.

"But now... we have to go and find our granddaughter."

"Of course..." before the car door opened, light spilling into the cabin and someone's hand being held out for her to take, which she did, stepping back into reality.

0

There were only a few steps into the foyer, which was unusually silent) and hadn't thought about whether they would go to their suite or to Mia's, before they saw one of Mia's ladies maid hurrying down the stairs towards them.

"Welcome back Your Majesty, Joseph," she hurried curtsied to them. "Her Majesty requested that you go to her suite as soon as you arrived back."

"Thank you," Clarisse said graciously before they followed the girl upstairs and to Mia's suite doors, the guard at the door taking over to reveal... a bright 'welcome home' sign stretched across the doorway leading into her living room, several plates of nibblies on the table in front of the sofa and...

"Welcome home!" came from the corner and Joe and Clarisse turned to see Mia, Nicholas, Pierre, Charlotte and the Motezes beaming at them.

"I'm sorry, Grandma, I just couldn't resist!" Mia giggled, a little embarrassed as the couple stepped a little further into the room. "I didn't mean to embarrass you..."

"You didn't... thank you, we appreciate the gesture and it feels good to be welcomed back so enthusiastically," Clarisse said calmly, moving forward to embrace her granddaughter and then her son, smiling warmly at the others. "Thank you."

"You're the glue that holds this family together, so you deserve it," Mia shrugged modestly as the group moved towards the chairs/sofa, and she was ecstatic when, watching them, she discovered that while they weren't holding hands properly, her grandmother's fingers were lightly entrwined with Joe's AND his other hand was at the small of her back, guiding her towards the sofa...

The fortnight away had DEFINITELY done wonders for them, even though while there were few obvious, physical hints of their rekindled romance, it was easy to sense that they were much more comfortable with each other... and they, as far as Mia was concerned, were back to 'normal'.

"So, what have we missed here?" Clarisse asked briskly once they were all settled and Mia shrugged carelessly.

"Not that much really... although Uncle P and Charlotte have been on several dates!" an announcement that brought protests (Charlotte) and eye rolling (Pierre) from the couple in question.

"But the press have stopped sensationalizing what they supposedly 'discovered' and there haven't been enough public occasions where you would have been conspicuous in your absences... although that's going to change now it's February."

Joseph's heart sank at that- he had though that Clarisse would seriously step down from public appearances and the such, but now it seemed as though Clarisse was expected to continue the workload she had had before Christmas... he could only wait with bated breath to see what Clarisse would say...

"Actually, darling, that's something we," she glanced quickly at Joseph (who was now feeling better- she was going to say something) "... wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?"

"Well..." Clarisse looked back at Joseph again for moral support- she shouldn't be so nervous about this, it was their life. "We've decided that it's time I began easing back from public appearances... in fact, it's time for me to really step away from the serious responsibilities that we have both been preoccupied with... not that I... we... won't be available to help and support you," she added hastily.

"I see," Mia said mediatively, looking serious. "I see..." she repeated before a grin spread across her face. "That's more than fine, Grandma- as I told you before, you working yourself into the ground just to help me is not worth breaking you and Joe up."

"But... but..." Clarisse suddenly looked flustered.

"I know, I know, I'm still only really settling onto the throne and my new responsibilities, but I know that I am going to be fine- I have so many people supporting me," she waved around at the people present. "... and able to assist me- not that you can't and won't- that I know everything will be fine and I CAN run a country... after all, I did get taught everything I know from the best," she finished with a significant look at Clarisse. "But now it's time for you to enjoy a new chapter of your life... with Grandpal..." she added with a smile.

There was a long silence as Mia's words sank in before Clarisse tried to smile as she blinked back tears.

"Well, that certainly puts me in my place," she joked weakily as Joseph squeezed her hand.

"I didn't mean that..." Mia said hastily, alarmed at the thought of making her grandmother cry, but Clarisse gave her a much brighter smile in response.

"You didn't upset me at all... I have been concerned about how you would handle all of this- not to impugn your skills or confidence- but now that I can see that you can more than handle it all, I am more than DELIGHTED to hand over complete responsibility to you."

"Thank you... I do appreciate everythingyou have done for and with me but, as you've said, it's time for me to take over and you to start a new life... so, not wanting to sound to inquisitive, what are you and Joe... sorry, Grandpa's... plans now?"

"Oh, we have a few plans in mind," Joseph said vaguely. "But they're not quite formed yet... .but we'll let you know..."

0

After enjoying the mini welcome home party Mia had organized in their honour, it was just over an hour later when Joseph and Clarisse stepped into their own suite, a suite they hadn't occupied in six weeks and the suite where they had had yet another argument that had shaken them both and had finally woken Clarisse up to the fact that their relationship was crumbling, a moment she wasn't likely to forget in a hurry...

_0000000_

"_You ARE joking aren't you?" Joseph looked at his wife aghast, as she calmly continued packing for the annual Christmas trip to the Winter Palace- she had gotten used to doing her own packing and, in all honesty, she preferred it- before she looked up at her husband, unperturbed._

_She had just informed him that while it was officially their Christmas holiday and most of the time would be considered that, there would be occasions when the family would have to entertain guests- such as the Christmas Eve dinner and the New Year's Eve ball- but Clarisse had just announced that they would be having at least three dinners a week while at the Winter Palace for visitors who hadn't been able to visit beforehand._

"_Why would I joke about this? This has been part of my life- and yours, in a way- for many, many years and you didn't expect that to change overnight... besides," she gave him a concilitory smile. "At least you won't be working this time."_

_"I almost still will be," he muttered, beginning to turn away before her voice stopped him._

"_What?"_

_"Nothing."_

_"Tell me," she almost ordered and he turned back towards her almost defiantly- he hated when she spoke to him like this. "Joseph?"_

_"You say to look on the bright side, I won't be working over the holidays, but it seems that I will be anyway."_

_"What do you mean?" her tone turned sharper._

"_Well," he began, sensing that he was digging himself into a hole but not caring particularly. "I won't necessarily be working in the sense that I'm protecting you and your guests, but I will be working in terms of socialising and mingling with yours and Mia's guests... hardly my ideal for my Christmas holidays!"_

_"You knew you would be doing some of this when you married me," she said tightly and he rolled his eyes._

"_SOME times, Clarisse, not almost every week... and especially NOT during our FIRST Christmas as man and wife!"_

_"We will have time together," she began firmly before he spoke over the top of her. "If YOU have the time."_

_"What is THAT supposed to mean?" she sounded stung. "Are you saying I don't spend enough time with you? How childish... I could accuse you of the same thing!"_

_"Do NOT call me childish," he almost growled at her. "As for me not being available 24 hours a day, to fulfil your needs, waiting for even a scrap of attention, to be at your beck and call..."_

_"How dare you..."_

_"I can't do it anymore... I've been waiting for you for so long, and waiting for your full attention... but Scott needs me more at the moment, it seems, so I'll..."_

_"You'll what?" she challenged, yet her voice was full of fear, the realization she had been ignoring for weeks suddenly forcing itself to the forefront of her mind._

"_We'll discuss it after Christmas," he said calmly._

"_Why not now?"_

"_After Christmas," he said firmly, his expression cool and distant before he turned and walked out of the bedroom, then out of the suite, ignoring the sounds of shattered glass coming from the bedroom..._

_0000000_

"Hey! Hey, what's wrong?" Clarisse was suddenly brought back to the present by Joseph standing in front of her, a concerned expression on his face as he ran his hands up and down her arms. "You're trembling... and crying..."

"I was such a fool," she breathed huskily.

"What? Why?"

"I remembered the last time we were here, before we left for the Winter Palace, and that argument we had... I should have realized sooner what was happening between us... I should have listened to you... I should have..."

"No more should have, could have, would have," he said firmly, tilting her chin up so that she was looking into his eyes. "We could go crazy thinking about what could have been... but we're still here, hopefully stronger than ever and ready to start a new chapter in our lives..."

"Which we should have done six months ago," she murmured bitterly.

"But we will now... and while they say the first year of marriage is the hardest, we still have five months until we reach our first anniversary..."

"_First_ anniversary," she breathed, the words both astonishing and exciting her.

"Yes, our first... but I think that since we've had all our stumbling blocks in the first six months of our marriage, we should have an easier time for a while!"

"I hope so," she said with a wistful smile.

"I know so," he tapped the tip of her nose lightly before a sly grin spread across his face. "In fact," he added as he took both of her hands in his and began leading her towards the bedroom. "I have an idea that may help smooth the way..."

"Oh?"

"It's something fun... something involving you, me, your dressing room..." and she blushed at the memory- that had been a fun night- before she willingly, happily let him lead her towards that specific room... Mia was fine, the country was fine and now it was their time to enjoy themselves...


	23. I Do Part One

_A/N: I know I said one more chapter to go, but I had to split this chapter up because it's so big (and it's got only good news in it!) Almost there though!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!_

_The Princess Diaries don't belong to me!_

It was another typical beautiful warm August morning in Genovia, almost identical (if not warmer) to the morning when Mia had returned to Genovia 14 months earlier, and the scene awaiting Genovia 1 as it landed smoothly on the tarmac was just as similar except for two major differences- there were two, rather than one royal limousine waiting on the tarmac for the arrivals; and that one of the occupants on the plane was NOT the nervous young Princess of the previous year.

"Welcome home," Joseph turned in his seat to address his wife and Clarisse beamed as she turned away from the window where she had been watching their homeland come back into view, sliightly confused as to why they were here again so soon. They had only been gone two weeks this time, but Mia had been surprisingly insistent that they return and they had acquiesced.

"And welcome home to you too."

"Thank you, but my home is wherever you are," he said simply as he stood up and stretched- the trip had only been two and a half hours but he was stiff anyway, one of the downsides of getting older, he grumbled to himself- before turning to help Clarisse, discovering, as he did so, that she was smiling tenderly at him."What?"

"I was just thinking the same thing... I will always love Genovia and Mia and Pierre are my life as well, but home is also where you are," she gave him a shy smile. "I've never had this feeling before, the feeling of comfort, confidence and well being (well, not quite as definite before_ and, at my age, it must sound strange..."

"It doesn't sound strange," he said simply, tucking a loose strand of her hair back behind her ear. "It's nice to know that you feel that way about me- I'm truly honoured and proud."

"I've almost always felt like that about you," she said simply as she reached down for her handbag. "I guess the feeling began when you were my bodyguard and it grew as my feeling for you personally deepened and now... I can't imagine you not being in my life."

Before Joseph could respond, however, they had stepped into the sunlight and onto the top step of the stairs leading down to the tarmac, and Clarisse was surprised and delighted to see Mia and Sebastian waiting beside the cars.

"What are they doing here?" Clarisse murmured and he shrugged nonchalantly.

"I don't know, but I'm sure we're going to find out soon enough," before he followed her down the steps, her hand, as always, resting on the small of her back.

As soon as they stepped onto the tarmac, both Sebastian and Mia walked towards them, Mia beaming like the cat who had gotten the cream.

"Hi Grandma, Grandpa!"

"Hello... not that it isn't a pleasure to see you here... but is there something wrong?" Clarisse was flustered and wary at the small greeting party- she had assumed that their arrival would create as little fanfare as possible, but Mia only giggled- despite being Queen for over a year and having matured considerably in that time, she was still a girl in some ways, but it only made her more endearing to her family and the people.

"There's nothing wrong, Grandma, we just wanted to come and greet you at the airport."

"You only saw us two weeks ago!" but Clarisse wasn't displeased to see her.

"Well..." Mia glanced at Sebastian. "Sebastian wants to see Joe for a few minutes, and I figured that you would want to go straight back to the palace."

"That's very thoughtful, dear, but I'm happy to wait for Joseph."

"Actually, Your Majesty... Clarisse," Sebastian stepped in. "It may take a little longer than a few minutes for me to talk to Joe... the issue I need his opinion is more complicated than first thought, and there are some papers I want him to peruse, from a security point of view."

"Oh," Clarisse visibly drooped at that before she stood up straight again- she was being selfish, she told herself sternly- she and Joseph were practically inseperably these days, the time away from Genovia doing wonders for their relationship, and if Sebastian needed his assistance for an hour or so, she wouldn't stand in his way... she was definitely intending on being a supportive wife.

"That's fine," she recovered quickly. "Actually, returning to the palace sounds good... I'll see you later," she turned to Joseph with an expectant expression and he nodded, a little distracted, as he leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"Of course."

Clarisse obediently climbed into the second limo behind Mia, slightly bewildered at the turn of events, becoming even more so when she discovered Lily, Charlotte and Sheila Motez in the limo.

"What...what's going on?"

"You're going to have to wait and see,"Mia said with a giggle before sobering up at Clarisse's worried expression. "Don't worry, Grandma, it's something good and you will find out more as soon as we get to the palace, so why don't you just sit back and relax..." and Clarisse did just that, allowing her thoughts to drift back to what had been happening lately- it certainly had been an eventful few months...

_0000000_

The rumour mill within the palace walls died down almost as soon as Joseph and Clarisse returned to the palace, and it was obvious (albiet through discreet hints) that their marriage was back on track and that a new ear in the palace was beginning.

This was made particularly clear only a day after their return when Clarisse's official schedule, which had been set before Christmas, was significantly cleared, leaving only a few minor meetings and public appearances (her own personal charity work not included) over the ensuring weeks; and it was also obvious when Joseph's visits to the security room dropped right back.

Despite their best efforts of maintaing the facade of a happy marriage, most of the palace had known of the rocky relationship and the growing distance between the former queen and her former Head of Security and had been worried that the two of them could break up ("not after they had be waiting for this for so long" someone had said) but thankfully the last fortnight had done wonders for them and now Her Majesty (she would always be known as that even though she wasn't the reigning Queen) and Joseph were happier than ever.

Meanwhile, the couple in question were truly happy together again- they were realistic enough to know that they would often fight, disagree with each other and maybe even not speak to each other for a time, but they also knew that they would be considerably unhappier if they weren't together- and, despite in the palace with their family, they were both looking forward to doing some travelling.

"The only problem is... how am I going to tell Mia we're leaving again?"

"Only for a couple of weeks at a time, with breaks back here between trips... besides, I think Mia won't be as surprised as you imagine," he said mildly- and he was right.

"Oh Grandma, that sounds like so much fun!" Mia was unequivocally enthusiastic and supportive when, days later, Clarisse approached her with the announcement that she and Joseph's plans were finalized- and their plans consistered of some travelling.

"Where were you planning on visiting?" Mia continued interestedly as Clarisse tried to gather her thoughts- she didn't want the responsibilities associated with Queen anymore but, and not to impugn the younger woman's skills and abilities, she was still worried about Mia here, alone...

"We haven't plotted a precise intinerary, but we both want to see Europe, particularly the south of France, Spain and Italy- and I know I want to introduce Joseph as my husband to some of my friends and Heads of State... but we will be back," she added hastily.

"I know you will, Grandma, and I do appreciate your concern for me, but you also need to consider yourself and Joseph... sorry, Grandpa... and I don't want you almost breaking up again over me," she stated firmly and simply. "Only... I have one condition."

"Which is?"

"That you and Grandpa will be available to attend the wedding."

"What wedding?" Clarisse was momentarily blank.

"MY wedding- to Nicholas!" Mia almost squealed excitedly and Clarisse immediately caught on.

"So you've set a date?"

"Yes... and I know I should have consluted you on this, but..."

"When is it?" Clarisse was eager for details.

"Second weekend in June... will you be able to make it?"

"Of course!" it was Clarisse's turn to almost squeal with delight as she pulled the younger woman into her arms. "I can stay and help with the plans."

"No!" Mia looked determined. "I know what you did before and I will always be grateful... but again- you and Joe... I'll have Lily and Charlotte to help me... and I may ask for an opinion when you 'drop by'" she hinted with a broad grin and Clarisse laughed.

"I will be more than happy to help when I can- which will be more often than you expect!"

0

Satisfied with Mia's reaction and support, Joseph and Clarisse took off on their first trip a few days afterwards, heading directly to London where, aside from two official public appearances to satiate the press and represent Genovia, Clarisse introduced him to her select group of English friends, including people from the upper echelons of society, all of whom were genuinely delightly to meet Clarisse's husband, and many of whom suspected their relationship was far more deeper and longer lasting than they were telling or admitting, something Joseph commented on during their flight to Italy.

"They never said anything..."

"They were far too pleased to meet you!" Clarisse gloated exhultantly. "They all like you and that's what matters to me."

"What if they didn't?" it was a fear he had never uttered to her beforehand.

"Then they really wouldn't have been very good friends..."

"Okay... anyway, I think that some of them suspected we were... emotionally involved... a long time before we actually admitted it."

"Which, in most ways, we were- but they won't gossip about us, I promise... I'm more worried about some of my distant acquaintances making a move on you."

"On me, my darling?" he laughed as he rested a hand on her knee. "I don't think so!"

As it turned out, Clarisse's intuition proved correctt, only it was in Italy where almost all the women they met surrounded Joseph, flirting with him both openly and discreetly within Clarisse's presence and Clarisse became incredibly jealous and surprisingly possessive, although she managed to keep it well hidden underneath a smile that became progressively tighter and more fixed as each day went on, but she never complained.

However, on the final evening of their Italian sojourn, Joseph insisting they return to Genovia to assist Mia with wedding details, that Joseph took her out for a romantic dinner for two, starting with a long, passionate kiss before he helped her to her seat.

"What was that for?"

"I want you to know that I would never be unfaithful to you, and none of these women mean anything to me."  
"I know," she said in a strong voice. "I've never doubted your fidelity to me."

"But you WERE jealous of those women?" he pressed and there was a long silence as she absentmindedly ran a finger around the rim of her wine glass before she nodded imperceptibly.

"Yes, I was incredibly jealous," she admitted in a whisper. "I was also feeling very, very possessive...you are MY man," she said fiercely as she looked up, a determined gleam in her eye. "MY husband and no one else has the right to try and get their hands on you."

"My wife, the crazy jealous woman," he teased before he reached over and squeezed her hand. "I know that and I like this side of you- it shows passion... which I know you have always had," he added.

"I just hadn't had the right person to help me reveal that," she responded demurely, lowering her eyes modestly, yet with a gleam in them. "But now I have," she looked back up and the look in her eyes contributed to him hastily calling for the check and then hustling her back to the suite where he proceeded to show her EXACTLY how much passion he had for her.

"I only have eyes for you," he murmured long after they had made love, as she lay snuggled in his arms. "Other women may find me attractive, but they mean nothing to me."

"You do enjoy the flirting, though, don't you?"

"Yes, I'll admit it's flattering but again, I still want only you... you outshine them all... even the young women," he added, sensing that she was about to ask that question. "I've waited so long for you that compared to loving you and you loving me, flirting in all other instances, with anyone else besides you, is flattering but meaningless..."

_0000000_

"Grandma? Grandma?" Mia's voice sounded as though it was coming from a great distance and Clarisse managed to turn away from the window and bring herself back to the present- judging from the scenery they were passing, they were almost back within the vicinity of the palace.

"I'm sorry dear, I was just enjoying the scenery... so, are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"I wish I could, Grandma, but it will be easier to explain when we're back at the palace... all I can say is, it's going to be good!


	24. I Do Part Two

_A/N: Sorry for the delay, but work and assignments have gotten in my way, so I've had to write this in the time I've had... I KNOW I said that there was only one chapter left, but because of my crazy life at the moment, there may have to be another chapter... and the last chapter will be the most romantic!_

_Thanks to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock!  
The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

"Does she have any idea?"

"No, although it hasn't been easy to organize, considering we've been virtually joined at the hip while we've been in Europe."

"So all is well between you two?" Only a few people could ask Joseph that question, and Sebastian was among them.

"As you would know, no relationship is easy and ever will be, but things have definitely improved, although I had no idea our marital problems were so obvious to everyone... except I did kind of let the cat out of the bag at that dinner!"

"Not everyone knew," Sebastian corrected. "It was only those who knew you that noticed... we didn't want to interfere but we were all concerned."

"We both appreciate your concerns," Joseph replied sincerely.

"However, I think tonight is going to definitely be a night to remember, and one particular lady is definitely going to be surprised!"

0

The palace was a hive of activity when Clarisse stepped into the foyer behind Mia (although all the staff pasued to welcome their past and present monarchs) and the activity instantly triggered something off in Clarisse's mind... there was something very familiar about all of this activity- it wasn't a ball or formal function, although the number of staff hurrying in and out of the ballroom (the doors closing behind them) indicated something big was going on or going to happen...

"Mia..." she began warily as she and the other two followed her up the stairs. "Is something going on?"

"Almost there, Grandmother dearest," Mia said before leading the way down the corridor to her suite. "Come on in," she invited as she danced through the open doors and Clarisse cautiously followed her in- she didn't know what was going on (a fact that was making her feel a little uncomfortable) but she had to wonder as questions began to fill her head.

It was only once they were inside, the women settled in the living room and tea having been served, when Mia turned to Clarisse with a broad smile.

"Are you finally going to tell me what's going on?"

"Yes!" Mia ignored the wary tone in Clarisse's voice. "I wanted to say something before, but I promised I wouldn't and would wait until we got back here."

"Promised whom?"

"I promised Joe... Grandpa."

"You promised him what?" Clarisse was turning impatient.

"That I wouldn't say anything until now... well, Joe had been thinking that since you barely had a chance to celebrate your first wedding anniversary... what with the wedding and you acting as regent while we were away..."

"I didn't mind doing that and neither did Joseph," Clarisse inserted mildly. "Yes, we did have a quiet anniversary but it was just what we wanted," she said firmly, blushing slightly- their anniversary HAD been quiet, and while she had several meetings to attend, they had barely left their suite otherwise all day.

"Nevertheless, it wasn't the ideal celebratory first anniversary you should have had and Grandpa wanted to make it meaningful so tonight... in light of what has been happening, you're going to renew your wedding vows!" Mia finished triumphantly.

There was a long silence after the announcement as Clarisse struggled to absorb Mia's words, questions still filling her head- had Joseph really planned this? HOW had he planned it? Had he, Mia and Sebastian planned this together? If he had NOT planned it, where was Joseph? Had he really been serious about this? Whoever's idea it was, it was a lovely, romantic gesture...

"Grandma?" Mia's almost timid voice broke into her reverie. "Is something wrong? Should I have said something sooner?"

"Oh no darling," Clarisse swallowed hard, blinking rapidly to prevent the tears that were threatening to spill over. "If Joseph wanted you tell me now, then that's fine... I just can't believe it."

"It's such a romantic idea," Mia sighed dreamily as Charlotte and Sheila nodded in agreement. "I always suspected he was a romantic."

"You did?" Clarisse looked surprised and Mia nodded.

"He always has been," Charlotte affirmed, Clarisse shooting another surprised look in her direction. "Nothing was ever really obvious- Joe was always very discreet when it came to Clarisse," Charlotte gave Clarisse a tentative smile. "But one could always sense the bond between our Head of Security and our Queen... and the dancing and the looks... but none of us said anything, not that we ever woud have."

"I know that," Clarisse replied a little vaguely as she was still thinking about Joseph's surprise. "So... what happens now?"

"Well, you're going to be staying here until last this afternoon, the three of us keeping you company- as you can see, the palace is really busy preparing for this."

"Can I..."

"No, you can't see Grandpa before hand- remember, it's bad luck to see the groom before the wedding- or even speak to him... you need to decide who will be your maid of honour and the other two will be bridesmaids... your dress is already hanging up in my closet... again, no you can't see it and don't ask how it was made up, Joseph has all the details..."

"I should have known."

"Your hairdresser (not Paolo) will be here at 4:30 to do your hair and makeup." Mia was getting more and more excited as she ran through the details that she had obviously known for weeks and Clarisse felt a little dizzy.  
"So what will I be doing until then?"

"Why don't you just relax? Everything is all organized and all YOU need to do is get dressed and be at the doors of the ballroom at six o'clock.. We'll be here with you, you won't be alone... although I do need to speak to Charlotte and Sheila for a moment..."

"Go ahead," Clarisse said calmly, feeling both nervious and excited as a strong surge of love for Joseph coursed through her- she had always known he was a romantic with a big heart- the way he had romanced her had been slow, discreet but yet dizzyingly intense and she knew she wouldn't have settled for anyone else- she was his, just as he was hers...

"Just think," Mia commented over her shoulder. "The palace hasn't seen this much excitement in years- two wedding within a month of each other!"

"Except one will be much smaller than the other, and the presss won't be covering it!"

"Absolutely not! This wedding is special!"

"So was yours," Clarisse retorted, her mind drifting back to the previous month's wedding between Queen Amelia and Lord Nicholas Devereaux...

0000000

Once Clarisse and Joseph had returned to Genovia in April, Clarisse immediately got swept up in wedding plans, much to Joseph's amusement and satisfaction.

"Just as long as you don't try to sneak back into your former study to try and do some work!" he joked warningly but she had only laughed as she stepped into her shoes on their first day back- she was due in Mia's suite to begin immersing herself in plans- Mia had done some work but Clarisse's return had been timely as she was getting too busy with official duties.

"That's something I won't be doing," she said ruefully. "I think I'm going to be too busy to even think about anything except the wedding!"

"As long as you remember me from time to time," he reminded her and Clarisse only smiled as she leaned over the seat he was sitting in, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and dropped a kiss onto his neck.

"I'll try..." she teased before stepping away smartly as Joseph reached around for her.

As it turned out, their return had been necessary as Mia was incredibly busy with parliament, paperwork and official engagements (and enjoying every minute), and so Clarisse completely took over the wedding arrangements and, she had to admit, she preferred planning the wedding to running a country, as she admitted to Mia as she was having a fitting for her wedding dress.

"I don't know how you managed to do both last year!" Mia said admiringly, not adding (but both of them knowing) that there had been an additional pressure on her shoulders- her relationship with Joseph.

"Years of training!" Clarisse joked. "You'll get used to it... is Lily planning another bachelorette for you?"

"No, not this time- I'm just having something simple in my suite and you're more than welcome to come."

"I will... what about Nicholas?" Mia shrugged.

"No idea... Grandma," she said after a moment, looking unusually serious. "I'm a little worried..."

"About what?" Clarisse was immediately on the alert- if Mia was nervous, worried or scared, she was going to listen.

"I'm just worried... what if we end up like you and Rupert?" she asked in a small voice and Clarisse didn't hesitate to move across the room and take Mia's hands in hers, gripping tightly- she had wanted to hug her but with the fitting, it wasn't the right time.

"You and Nicholas will NEVER be like Rupert and I, do you understand me? Yes, you will inevitably disagree at times and you won't be like other couples with you running a country, but you and Nicholas are marrying for love, not as an arrangement and that makes all the difference... besides we both know you and Nicholas are different to us and neither of you will let your marriage founder."

"I'm sorry yours did Grandma," but Clarisse only shrugged it off with a slight smile.

"We were, in a lot of ways, best friends, but an arranged marriage is hardly an invitation to love."

"But you're happy now?" Mia seemed anxious at this question.

"IAM," Clarisse empathized the words strongly. "Very, very much so and while we definitely had a rough start, I think things are definitely much better between us."

The improved relationship was on display to the rest of the country on the wedding day itself, although Mia and Nicholas definitely stole the show and were radiantly happy from the moment they set eyes on each other at opposite ends of the church upon Mia's arrival.

Clarisse's planning and efforts were also on display and while everyone made the point of praising the former Queen, she was far happier remaining out of the spotlight (although she had to greet guests) and sitting demurely next to her husband after he escorted her up the aisle just before Mia.

"Does this bring back memories?" he teased as the sat down next to Patrick and Helen and his wife of nearly a year blushed slightly as the hands that were hidden from pulic view met and entwined at their sides.

"Some... but thankfully we've been legally married for nearly a year, so we don't need to relive them, particularly in front of the rest of the world."

Joseph himself was feeling conspicuous as he sat beside Clarisse, waiting for the bride to arrive- almost this time last year, he had been broken hearted over Clarisse's rejection and in charge of supervising at least thirty men and ensuring that nearly two hundred guests were 'safe' and now he was a guest ("an honoured guest," Clarisse said earlier as she straightened his tie, something she thoroughly enjoyed doing, admitting that it made her feel "like a real wife"), Clarisse's husband, at the wedding.

He could feel the eyes burning into him but he ignored it, especially once Mia arrived and the ceremony commenced, and after they were pronounced husband and wife, he couldn't believe that the shy, awkward 15 year old he had met nearly seven years ago was now Queen and a wife- he had always believed in her and this wedding, along with the coronation, was vindication for his faith in her.

He was so absorbed in his thoughts of Mia that he barely noticed everyone watching them as they followed Mia and Nicholas and their bridal party out of the church, and Clarisse noticed his mood but couldn't ask until they were on their way back to the palace.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine... I just can't believe how grown up Mia is now- Queen and wife!"

"I had the same titles at her age."

"But you were ever so much more mature than Mia, much as I love her, and I could always see you in those roles, as well as mother... I can't imagine Mia as a mother!"

"But she will be... and you will be a great-grandfather!"

"Great grandfather!" he almost sputtered- the title sounded so unfamiliar, he was barely used to the title grandfather, but it would happen eventually."That means you will be a great grandmother!" and he burst out laughing at her expression. "Now how does it feel!"

"True... it sounds strange..." she laughed ruefully...

0000000

"Grandma? Grandma?" came from a great distance and, for the second time since she had arrived back in Genovia, Clarisse found herself being brought out of her reverie but her granddaughter, and she suddenly realized that Charlotte, Sheila and Mia were surrounding her- and that lunch was waiting for them at a nearby table.

"I'm sorry, dear... must be a touch of jet lag," Clarisse said apologetically as she stood up and followed the other women to the table.

"Well maybe you'll have to have a nap because you cannot be tired tonight!" Mia jokingly chided and Clarisse again felt a ripple of excitement and nervousness rush through her- if she was right about tonight, it certainly was going to be a night to remember!


	25. I Do Part Three

_A/N: FINALLY, FINALLY finished! I'm sorry I've been lax in updating but life, work and illness got in the way but I did want to finish this!_

_Thank you to all my readers and reviewers- you all rock! Hopefully you will be around when I write my next story! _

_The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!_

Meanwhile downstairs, Joseph, Sebastian and Shades were surveying the ballroom with satisfaction, as it had, according to Joseph's instructions (with a few added embellishments from Mia, he surmised) been set up as a flower decked mini chapel, with several rows of seats set up on either side of the white carpeted 'aisle', as well as several long white tableclothed tables waiting on the opposite end of the room for the reception.

Joseph had figured that since they had had the big white wedding (although it had originally been Mia's white wedding and Clarisse hadn't worn white), their second ceremony would much simpler, smaller and far more intimate... and it would also be a chance for their nearest and dearest to see that they were still together and their relationship was better than ever.

"So what do you think, Boss?" Shades (Scott) asked, slightly nervous despite the fact that Joseph hadn't been his boss for over a year and they were great friends, but his former boss grinned at him, not at all bothered at their previous relationship. "It's not too much?"

"It's perfect for tonight- you've all done a great job and I appreciate that you did all the groundwork while I was in Europe."

"Thanks a lot for that," Shades muttered mock disgustedly. "If I'd known wedding planning was part of your job description, I would have second thoughts about taking your job!" but the three of them laughted, knowing he was joking. "At least it will be quieter than Queen Mia's," he added and Joseph nodded.

"Yes, that's the most important consideration, although Mia's was appropriate for her position."

"And you enjoyed it because you WEREN'T the centre of attention?" Shades teased, knowing he could get away with it.

"Yes, although there are times now..."

"That's what you get for marrying royalty," Shades said smartly. "Besides... I never thought you were a shy man."

"Only on certain occasions."

"Social occasions?" Sebastian inserted with an impish smile.

"What is this, pick on Joe day?"

"Maybe it's a little payback for leaving us to do all this wedding preparation," Shades said slyly and Joe only rolled his eyes. "Anyway, tonight you are definitely the centre of attention so you can't complain, particularly as this was all your idea!" he chided and Joseph laughed.

"Alright, alright, I won't complain... but tonight is definitely going to be different and much, much quieter than last month!"

_0000000_

The reception back at the palace again continued to display Clarisse's class and good taste, and while it wasn't quite as extravagant as the previous year's reception, it was still just as beautiful.

Joe longed to shrink back into the shadows as they mingled with guests prior to sitting down to dinner, as he had when he was Clarisse's HOS, pretending that he was invisible to everyone except his charge, but Clarisse's arm through his prevented him from going anywhere, not that he really wanted to.

Most of of the guests were gracious and pleasant- as they had been the previous year- but there were still some who leered at Clarisse and ignored him but Joseph didn't care- he was finally secure in the knowledge that Clarisse loved him and had married him, and he felt comfortable enough to exude that confidence...especially with an occasional loving squeeze from Clarisse.

They were seated at the same table, although on opposite sides of the circular table (not that it stopped them from exchanging looks across the table) but the were seated with those they were close to ("I made sure of THAT when I arranged the seating," Clarisse had said with a smile), including Pierre, Charlotte and the Motezes- and Joseph relaxed enough to contribute confidently to the table conversation.

After dinner, there were the typical toasts- Nicholas, his best man, Sebastian and Helen- before Nicholas led his bride out onto the dancefloor for their first dance, followed by Sebastian and Clarisse. Joe was enjoying seeing the two couples dance (and subsequently swap) but before he had the chance to ask Sheila, he felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned to see Mia grinning at him.

"Come on Gramps, time for you to fill your dance card... starting with me!"

Thankfully, Helen and Patrick, Pierre and Charlotte and Sheila (who was now dancing with Nicholas) were all dancing, as well as Clarisse and Sebastian and several other couples, so Joseph didn't feel quite as self conscious as the rest of the ballroom watched them, but he still felt a little obvious and Mia could sense it as the dance progressed.

"Don't worry, Grandpa," she said suddenly and seriously, startling him.

"I'm not worried," he responded immediately, but then felt compelled to add more as she gave him a skeptical look. "I just feel...a little obvious."

"I know this has been difficult for you," Mia looked sympathetic. "You were never really groomed to be the husband of a member of the royal family- and a Queen, no less..."

"I did have some idea of what being married to your grandmother would entail."

"Still, it would have been difficult."

"Yes, in some ways, but I haven't regretted a thing and I never will... I've always wanted to be married to Clarisse," he said honestly, slightly abashed but knowing that Mia deserved to know. "I won't let you or Clarisse down."

"You don't have to worry about ever letting us down," Mia looked sober before her expression lightened. "But I'm so glad you're part of my family now, officially."

"As am I," came a voice from behind them and they both turned to see Clarisse, resplendent in an icy blue and white suite, standing there with a radiant smile on her face. "I'm very glad abut that... I know it's your day, darling, so you should get what you want... but... to use some slang... may I cut it?"

"Of course," Mia backed away immediately with a smile. "I'm sure there are plenty of available dance partners for me."

"Like me," Nicholas suddenly appeared at her side and they exchanged a grin before he whirled her away, leaving Clarisse and Joseph standing in the middle of the room, remedied immediately but Joseph stepping forward with a cavalier bow.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Seeing as I just cut in on you and Mia, yes... I would like to dance," she said with a sly smile and there was a brief pause before he smoothly swept her into his arms and they melted into the crowd.

"This has been a beautiful day, you did a wonderful job with all the planning and preparations," he said admiringly after a moment and she blushed as she rested her cheek against his shoulder. "You shouldn't be embarrassed- you have done a great job!"

"I would do anything for my granddaughter, especialy since her father is...no longer with us and I spent the first 16 years of her life ignroing her..." her lips trembled a little- both thoughts were still very painful for her to think about- before Joseph rested his finger against her lips.

"Don't, sweetheart, it's all in the past... and while you will never forget Phillipe, we both know that you stayed away from Mia to PROTECT her... again, something a good grandmother would do and you are definitely a good grandmother," he said firmly and her eyes were shining suspiciously as she smiled back at him.

"Thank you... you always know what to say."

"That's because I know you very, very well," he playfully tapped her nose. "Now, why don't you and I enjoy the rest of this dance and the next, and the next..."

"Aren't you going to let anyone else dance with me?" she looked innocently at him and he growled as he pulled her closer to him.

"They've had plenty of opportunities to dance with you over the years... now you're mine!" he breathed into her ear.

"Good," she responded pertly. "Good... that's all I want now."

_0000000_

The afternoon flew by, the palace still a hive of activity as the staff ensured that the last minute preparations for the ceremony that evening were completed (they didn't want to let Joe or Clarisse down) while the bride and groom were, respectively, resting in Mia's suite and playing cards with Shades and his former colleagues; and while Joseph was severely tempted to call her via Mia's mobile, he fought the urge- it would only make tonight even more special, although not talking to Clarisse was difficult...

Everything was organized but he still ran through the list in his head, just in case- James the Archbishop (an old friend of both of them, although more so Clarisse's) was presiding over the ceremony, their guest list consisted of their nearest and dearest (and definitely very few parliamentarians) and the other details- food, flowers and music were also all sorted and now all he had to do was wait until tonight...

Clarisse meanwhile spent some of the afternoon resting on Mia's bed (she wasn't even allowed to return to her suite), surprised that jet lag had finally hit her (she had never suffered it before on the many trips she had taken) but also enjoying a relaxing afternoon of not worrying about anything... She been "officially" retired for 13 months (although she had seriously accepted it in the last six months) and she was finally beginning to enjoy it.

When she emerged from the bedroom late in the afternoon, Mia, Charlotte and Sheila, along with two sets of ladies maids, were flitting around, in and out of the suite, all of them clearly relieved when Clarisse emerged.

"I thought the bride was the only one who was supposed to be nervous," she teased as she perched on the edge of a chair, feeling surprisingly calm- this second wedding may have been a surprise, but after the year they had had, they did deserve to celebrate... and she wasn't nervous because it was Joseph's idea and hopefully there would be as few guests possible.

"We're not nervous, Grandma, but everything has to go smoothly, otherwise Grandpa will... well, he won't kill us but he'll be disappointed."

"He won't be," Clarisse said firmly. "I barely know what's going on but I'm certain that everything will run smoothly and Joseph won't say anything... if he does..."

"No, you don't say a thing!" Mia looked slightly alarmed. "We don't want you to split up on the evening of your second wedding!"

"Mia, I'm only joking," Clarisse soothed with a smile. "I'm sure Joseph will feel the same way... all that matters is that you are all here celebrating with us."

She paused for a moment- she could sense that Mia wanted this to work for their sake- before she continued.

"We do appreciate all of this, thank you."

"You two are so worth it," Clarisse and Mia said in unision and Clarisse couldn't help but blush modestly.

"Thank you... so what do I have to do now?"

"Shower," Mia immediately pulled her up. "All your necessary tolietries are in the batrhoom and when you come out, the hairdresser will be here... and oh, you don't want to get THEM wet," and, to Clarisse's surprise, she slid off the wedding and engagement rings.

"Mia..."

"Go," Sheila pushed her gently towards the batrhoom and Clarisse willingly almost floated towards it, feeling surprisingly bare without the rings on her hands but still... her stomach began to fill with butterflies and she suddenly realised she WAS nervous.

0

An hour later, Clarisse found herself standing in front of Mia's full length mirror, gazing at herself in the mirror- the hairdresser had been and gone, having done her makeup and hair, as well as attaching a small fascinator in her hair, with a small veil which, when pulled down, would cover her face discreetly- and she was now dressed in the dress Joseph had chosen.

It was just the same as the dress from last year, except with it was shorter, cream coloured and there were jewels scattered across the bodice of the dress.

"Joseph certainly knows what he's doing," she heard from behind her and she turned to see the three women standing in the doorway, all dressed in their best (although Mia's dress, in Clarisse's opinion, was far too short and tight)- and beaming at her.

"You look beautiful, Grandma!" Mia said enthusiastically as the other two chimed in their agreement.

"Stunning..."

"You've always been beautiful," came another voice and Pierre stepped into the room behind Charlotte and walked towards his mother. "I'm glad you're remarrying someone who appreciates you for who you really are."

"Thank you, dear," Clarisse blinked furiously- it wouldn't do to cry before the ceremony- before she glanced at the three women and realized that she would have to choose a maid of hnour. But before she could say anything, Charlotte quickly stepped in.

"We've already decided about your maid of honour, Your... Clarisse... Mia should be it, as Sebastian is Joseph's best man, as before."

"We have already agreed on this, and we don't mind being guests," Sheila added as Clarisse arched an eyebrow.

"I really don't have a say in this, do I?" but her words were softened by the smile on her lips.

"But who is going to escort me up the aisle?" she suddenly felt panicked- the year before, she and Joseph had walked down together, but this year...

"I am," Pierre said proudly as he crooked his arm out to her and she slid her arm through. "I didn't do it the first time, but I'm not going to miss this time!"

"Speaking of, it's time to go downstairs," Charlotte said after glancing at her watch.

"Only a few more minutes of freedom, Grandma," Mia said with a sly smile. "How do you feel?"

"Perfectly fine," Clarisse said calmly, although she was secrely relieved that Pierre was escorting her as she felt that she wouldn't be able to walk very far without her knees buckling with nerves. "Alright..." she let out the deep breath she had been holding in. "Let's do this!"

0

The trip down the stairs to the ballroom seemed so long yet she couldn't help but feel that the trip hadn't happened at all as Clarisse found herself standing in front of the closed ballroom doors, Pierre at her side, Mia in front of her (Sheila and Charlotte had snuck in without giving anything away to Clarisse.

"Are you alright?" Pierre asked solicitiously and Clarisse smiled.

"Just a little nervous...it's crazy, seeing as though we've been married for a year, but..."

"That's as it should be... you and Joseph are wonderful together and it's a beautiful thing, seeing the love you two have for each other...I'm glad you're happy, Mama."

"I'll be even more happy when you''re happy," she said pointedly and he only laughed.

"You're just going to have to be patient..." before the doors in front of them opened, and while Mia blocked some of the view, Clarisse gasped softly as she saw the ballroom- it was wonderful!

"Ready?"

"Ready," she affirmed, squeezing his hand as Mia stepped forward to the music- of course, it was 'Here comes the Bride'- and they slowly followed her through the doorway.

From then on, everything became a blur for Clarisse, although she did note the small group of guests (and the flowers) but as soon as she set eyes on Joseph, waiting with Sebastian and James at the end of the room, near the small stage, her eyes remained on him for the rest of the journey and, when she reached where he was waiting, there was a momentary pause as she tried to steady her nerves before smiling at him and taking his arm.

"You look beautiful," he whispered in her ear. "Am I in trouble?"

"About what?"

"About all of this?"

"Why would you be?" she smiled radiantly at him before they both realized that everyone was waiting on them, and they almost reluctantly turned to James.

"We have come together to celebrate a union that began not last year but many, many years before..." began the Archbishop...

The rest of the ceremony was almost a complete blur to both of them- although they both repeated their vows loudly and solemnly, but the biggest surprise came when Joseph turned to her with a gold ring and, glancing inside, she realized that it wasn't the ring she had been wearing for the past year... this one had an inscription...simply _"Darling"_ and it took all her energy not to burst into tears as he slipped that ring, as well as her engagement ring, back on her finger.

Everything suddenly became clear again when James pronounced them "Husband and wife" and encouraged Joseph to kiss his bride... and this time, it wasn't Clarisse to had to lean in for the kiss, Joseph had no compunction in wrapping her tightly in his arms, whispering "I love you" into her ear, before giving her a long, sweet kiss, the clapping and whoops of joy around them a dim memory.

It was a long time before they managed to sneak into a corner for a moment, after greeting and talking to their guests, but they finally did it and Joseph turned to her with a warm smile.

"You look beautiful."

"You've said that."

"I'll say it again... did you mind all of this?"

"No, I loved it," she touched his cheek with her hand. "I knew you were a romantic but this... this definitely takes you to a whole new level!"

"I just figured..."

"I know, and you don't need to explain... although I would be interested to know how you managed to contact Mia and Sebastian while we were in Europe."

"There are some things you don't need to know," he pretended to look haughty for a moment before beaming at her again. "But I just wanted this to be a new beginning for us, as well as a celebration- it has been quite a year!"

"Hopefully we don't have to do this again on our second anniversary?" she joked and he laughed.

"Only if things get really rocky again between us!"

"Which they won't," she looked at him with suddenly inflamed, passionate eyes and he knew that she was being honest. "I realized this afternoon that I'm finally enjoying retirement... I wish I had thought of it earlier!"

Joseph was about to respond to that when Mia suddenly spied them and called out:

"Newlyweds! Isn't it time for your first dance?"

"That girl, she is never going to grow up!" Clarisse murmured under her breath but Joseph only chuckled as he led her out into the middle of the ballroom and held her close as the music started playing.

"You love her just the way she is, and we both know that," he said after a moment and Clarisse nodded.

"True... and tonight... I'm just so happy tonight that I don't care about anything!"

"That's the spirit... although you hopefully care about me and where we're going for our honeymoon?"

"Of course, darling... where are we going?"

"How does the beach house sound to you?"

"That sounds perfect... and maybe after a week there, we could drop in at the cabin?"

"Maybe... although I thought we could use that as our winter retreat."

"Then that's what we'll use it for..." she said contentedly, gazing at him lovingly for a moment- she loved this man so much, and they had been almost to hell and back in the past year, but they were still here, they were still together, they had worked out their problems together, and that was all that mattered... before she suddenly, impulsively leaned forward and kissed him in front of their guests, ignoring the wolf whistle that inevitably erupted from either Shades or Mia.

Joseph was grinning when they finally broke apart.

"What was that for?"

"Just because you're you and I love you."

"I love you too... but I thought Queens weren't supposed to show emotions in public?"

"Queens aren't supposed to... but there's nothing about FORMER Queens not being able to show emotions in public?" she teased him with a sly smile before leaning forward and kissing him again.

"Wow...you certainly have changed..." but the grin told her he loved the change.

"Sweetheart" she gave him a broad, happy, radiant grin. "... you haven't seen anything yet!"

"Well, I'm certainly looking forward to seeing more of this side of you!"

"We've got all the time in the world, and I like that thought," she said as she leaned into him and he smiled.

"I like that thought too... all the time in the world...as long as we're togther, that's all that matters."


End file.
